Blew off my face last year in an attempted suicide

[N7_Alliance_Marine]

I couldn't handle getting rejected by women anymore. I had to accept that being ugly, unironically autistic, physically disabled due to spinal problems, and being a NEET is a death sentence for my genes.

I tried to kill myself last year but screwed it up and blew off part of my face. I really hate looking at my fat disfigured face in the mirror now. As much as I am angry about women not liking me, there's part of me that doesn't blame them for not wanting to look at me. Especially with the way I look now.

At this point the best solution is to just kill myself. Video games only work as a cope for so long.

 

[suffering_mo]

I couldn't handle getting rejected by women anymore. I had to accept that being ugly, unironically autistic, physically disabled due to spinal problems, and being a NEET is a death sentence for my genes.

I tried to kill myself last year but screwed it up and blew off part of my face. I really hate looking at my fat disfigured face in the mirror now. As much as I am angry about women not liking me, there's part of me that doesn't blame them for not wanting to look at me. Especially with the way I look now.

At this point the best solution is to just kill myself. Video games only work as a cope for so long.

God, this is awful - I am so, so sorry. Can you provide more details, as gun is one of my top options? Did you put it under your chin, temple? What type of gun - caliber, etc?

 

[N7_Alliance_Marine]

God, this is awful - I am so, so sorry. Can you provide more details, as gun is one of my top options? Did you put it under your chin, temple? What type of gun - caliber, etc?

It was a glock 17 firing a 9x19. I put it in my mouth, pointed towards the cranial, then snatched the trigger at the last second missing the brain.

 

[TinyGuy]

Oh god that must feel so terrible to lose a part of ur face I wonder how did u survive I thought gun is almost guaranteed way to go

 

[N7_Alliance_Marine]

how did u survive I thought gun is almost guaranteed way to go

It missed the brain.

 

[suffering_mo]

You were actually able to get a 9MM inside your mouth (I tried but they don't fit)? But instead of it pointed in the back towards the medulla oblongata, the gun came forward out of your mouth and just hit part of your face? Trying to understand. Again, I'm so sorry. This is one of my worst nightmares - I have a .357 revolver and was going to put into mouth, pointed back towards the medulla oblongata. I'm very concerned now. Are you ok otherwise? Functionally?

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

The physical attribrute lottery is quite possibly the most cruel game in life.

 

[Alabaster]

Fuck, what an awful thing. I'm really sorry.

This is a lame suggestion, and I feel like an arsehole for making it, but it occurred to me and I want to share it in case it helps, no matter how low are the chances of this actually being helpful. Please forgive me if I'm out of line.

Maybe you could get the world's most amazing fursuit and try to bang furry girls (they DO exist, contrary to popular belief). Or cosplay with masks - Halo Master Chief suit?

I don't know if your spinal problems would affect you in this. It just seems like something that has a chance to change the equation somewhat, and maybe let you have some fun, which I think you deserve.

---

I read this today. Maybe you can relate, get some meaning from it. I don't know if it's too much to handle, emotionally speaking. But I'll leave it here just in case it helps somehow:

‘People say, just get surgery, and I’m like: Bruh, this is after surgery’

Cosmetic surgery fuels the fallacy that looks bring happiness. But what is it like to live with a striking visible difference? The star of a new film about the subject shares his real-life experiences

www.theguardian.com

Wishing you luck N7.

 

[CantDoIt]

I"m so sorry this happened to you, damn. Thanks for letting us know your story. There are several such cases where the victims got a "face transplant", I think aim is more important than people think.

I hope you find peace in whatever you decide in the future.

 

[sevennn]

im so incredibly sorry

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

I'm so sorry, I hope you find peace

 

[nir]

Holy fuck. If you don't mind me asking - do you remember all of it, or did you black out after the shot?

 

[CatLvr]

My gosh, this is my worst nightmare. If I were to ctb -- circumstances are different for me now than when I joined -- gunshot was my method of choice. Still is. Like others, I have questions, and do very much appreciate your willingness to share your experience, but if mine are a bridge too far do not hesitate to let me know you are uncomfortable answering. I will not be offended.

That said, do you have any firearms training? Do you consider yourself a reasonably accomplished shooter?? Like someone who practiced regularly? Or just someone who has firearms but didn't shoot enough to be aware of possible issues with trigger "break" or "anticipation"?? Do you (or did you) ever target practice?? Regularly (once a week average), semi-regularly (once every month or two) or rarely??

