So the problem isn't so much being a weirdo and a loser but being a weirdo AND having a demeanor whereby your frustration and contempt is picked up by normies. I don't have this demeanor always either, with some people it goes away.
I mean, I think it is kind of understandable for people to not enjoy time spent with people who hold them in contempt? I'm glad that some of them are being nice to you anyhow.
I've thought about this a lot. At the core of it, talking about superiority or inferiority is moot. They're happy and I'm not. Just by that they are 'superior' in a real sense.
What happens is simply that we are abysmally different, and as a result I despise their values and they despise mine. But they are the majority and they determine how society is shaped, what is acceptable, what's not, in what we are forced to participate, what the 'goals' are, etc. And because they are slightly more cognizant than chimpanzees we get to live in a dystopia based on lies and materialism.
LOL. Except your co-workers are not fully in control of the atmosphere of the workplace? And surely aren't to blame for consumerism, and etc. Also, it kind of sounds like you can exert some control there by exuding toxic negative vibes? Plus the atmosphere of the workplace is somewhat controlled from the top down? IDK.
I think the only thing a person can do about the contempt thing (if they care to do it, because sometimes it isn't really worth it) is to purposely seek to find something good in the person and focus on that.
There is also a thing that might be something like a religious practice--except nowadays the dominant (US) religion seems not to be doing it or advocating it. You look at the person and think to yourself, "Just like me, this person has suffered in life. Just like me, this person is seeking happiness. Just like me, this person is learning about life." And a fourth one that I don't remember. Honestly? I have set out to do this at times, but have mostly been unable to do it in the moment.
And AA(?) has a prayer thing to use for the people who are living in your head because they've harmed you or others--or for whatever reason, you really resent them. I don't remember how it goes. Something like praying or wishing for that person (named by name) to have health, happiness, prosperity, and "everything I wish for myself." Supposedly the big secret there is spend some time drilling down to exactly what it is that you wish for yourself. Then you (maybe) realize that if only that person actually HAD the thing(s) they wouldn't be so horrible. But, geeze, in your case you would have to be praying for the entire world, I guess. That seems impossible. Maybe pick whomever the worst one is?
My contempt for people is one of the clues that made me realize that I am to an unknown extent a narcissist.
The narcissism thing is interesting. Someone I know quite well has a number of (IMO) narcissistic qualities. And he had at one point been professionally diagnosed(?) with an inferiority complex? LOL. (IDK if that's a real diagnosis or just a thing he took away via misunderstanding what the shrink said.)
I hope you can figure out a way to be less unhappy and more "comfortable," for lack of a better term.
Editing: I would bet that the feedback loop you described also works in the opposite direction. If you are (inside yourself) more comfortable and "happier," then people will be more comfortable around you and act in a way that you will perceive as their being nice to you. Also I think it was perceptive what you said about seeking positive feedback (or something along those lines).
Edit 2: Now I am imagining your judging me for overusing the word "thing" in this novella I just wrote. Just to spite you (haha), I am NOT going back to make my writing better.
