it's hard being alone, but honestly, i prefer it at this point because i despise how it feels to get close to someone, only to be hurt repeatedly.
imo, i can't trust anyone when I'm at this low point. opening up and being vulnerable with another human being has only brought pain. i feel disgusting now when i think about doing this with someone else.
people will always be people.
hence, why i believe it's best to treat everyone as acquaintances. it's fine to keep them close, but definitely maintain a distance at the same time, to keep yourself safe.
wearing my mask has helped me preserve my peace. it helps me get through each day of this shitty life, having to deal with other human beings, and i hope it keeps me afloat long enough until I'm ready to take it off and leave forever.