Venting being ugly is hell on earth

[d4isy]

my looks are the main reason why i'm suicidal. i'm almost the exact opposite of the beauty standard for women. what i'd do to swap places with a beautiful blonde blue eyed girl… :( i wish i was pretty enough to find a boyfriend…touch starvation is killing me.

there's genuinely no solution to my problem aside from suicide. i'll never magically become pretty. plastic surgery can only get you so far and i'm broke anyway so i can't afford it. plus i have features that can't be changed with surgery (close set dark brown eyes for example). i'm also genuinely deformed. i have a jaw deformity that i have to get surgically corrected (recessed maxilla + underbite). i just wish i was pretty

 

[Liebestod]

One of the worst things to hear as an ugly person are the naysayers that deny lookism say that it's all in your head when it really isn't. Evidence even shows it. We're simply just shallow animals repeating the unbearable and cruel cycle of evolution until the planet dies. "Get a better personality" Yeah your looks literally determine your perception and personality, if people are treated poorly due to their looks during their formative years than of course they won't have a good "personality". Hoenstly just mind boggling how no one consents to anything in life (life is rape) and on top of that everyone wants to say that it's your fault or that you have control over your life when you don't.

 

[Tigger]

I don't mean to stray off your specific topic, but I find it fascinating (and very sad) that the same standards aren't applied to men.

I'm fat, I'm ugly, I went grey haired young and sure, I couldn't get an intimate partner because of it. But I don't feel bullied or harassed, just simply ignored and overlooked.

My thoughts are with you OP, it's a tough world.

 

[LoverofAnimals]

Reading your message breaks my heart. You didn't ask to be born this way. This world is a terrible, judgemental, nasty place for people that are different. I'm truly, so sorry that you have to live like this. We were born with a body, and judging someone for that is in my eyes unacceptable.

A giant virtual hug for you

 

[LoverofAnimals]

THIS!! i'm so tired of being told it's all in my head when it very clearly isn't. my pretty best friend cheated on every single one of her boyfriends and generally treated them horribly, yet they all came crawling back to her every single time. that's when i really became disillusioned with the world. pretty privilege is absolutely real and to deny it is just plain ignorant.

That is awful! It's incredibly unfair

 

[Dejected 55]

I don't mean to stray off your specific topic, but I find it fascinating (and very sad) that the same standards aren't applied to men.

I'm fat, I'm ugly, I went grey haired young and sure, I couldn't get an intimate partner because of it. But I don't feel bullied or harassed, just simply ignored and overlooked.

My thoughts are with you OP, it's a tough world.

The main difference in beauty standards for men and women is... If you're an ugly man, women will shun you but men will not. They might not be your friend, but they will not actively ignore you and pretend you don't exist.

Women, however, they don't just have trouble finding a man to love them but other women will go out of their way to put down another woman. Truth to tell, pretty women will put down other pretty women too... just to get one over on them. It is measurable truth that women are as harsh or harsher on other women's looks as men are. Men don't apply the same pressure to other men, though... so if you're an ugly man and you decide to accept being alone, you won't have other men reminding you of it and women will just avoid you. Meanwhile a woman who tries to accept being alone will be ignored by men BUT women will still poke fun at her just because it makes them feel good.

 

[d4isy]

I don't mean to stray off your specific topic, but I find it fascinating (and very sad) that the same standards aren't applied to men.

I'm fat, I'm ugly, I went grey haired young and sure, I couldn't get an intimate partner because of it. But I don't feel bullied or harassed, just simply ignored and overlooked.

My thoughts are with you OP, it's a tough world.

people don't outright harass me anymore but they used to when i was still in school. i got bullied and treated like a leper, mainly by other girls. the guys were actually pretty nice to me since we had similar interests. but the girls literally treated me like i wasn't even a human being.

 

[shampoo sniffer]

I'm not denying that pretty privilege is thing. But it can be comforting to bear in mind that physical beauty doesn't last very long anyway. For most attractive people, by the time you hit your forties, your looks will have faded considerably (unless you're a celebrity that can afford cosmetic surgery).

Personally I plan to CTB before I hit forty, if not sooner (I'm 34 now).

 

[LoverofAnimals]

people don't outright harass me anymore but they used to when i was still in school. i got bullied and treated like a leper, mainly by other girls. the guys were actually pretty nice to me since we had similar interests. but the girls literally treated me like i wasn't even a human being.

