being an oversensitive little bitch be like

[keiangel1]

I lowkey don't know what the fuck is wrong with me cause everything can be all sunshine and rainbows one second but the minute one minor fucking thing happens everything comes crashing down. I was literally fine before but then I texted someone asking about what I missed cause I didn't show up for a rehearsal and he was so fucking dry about it and that just immediately pissed me off for no reason but now I feel like everyone hates me for missing that ONE rehearsal and that the reason he was being dry is cause everyone talked shit about me and fuck I don't even know anymore. I'm not very popular with people, maybe that's why I always overthink these things and it IS so dumb and I KNOW IM OVERREACTING AND OVERTHINKING but it still hurts and I don't know why I'm like this.
I went to the mall earlier to buy some clothes and the employees were giggling and looking at me and I felt so self conscious and pissed and it's literally the same thing as the above.
Tiny minuscule things that have no meaning that just somehow blows up in my mind and makes me feel like shit. And you're probably thinking "wow this chick is a fucking snowflake what's up with her ass" and shit I'm thinking that too. I wish I wasn't like this. I'd rather be one of those unfeeling nonchalant assholes that I talk shit about than be an oversensitive snowflake that cries when people talk too loud.

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

i know how you feel. all it takes is one small thing and once i feel bad, i go down a huge spiral and depressive episode. sometimes it would be a bad interaction with someone, maybe they got mad at me, maybe i said something stupid. sometimes it's just a shitty day, i miss my bus, i get bogged down at work, i don't get a lot of sleep. sometimes ots literally just a single thought, sometimes it's just seeing someone else being happy that cause me to blow up.

i get jealous of everyone and everything. i don't have many friends, never had any romantic relationships or intimacy. i dont bother trying anymore because all i can think of is when ill inevitably ruin everything and blow up on them and make everyone hate me.

I wish there was an easy way to stop feeling this way, but there isnt. i wish i could just open up my brain and flip a switch so i wont care so much about everything anymore. so i could process my emotions in a normal and healthy way. i dont bother venting or opening up about this outaide of here because people's responses never help.

"comparison is the thief of joy." "you cant compare yourself too much to others." "you need to learn to forgive yourself." like saying a flowery sentence to me is just supposed to instantly rewire my brain and undo a lifetime's worth of experiences. everyone's support just bounces right off of me because it means nothing to me. its just in one ear and out the other. ill never be fixed. ill never be happy

 

[telekon]

fuck people man, it's not worth it

you don't owe it to anyone to show up to every rehearsal

 

[raincandy_v]

One of the big reasons I don't really join social groups or go out much. Even just a trip to the store at 1am and I feel like the staff are watching me and mumbling under their breath about me.

I tend to overthink a lot myself. A lot about the past or anyone that I may get close to. I'll say something and then dwell on it for days where it ruins everything I try to do meanwhile I swear they don't even consider it.

Have had someone I was close to do that to me here back in November. She was my best friend and partner of the time. She'd said something I got hung up on and it felt like a pit in my chest and stomach. I couldn't shake it and when I brought it up she exploded at me.

Since then I have maintained a wary stance on everything. Every word I say, every action, every little detail. I feel like someone is always judging me for some small detail.

I think the worst part is knowing I am overreacting or overthinking something too. Like, I know I shouldn't but I do anyways cause if I don't then that is going to be the one time I should have.

Don't think that one rehearsal is going to make them hate you. I know it's hard to not think that way; but taking care of yourself is more important.