Discussion Being alone/ not having partner/family

[blanketyblk]

Why having no one? Is it hard for you to meet someone?
Im kind of special and I don't hang out with whomever, but you are a woman, sure you can have some friends? Can't you? Go to a Meetup , or other type of place where people meet?

I had family and friends and a partner. sadly all of them have passed away now. So trying to start again is hard because your carrying around that amount of loss. also just not generally very good at making new friends.

 

[barny]

My

I've cut off 95% of friends(not that I have many, but what few I do have), and slowly cutting ties with family. Haven't been in a relationship since the girlfriend was killed 5 years ago.

I'm cutting ties with everything so that they get used to not seeing or hearing from me. That way it makes my leaving that much easier.

My time is getting closer. Just one more hurdle to jump, and from there, it'll be time.


Sounds a lot like my ex-wife.

boyfriend was killed aswell, never got over it
I

Why having no one? Is it hard for you to meet someone?
Im kind of special and I don't hang out with whomever, but you are a woman, sure you can have some friends? Can't you? Go to a Meetup , or other type of place where people meet?

Dont know, noone wanted to know me with being ill all the time, people coudlnt hack my mood swings or understand. Was fed up of being the one that always made all the effort. Iv looked for meet up groups but none in my area, no support groups near me. And hate myself too much, feel im too fat etc

 

[dandan]

A friend of mine(*) told me yesterday that I was exagerating with me desiring death... normal people definitely dont understand, this guy aint normal, but does not believe in ctb.... he told me he would invite me to work on a cruise , cruising around the world. Sure I'll take that...
I have a very small amount of friends, this guy I havent seen in 8 years, but we WERE best friends younger.

Sadly for us, we have to live life today or take the route others have taken... yup, you know which route is that...

 

[ProhibereDolor]

That is called parental alienation. I am an alieanted mom. And this is the root of my suicidal wishes again. First time was when my ex won custody of our daughter after 10 years of in/out of court. His&his wife's constant harassment and abuse of me and our child.

And now that she's just turned 18 and I reached out to her and I see just how much they've brainwashed her against me w.their twisted rewriting of history. What she said to me makes me again not want to live if I cant have my baby girl back.

You still have a chance tho. Things have changed so much since I went thru it. So many more resources and changes in the system. Go on fb and look up alienation. You'll find lots of help.

Thank you for the reply and information. I don't want to end up in that same kind of situation. I have already taken the first steps toward resolving this with the courts by filing a petition to modify the parenting time court order along with a petition to enforce that order and a petition to waive/defer the lawyer cost because I can no longer afford my original family practice lawyer. So I have to go with legal aid provided by the city. Hopefully something comes of those. From what I understand she could be held in contempt of court for not following the court order which in Arizona comes with a fine, jail time, or both. Not what I want to happen but there has to be some kind of punishment for blatantly ignoring a court order signed by a judge. Thank you again, and I really do hope things get better for you.

Best wishes

oh cool cool dont worry, are you a female, under 36, want to be my partner? LOL

Hahaha. Nope, not female. Yep, under 36, and I'm sure you're a swell fella but nope, don't wanna be your partner. Unless it's a heist.

 

[Empty Smile]

My boyfriend was killed aswell, never got over it

Friend of mine, who is also a member here, just lost a friend of hers. And I told her that they say "Time heals all pain." That is the biggest crock of shit line I've ever heard.

 

[barny]

yep its been 3 years and it still hurts just as much, and i still cry on my own in the car. when I went to his funeral, my mum even said 'why are you going you didn't really know him' err hello he was my boyfriend. no one gets it.

 

[Theon]

I haven't been in a relationship in six years. It really took me a long time and a lot of reflection to realize that being an addict has kept me alone. I did have a lot of friends but over time, also because of my problems with addiction, I've come to lose many of them. And because of the horrible anxiety and anhedonia I developed after a binge last year, the ones I did have left, I've barely been able to see or hang out with so I feel like I don't really have anyone.

 

[Mljonzy]

I'm almost 30 never had a girlfriend or any intimacy ever not even come close i don't understand how people get in relationships or have sex. This just makes me want to end it all the more eveytime i hear someones getting married or having a child ect it triggers me and almost pushes me over the edge. All i need to see is a couple holding hands and i instantly want to kill myself it makes me feel sick that i never had any of that shit. Just fucking let me die in my sleep or a cardiac arrest please.

 

[not_a_robot]

Opposite for me. I want no people in my life IRL, I have to ctb because I will never be allowed the level of independence and isolation I need in order to make life bearable. I fucking hate people nosing around, manipulating & interfering with me, and it feels like that's all they do, hatefully, I can't fucking stand it. It just keeps getting worse.

 

[ddim]

I had friends and girl-friends, and I found I was toxic for them because of personality and mental problem, then I started to deny everyone.

And my family is still haunting me in my mind, although I quit them for many years.
So I guess I have my family in a weird way.

 

[wanttodie.nz]

I have a few friends but they are busy and don't have much time for me. My family will be better off without me as I'm a financial burden to them. My wife pushed me out of the house that we own together and I only see my kids every second weekend. I know other people have it worse but this is very hard on me. I can't move on from this and I'm still hung up on my ex wife.

 

[Aliaiactaest]

That is called parental alienation. I am an alieanted mom. And this is the root of my suicidal wishes again. First time was when my ex won custody of our daughter after 10 years of in/out of court. His&his wife's constant harassment and abuse of me and our child.

Yes, my daughter was alienated against me by her mother.

Here's a terrific Youtube video on the subject. This was my first wife to a tee.

 

[HitchHiker]

Yes, my daughter was alienated against me by her mother.

Here's a terrific Youtube video on the subject. This was my first wife to a tee.