Nobody deserves to be treated like that. I despise bullies. When I was in school, I would always defend the kids that got bullied, because I was always a head taller than all the other kids. Only the girls were a problem for me. I was overweight, so they would follow me home on their bikes making pig noises constantly. Girls are brutal.

 

[d4isy]

I'm not denying that pretty privilege is thing. But it can be comforting to bear in mind that physical beauty doesn't last very long anyway. By the time you hit your forties, your looks will have faded considerably (unless you're a celebrity that can afford cosmetic surgery).

that's true, but at least they got to experience being pretty, dating, etc. i haven't and most likely never will.

Nobody deserves to be treated like that. I despise bullies. When I was in school, I would always defend the kids that got bullied, because I was always a head taller than all the other kids. Only the girls were a problem for me. I was overweight, so they would follow me home on their bikes making pig noises constantly. Girls are brutal.

they absolutely are :( but you're a hero haha! fuck bullies!

 

[Dejected 55]

I'm not denying that pretty privilege is thing. But it can be comforting to bear in mind that physical beauty doesn't last very long anyway. For most attractive people, by the time you hit your forties, your looks will have faded considerably (unless you're a celebrity that can afford cosmetic surgery).

Personally I plan to CTB before I hit forty, if not sooner (I'm 34 now).

I'm just going to disagree on the by "your forties" thing... I know society tries to tell women they are "done" at 40... better be with a man and having babies or you're going to die dry or whatever... and all the people who get work done to stay "young"... those people honestly look like Frankenstein's monster... I try not to be cruel to people, because some people need corrective surgery to correct birth defects or after traumatic physical accidents or burn victims or cancer... and so forth... and those people are heroes to me whether they have surgeries or not... but it's like everyone has lost their damn minds and forgotten how beautiful women look in their 50s, 60s, 70s... There is a lot of photographic evidence and walking around right the fuck now evidence of very attractive older women. Women who weren't vain, didn't feel the need to alter themselves and try to preserve false youth... but instead embrace their ages and however that manifests on them.

When I was in my 20s there used to be some really attractive 60+ year old women I would see around and I liked them then... and I thought how damn lucky would I be to be in my 60s and my wife looked that good... then I got older and I realized that the women I found attractive... stayed attractive as they aged... because I loved those women... so I loved however they looked as they aged.

I wish society would grow the fuck up and accept nature's truth. And also, so much conventional beauty is no more beautiful than the vast variety of beauty there is in the world. Everyone has preferences and that's fine... but there are so many different ways for women to be attractive, I really hate when some try to make others feel ugly just because their beauty is different. Fuck that noise.

Richard Pryor used to have a joke... it's very crude, but it does the job. The gist of it was... There is no bad pussy. Any ladies here, if someone told you your pussy was bad, come to me after the show. It was a joke... a crude one... but the point came across clear to the women in the audience... the kindness underneath the crude... don't let someone tell you that your beauty isn't beauty just because they don't recognize it. Own your beauty and be with people who aren't jealous or cruel to you.

 

[d4isy]

Richard Pryor used to have a joke... it's very crude, but it does the job. The gist of it was... There is no bad pussy. Any ladies here, if someone told you your pussy was bad, come to me after the show. It was a joke... a crude one... but the point came across clear to the women in the audience... the kindness underneath the crude... don't let someone tell you that your beauty isn't beauty just because they don't recognize it. Own your beauty and be with people who aren't jealous or cruel to you.

i'm proof that pryor was wrong lol. i know bad pussy exists because i'm the unfortunate owner of one.

 

[Dejected 55]

i'm proof that pryor was wrong lol. i know bad pussy exists because i'm the unfortunate owner of one.

Don't believe it... and damn sure don't let anyone else ever try and convince you. And I'm not speaking to the crudity from the joke. Never believe anyone who tells you that you are ugly. It's okay for someone not to be attracted to you. It's okay for someone not to want to be with you, for whatever reason. But them not wanting to be with you doesn't make you ugly. And for damn sure if someone feels it necessary to tell you that you're ugly, you most definitely are not. In fact, one of the surest ways to know you aren't, is to have a mean person tell you that you are... they lie to hurt.