Venting Between a rock and a hard place

[mia.wallace]

Let me preface by saying I've been hesitant to post because I know there are many people in a worse situation. I honestly don't want to die, but feels like my hand is being forced. I cannot keep suffering for years to come and there's no hope for improvement in my situation (trust me, I've tried). It's as if I'm stuck in a nightmare that I have relive everyday, as I keep declining physically and mentally. It guts me to think about hurting my loving parents and what an amazing life I could've easily had if I had done/not done xyz. It's astonishing how fast life can easily go from being a beautiful thing to complete darkness and despair.. an endless loop of confusion, helplessness, torment, shame, guilt, grief.

It's a constant battle waging inside my head, and I just want to stop fighting and have peace. Yet that means giving up my earthly life and leaving my loved ones, and that peace isn't even guaranteed…

Well thank you to anyone who read this. Sending love to all those suffering xx

 

[tams]

I think everyone's situation is different. It's really hard to say yours isn't as bad as anyone else's on here. No one, but the person suffering, knows what goes on in their head. For me, I have my moments of happiness, but they are few and far between. Life was never really beautiful and there is a slim chance that it ever will be bearable. I don't necessarily want to die, but I don't have the strength and needed effort to change my life. Thus I will pick the former. It sucks to leave loved ones behind, but we all have to die eventually.

 

[lookingforsanctuary]

It's such a hard battle. I wish you well whatever you decide.

 

[Jezzibell]

I can relate 100% to feeling like this is the only option due to something you've done.

I have no desire to change my miserable existence. I just want not to gave to deal with reality

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is so horrible how there is no limit as to how much one can suffer in this hellish world and it does sound really tiring being trapped in that situation. Existence certainly is just too cruel and it makes sense wishing for peace from all the suffering that existing brings. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[OceanBlue]

It's astonishing how fast life can easily go from being a beautiful thing to complete darkness and despair.. an endless loop of confusion, helplessness, torment, shame, guilt, grief.

Life is like a box of chocolates.. too easy to get a stinky one