Being stuck in suicidality

[noname223]

When I compare myself to my friends I see them progress in life. Achieving their personal goals but i am stuck in my hellish life. The probability that my life gets better is very low. It is more likely that it becomes way worse.
I am not sure when it is the perfect time for the exit. Maybe there is no perfect time. You suffer daily, thinking about suicide and your own unhappines and then you do it. You regret a lot of things but you were unable to change anything. You wish there was another way to go. But then you realize that you cannot stand the pain anymore. This fucking cruel world we live in.

 

[WornOutLife]

I feel the same but I stopped comparing with others long ago.
What I can assure you is that every year it gets worse!
I'm 32 and most of my friends are in their 30s and have their own family, houses, cars, etc while I only managed to rent a small apartment.

Anyway, material stuff can go to hell! I just love my PC! lol

 

[sadworld]

Yeah, I feel the same... I'm sorry you have to go through something like that!

Sending and

 

[js927?!]

You took the words out of my mouth. I’m so sorry you are feeling like this, it really is a horrendous existence.

 

[UiopQwerty]

Hello.
I've been there. And sometimes I'm there... Im fighting with loss myself.
Loss of selfesteem. It feels like no one understand. Then I came here. And all of a sudden it seems like I have
hundreds of friends. Take your time here... Navigate, read, comment. Say -Hey how are you? Who knows?

I lurked here for 3 months like a shadow. Now Im in...

TAke care.

 

[NodusTollens]

—hugs—

Damn, I feel this Op. Only one of my friends that isn’t shacked or with kids. It sucks. No words of wisdom, just a little empathy.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I feel the same but I stopped comparing with others long ago.
What I can assure you is that every year it gets worse!
I'm 32 and most of my friends are in their 30s and have their own family, houses, cars, etc while I only managed to rent a small apartment.

Anyway, material stuff can go to hell! I just love my PC! lol

The thought of living like this for another year fills me with terror.

 

[muffin222]

I can relate to what you're saying. I'm so sorry you're stuck in this pain

 

[Raminiki]

I empathise. For me it's seeing my family members living successful lives and being celebrated for it. All emotional and financial support is available for them. I'm excluded and discriminated against in comparison, when I'm in much greater need I get nothing, and every new injustice is another blade through my heart. I can't withstand the alienation forever and pretend they haven't betrayed me. They metaphorically broke my back and blamed/shamed me for not being able to stand.

They have no idea how deeply I hurt or how long I've struggled to keep existing despite that. I'm alone. And I'm so tired and defeated, I'm just spending empty days waiting for a final sign. Like you, there's no way for things to get better. They have me trapped in a hole and won't help me out nor let me out, and they keep me in that hole subcoonsciously but deliberately. I'm basically already in my grave, but still breathing.

Warm hugs to you. We all understand the suffering.