Being in my own bed

[I Me & Myself]

I have no one to talk to right now so I'm saying it here

I'm sleeping in my own bed tonight. And it's weird. I've not been home in months, my roommate stripped all sheets off my bed while I was gone so I had to re sheet it.

It's more comfortable than a hospital bed.
I can look outside through the glass door onto my neighbour's orchard.
I'm alone.

I don't feel particulary anxious or happy. It just feels... surreal. And weirdly, I don't feel safe. But not in a way that I'm afraid more in a... I know I *should* be afraid way. But there's nothing to be afraid of so I'm just sitting here, reading a book and watching Video essays. Then back to book and back to essay and so on.

What an odd time to be alive.

 

[timf]

A change in routine or location can produce a disassociative interval. This can produce anxiety or as you have noticed even a period of relative tranquility.

Sometimes such intervals can give a perspective that would not easily be otherwise achievable. This perspective can allow one to look at their life a little more objectively and sometimes be able to see a change of direction or other changes that might be tried.

 

[deny_conformity]

I know what you mean, sort of. I should be afraid of what I might do to myself but at the same time my medication makes me numb to that. I know I am rocking severe depression under the hood.

Keep doing what you're doing, avoiding boredom is important. I usually find reading helps distract me and I love video essays on YouTube. I say to people I don't see the point in shorts, if it's under 10 minutes I'm not interested .