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un.exist

un.exist

peace welcomes with a grip of ice
Dec 25, 2025
97
Just why the fuck do I watch suicide videos...repeatedly and then have them saved on my fucking phone. Really?! All in the name of doing some 'research' for my method...it's actually messed up, why am I completely chill with watching random peoples transition from life to death over and over and over

Fuck me cuz what the actual hell
 
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ILiveForMusic

ILiveForMusic

Member
Feb 10, 2026
11
I don't know how you do it. I can't stomach it, but I want to do it so bad. You get points for courage!!!
 
chaewon

chaewon

Member
Jan 8, 2026
67
I don't know how you do it. I can't stomach it, but I want to do it so bad. You get points for courage!!!
i remember the first time i was on one of those sites where u watch people dying out of curiosity and the suicide or hanging videos would literally always send chills down my spine, like i could watch literally anything no matter how disgusting but a fully clothed person kicking the chair off and hanging there always made me feel very different and uncomfortable.

Recently while looking at a hanging thread here there were some videos attached to show u how it would be if done correctly and so on, and I watched them felt numb asf didnt even feel slightly bad and in fact wished it was me instead , i didnt even realise id be numbed to this by now like the last time i saw something like that before it made me feel horrible but a few months later its totally fine
 
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itsgone2

-
Sep 21, 2025
1,570
Recently while looking at a hanging thread here there were some videos attached to show u how it would be if done correctly and so on, and I watched them felt numb asf didnt even feel slightly bad and in fact wished it was me instead , i didnt even realise id be numbed to this by now like the last time i saw something like that before it made me feel horrible but a few months later its totally fine
It's terrible. I never would've been on a site like that before. Yesterday I spent a few hours watching shooting videos, trying to desensitize myself to it. It's partly working, but I hate watching them. It reminds me of the life I had where watching videos like this was unthinkable.

For OP though it sounds like you like watching them and it bothers you. I'm sorry. Nothing to say really, just I wish we had lived different lives and never knew about these things in the first place
 
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