Again, thank you for being willing to share and if my questions make you uncomfortable, please understand that is not my intent.

I do hope you find some of the solace we all seek. If not in this life, then most assuredly in the next. My heart goes out to you.

 

[N7_Alliance_Marine]

You were actually able to get a 9MM inside your mouth (I tried but they don't fit)? But instead of it pointed in the back towards the medulla oblongata, the gun came forward out of your mouth and just hit part of your face? Trying to understand. Again, I'm so sorry. This is one of my worst nightmares - I have a .357 revolver and was going to put into mouth, pointed back towards the medulla oblongata. I'm very concerned now. Are you ok otherwise? Functionally?

I have a very large head. My head is too big to fit inside the largest sized US Army helmet which is probably why I was able to fit it in my mouth. What happened was I snatched the trigger when I pulled it, resulting in my face receiving most of the trauma from the cartridge instead of my brain.

That said, do you have any firearms training? Do you consider yourself a reasonably accomplished shooter?? Like someone who practiced regularly?

It's the only thing I'm proud of in my life. I can hit a point target the size of a head at 75 yards. I'm pretty good with handguns but I have little to no experience with rifles.

of possible issues with trigger "break" or "anticipation"?

I pulled the trigger as hard as I could as fast as I could along with tightening my fist like I was going to punch someone at the same time. It through my shot off completely.

The physical attribrute lottery is quite possibly the most cruel game in life.

Genetic determinism is brutal.

 

[finalincarnate]

This is a clear example of how soul forces human to live. For them, we are cattle of their ownership. Only they decide when and how we die. I'm pretty sure your soul looked ahead in time and saw the opportunity to avoid death even while letting you to take the shot. Because bullet was small and mouth does not open large enough to hold it straight upright. That is why you shoot yourself by something large enough to leave no chance of survival.

I will repeat words of one telepath who talks to the dead, it was about someone who saw himself as a failure and was going to kill himself. the telepath said souls tell you, you can not quit right now. after everything you went through; and you were rocking all this time. Souls see suffering as a form of achievement. They (unlike us) compare person's life to whatever was written in the incarnation contract.
So if a person is suffering "as it was written in one's fate " - he's crushing it! He's a winner!
These celestial parasites have their screws loose in their heads. They deliberately choose ill bodies to live a life in the pain. Setting up lifelong suffering, without permission to quit is amoral to say the least.

Alliance_Marine

They know your name, they know everything you would go through even before you were born. They are the true source of your pain. And you can talk to them. Go have "Life between lives" hypnotherapy session and record it on camera. After you wake up, you will see how your soul revealed itself and it's plans through your mouth.

Michael newton's audiobooks clearly address this topic.

 

[nux_walpurgis]

Jesus I don't even have words

 

[divinemistress36]

This is a clear example of how soul forces human to live. For them, we are cattle of their ownership. Only they decide when and how we die. I'm pretty sure your soul looked ahead in time and saw the opportunity to avoid death even while letting you to take the shot. Because bullet was small and mouth does not open large enough to hold it straight upright. That is why you shoot yourself by something large enough to leave no chance of survival.

I will repeat words of one telepath who talks to the dead, it was about someone who saw himself as a failure and was going to kill himself. the telepath said souls tell you, you can not quit right now. after everything you went through; and you were rocking all this time. Souls see suffering as a form of achievement. They (unlike us) compare person's life to whatever was written in the incarnation contract.
So if a person is suffering "as it was written in one's fate " - he's crushing it! He's a winner!
These celestial parasites have their screws loose in their heads. They deliberately choose ill bodies to live a life in the pain. Setting up lifelong suffering, without permission to quit is amoral to say the least.

Alliance_Marine

They know your name, they know everything you would go through even before you were born. They are the true source of your pain. And you can talk to them. Go have "Life between lives" hypnotherapy session and record it on camera. After you wake up, you will see how your soul revealed itself and it's plans through your mouth.

Michael newton's audiobooks clearly address this topic.

Suffering may be for spiritual growth but I'm over it

 

[CatLvr]

Suffering may be for spiritual growth but I'm over it

Thank you!! Do you mind if I "steal" your quote?? It fits me to a T and might help me get a very religious friend off my back!

 

[divinemistress36]

Thank you!! Do you mind if I "steal" your quote?? It fits me to a T and might help me get a very religious friend off my back!

