Hi, been a while. I got better but also I mask my autism now which is exhausting. I hate my vessel, it's garbage and I want a new one. I can't stand the reflection of my phone or reflective surfaces in general. I don't center my life around my looks but my personality is god awful too, it's an act that everyone around me loves and it's exhausting to keep up. I'm exhausted. I hate my vessel so much it makes me wanna ctb. I hate myself a lot still. I thought I'd be better after interacting with the world, making new friends and establishing a life but I want nothing more than to call it quits already. Everyday is an anxiety-ridden shithole and I hate everyone and everything.
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100memoryleaks
I'm sorry sweetie, I miss you
- Jul 6, 2026
- 205
I've had an ED for several years now, it fucking sucks and I understand the feeling of hating your reflection. I don't know for sure if I have autism also but I also relate to trying to keep up an act around everyone else. I feel like I have to act like I'm in a movie or something, just so I can pass for a normal person in real life. anyway i hope this doesn't come off the wrong way, I'm just trying to say that you're not alone in feeling the way you do, I see your pain
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