The men and women that do this are nothing short of child abusers.

 

[HGL91]

Being alone makes me depressed, but being around people makes me anxious, so it's a lose-lose for me.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

Trust me even if you have family doesn't mean.much if they don't give a shit and all they do is take or pile more shit on you. I wanted a partner and kids but still alone. Now I'm at a point where I won't have those things. My life is pathetic.

 

[Dawn0071111]

yes, yes and yes.

doing life alone with no one is hard, very hard. coming home from work after a full day to an empty house is also the most depressing thing. when i got home from work yesterday. i just sat in my car for about 40 minutes. trying to work out what i still bothered coming home..

so yes. having no one just takes all the joy out of life. all simple pleasures you get with having someone else in your life just become chores.

I totally get this....

 

[justanotherday]

yes, yes and yes.

doing life alone with no one is hard, very hard. coming home from work after a full day to an empty house is also the most depressing thing. when i got home from work yesterday. i just sat in my car for about 40 minutes. trying to work out what i still bothered coming home..

so yes. having no one just takes all the joy out of life. all simple pleasures you get with having someone else in your life just become chores.

I am just the opposite... when I come home from a long day, I am tired, feel gross, and I just want to be left alone.

 

[Ky204]

Since my last relationship ended I'd say yes. Not because of that relationship alone but the feeling of having no one is pretty strong at the moment.
Now that my moms gone as well I distance myself from my remaining family because they don't understand what I'm going through and usually try to give me bs advice, telling me to move on with life.
The majority of my friends have also given up on me, so my animals are pretty much my only company.. I prefer them over humans anyway.

 

[oopswronglife]

It's pretty brutal when you've done nothing wrong, are a victim, and people abandon you as if you are a bad person like an abuser or cheater or scumbag of whatever sort. Family, most friends, and partner have done so to me over the years, and it sounds like most of us have experienced this. I've seen people who create their own problems and treat others poorly get more sympathy, understanding, and kindness. Maybe we need a matching service here for all the broken souls like a pet adoption shelter.

"Likes books, films with subtitles, photography, and cats. House trained, but a fussy eater. Can still get around but is a bit wobbly and doesn't like car rides. Needs a good Forever Home. Inquire within."

 

[justanotherday]

does anyone want to CTB because they are alone and have no family?

Yea i have no friends or family but i also always wanted to have a partner/kids and my boyfriend died and then im just getting older and atill alone and too messed up for a relationship. I wondered if i did have someone if things would be different. I dont know and suppose it dont make a difference what ifs.

I am not the least bit interested in being with anybody any more. I am way too depressed and worried about just making it through each day. Any kind of relationship is the last thing on my mind.
I do like some people, but I don't want to get too close. I just do not have the will or energy it takes to keep up close relationships.

 

[dandan]

I'm feeling good now, thanks to hormones and testosterone and exercise.
But having a partner? Damn would be nice and at the same time a little hard ....

 

[Wayfaerer]

Yeah, no gf ever. It's not why I'm going to ctb but it doesn't help matters especially in times like these.

 

[Stan]

I am alienated from my 3 kids, ironically one of them is the reason why I have delayed my cbt till December. It is probably one of the biggest reasons for why I am the way I am

 

[JWL]

yes, yes and yes.

doing life alone with no one is hard, very hard. coming home from work after a full day to an empty house is also the most depressing thing. when i got home from work yesterday. i just sat in my car for about 40 minutes. trying to work out what i still bothered coming home..

so yes. having no one just takes all the joy out of life. all simple pleasures you get with having someone else in your life just become chores.

It's a small thing, but if it helps...

Before leaving the house, arrange things so that it looks/is as comfortable and inviting to enter as possible. Leave a small lamp on and have the table laid for dinner, bathroom ready to go. Favourite film or music set to enjoy, or even leave music on all day for you to come back to. Something like that.

 

[Final Escape]

Why having no one? Is it hard for you to meet someone?
Im kind of special and I don't hang out with whomever, but you are a woman, sure you can have some friends? Can't you? Go to a Meetup , or other type of place where people meet?

It does become harder to meet people the older you get. Maybe more for women. Men, if they are reasonably successful will always have options to date younger, but women have a shorter window to land a partner and going younger for women tends to not work. The guys that are younger just want a casual hookup and older guys are often not attractive that are interested in u. Lol! It's a bad deal. If I can give young women advice try to find someone young and hold onto them because when you're older it's just not fun for women if u are single. Might as well not try to date after 40 if you are female. Of course this varies depending on how well off a woman is. You have more options if u have the money for maintaining yourself with plastic surgery and hormone replacement.

 

[woxihuanni]

I'm feeling good now, thanks to hormones and testosterone and exercise.
But having a partner? Damn would be nice and at the same time a little hard ....

Yeah it would often be uncomfortably hard.

Sorry, cannot resist old joke. :( I hope I die today in my sleep.

 

[dandan]

It does become harder to meet people the older you get. Maybe more for women. Men, if they are reasonably successful will always have options to date younger, but women have a shorter window to land a partner and going younger for women tends to not work. The guys that are younger just want a casual hookup and older guys are often not attractive that are interested in u. Lol! It's a bad deal. If I can give young women advice try to find someone young and hold onto them because when you're older it's just not fun for women if u are single. Might as well not try to date after 40 if you are female. Of course this varies depending on how well off a woman is. You have more options if u have the money for maintaining yourself with plastic surgery and hormone replacement.

My mom happily remarried around 45, there's chance

 

[Final Escape]

My mom happily remarried around 45, there's chance

Yea there's always exceptions, but probably not the rule. It depends on some variables.

 

[Rachel74]

I spent 4 weeks over the summer on my own as my partner went walking in Iceland. I really enjoyed it, was rather miffed when he came home.