Haha of course

 

[FadingSentinel]

I'm so sorry that it turned out like this.

 

[TAW122]

I'm very very sorry to hear about this outcome, and this is really unfortunate. I suppose that perhaps beyond missing the brain, you were probably saved/got medical attention before too much of blood loss I would imagine? While I would not personally avoid firearms (yes I know with any method there is always a risk or chance of failure), I trust that the odds of success are still more favorable for me and would take my chances.

Additionally, did you use a hollow point round or full metal jacket? Hollow point rounds are more effective at not over-penetration and deal more internal tissue and organ damage.

 

[Marco77]

I'm so sorry. How could this happen? Did you point the gun too far forward?

 

[lifeisbutadream]

This is a clear example of how soul forces human to live. For them, we are cattle of their ownership. Only they decide when and how we die. I'm pretty sure your soul looked ahead in time and saw the opportunity to avoid death even while letting you to take the shot. Because bullet was small and mouth does not open large enough to hold it straight upright. That is why you shoot yourself by something large enough to leave no chance of survival.

I will repeat words of one telepath who talks to the dead, it was about someone who saw himself as a failure and was going to kill himself. the telepath said souls tell you, you can not quit right now. after everything you went through; and you were rocking all this time. Souls see suffering as a form of achievement. They (unlike us) compare person's life to whatever was written in the incarnation contract.
So if a person is suffering "as it was written in one's fate " - he's crushing it! He's a winner!
These celestial parasites have their screws loose in their heads. They deliberately choose ill bodies to live a life in the pain. Setting up lifelong suffering, without permission to quit is amoral to say the least.

Alliance_Marine

They know your name, they know everything you would go through even before you were born. They are the true source of your pain. And you can talk to them. Go have "Life between lives" hypnotherapy session and record it on camera. After you wake up, you will see how your soul revealed itself and it's plans through your mouth.

Michael newton's audiobooks clearly address this topic.

I will look into Michael Newton's audiobooks, but, my friend, i think u might be thinking of some demonic entity rather than the soul. Is not the soul me? As they say, you are not a body with a soul; you are a soul with a (temporary) body.

As for the subject of this thread - were you - the OP - saved from bleeding out by an immediate rescue?

Apparently what happened - assuming this is true - was that you so rapidly jerked the trigger that you moved the gun towards the front of your face in the process, similar to flinching. You must have gotten off very well all things considered, to be writing so coherantly now and playing computer games.

Yet another reason that a shotgun is best. The blast alone from a shotgun should be enough to do the trick even disregarding the shell.

I don't know what ppl r even talking about when they talk about stuffing a whole gun in their mouths, or is it some kind of macabre joke?

 

[CatLvr]

I will look into Michael Newton's audiobooks, but, my friend, i think u might be thinking of some demonic entity rather than the soul. Is not the soul me? As they say, you are not a body with a soul; you are a soul with a (temporary) body.

As for the subject of this thread - were you - the OP - saved from bleeding out by an immediate rescue?

Apparently what happened - assuming this is true - was that you so rapidly jerked the trigger that you moved the gun towards the front of your face in the process, similar to flinching. You must have gotten off very well all things considered, to be writing so coherantly now and playing computer games.

Yet another reason that a shotgun is best. The blast alone from a shotgun should be enough to do the trick even disregarding the shell.

I don't know what ppl r even talking about when they talk about stuffing a whole gun in their mouths, or is it some kind of macabre joke?

I just always assume they must be talking about the barrel, and mostly the very end of it, unless they are using a subcompact. And even then I don't see it. Talk about awkward. How would you get your hand in there, too, to even be able to pull the trigger??

 

[finalincarnate]

I will look into Michael Newton's audiobooks, but, my friend, i think u might be thinking of some demonic entity rather than the soul. Is not the soul me? As they say, you are not a body with a soul; you are a soul with a (temporary) body.

According to modern telepaths, souls tell us that human/soul union is divided into three parts (I'm explaining it on personal computer example). First element is the body; which is equivalent of computer hardware. Second element is your personality/thoughts; which is equivalent of operating system/running programs. And third element is The user (A soul) which operates first two. You are an operator who commands this bio computer/robot. You are not your identity, nor your body. You are selfless entity who's memory was erased before incarnation, and was put in the body of an earthian, to command it. It is just that you got so much engaged in this process, that you started associating yourself with this body, personality, and name which you call yourself.