Venting being a woman in the middle east

[Mgelanie]

I'm 20 years old and still not in college because I was held back in elementary school and dropped out for a year My parents never paid attention to my education instead they were teaching me how to be a housewife There are no jobs (I live in a small town) for women here unless you work for the government so if you want to work before graduation you can't my parents don't let me go out even in the daylight so if I want to take a walk I can't while my brother comes home at 3 am and they don't even question him He also drinks alcohol smokes and talks to girls he go with his friends to the city stay there for days but since he is male no one cares
Meanwhile I have never been to the city never been to a Restaurant never been to a Carnival and to this day they go through my phone sometimes they don't allow me to have social media because they worry I will talk to men so I only have YouTube They forced me to wear a hijab (wich I fucking hate) and are trying to force me to start praying They bring up marriage every single day and even tried to match me with a man in his 40s who has 5 kids (I told them I would kill myself if that happened) Every day I live in envy of men they are free they drink smoke and sleep around while I can't even leave the house in the daylight It's been months since I left the house I can't run away because there is nowhere to go and they would literally kill me if I ever thought about it The only way out is marriage I wish there is a man who know about my situation and is willing to marry me just to help me get out of here im really tired my whole life got wasted in this shitty house with Cockroach and my mom always be like "you should Thank allah you have food" like omg I don't want food I don't wanna be fat and married to a man who humiliate me everyday like you in top of that my adults brothers who could move out (cuz they are men and can do wtv they want) but refuse to move out cuz me and my mom do everything for them literally EVERYTHING they control my life more than my father and mother and if i stand up against them they hit me so i just gave up
plus all the Restaurants coffe shops and gyms we have here are for men only women can't go there
Idk what to do

 

[Dinorun]

sounds horrible, im sorry your family has forced you into this situation. i hope you find a way out of that toxic envierment.

 

[retstardeda$$hole]

I can't say I relate but I lived in the middle east for 15 years and It breaks my heart to see the state of patriarchy over there. My condolences.

 

[Die.A.Ria]

Theres a subreddit for exmuslims and they find relationships with other exmuslims just for them to leave and be free from their parents

 

[nayomi]

very sad but luckily a solvable situation

 

[tonicer]

I am sorry you experience this oppression and sexism. I don't have anything to say that might help you but i keep you in my thoughts and wish you the best. You are still very young so don't give up hope yet.

 

[Die.A.Ria]

Theres a subreddit for exmuslims and they find relationships with other exmuslims just for them to leave and be free from their parents

I think its called exmuslimsr4r or something similar

 

[whywere]

I have through almost 5 decades of business dealt with everyone across the globe and I am a 100% FIRM believer in the aspect that each and every person should be able to choose their own destiny period.

It always has and always will break my heart to see potential being wasted by any form of religious or governmental pressure.

A woman having to walking behind a male and/or husband..NO!

A woman who cannot fulfill their destiny of going to higher education, much less basic education..NO!

A woman who "must" marry a person that they do not like and/or getting married period if they do not want to..NO!

Being in a business meeting and having men only being there and/or allowed to speak..NO!

Walter

 

[NoPoint2Life]

very sad but luckily a solvable situation

I never do this, but I am genuinely curious how you think this is solvable? Because the user sounds pretty defeated and if you know anything at all about the Middle East, we know they are not exaggerating.I feel horrible for them, but I have no suggestions. It's a horrible situation. No one should be put in a position like this.

 

[Mgelanie]

sounds horrible, im sorry your family has forced you into this situation. i hope you find a way out of that toxic envierment.

Thank you

Theres a subreddit for exmuslims and they find relationships with other exmuslims just for them to leave and be free from their parents

I heard there was a subreddit for exmuslims who are also iraqi (It's easier if It's someone from my country) maybe I could find someone who could help me but im scared that they will play me and my parents find out

I am sorry you experience this oppression and sexism. I don't have anything to say that might help you but i keep you in my thoughts and wish you the best. You are still very young so don't give up hope yet.

Thank you so much this means alot to me

very sad but luckily a solvable situation

Any suggestions

I have through almost 5 decades of business dealt with everyone across the globe and I am a 100% FIRM believer in the aspect that each and every person should be able to choose their own destiny period.

It always has and always will break my heart to see potential being wasted by any form of religious or governmental pressure.

A woman having to walking behind a male and/or husband..NO!

A woman who cannot fulfill their destiny of going to higher education, much less basic education..NO!

A woman who "must" marry a person that they do not like and/or getting married period if they do not want to..NO!

Being in a business meeting and having men only being there and/or allowed to speak..NO!

Walter

Well said! It's sad that we don't have basic freedom to this day

 

[2709mg]

i'm so sorry you're going through this. living in a muslim country as a woman is truly a different type of hell, and i think all the time about women like you, all my friends, and my female relatives who are still stuck back there. your entire life is controlled and restricted, all because you were born female. it's not fair.

 

[never mind me]

I'm sorry, this sounds horrible. You said that your parents don't care for your education. However, I wonder, if it might be acceptable for them, if you try to pursue a career that is deemed suitable for females (like being a midwife or a nurse or a teacher) and if that could be an excuse to move to a bigger city for training and work? Depending how the situation in your country is (i.e. how much women are disadvantaged by law or if it is only social norms) moving to a bigger city might already help to have a bit more freedom.
I understand your idea of trying to escape your situation by marriage, but I think you have to be careful in order to not end up in a situation that is even worse. Although what you are experiencing now is probably bad enough to justifiy desperate measures.

 

[Mgelanie]

i'm so sorry you're going through this. living in a muslim country as a woman is truly a different type of hell, and i think all the time about women like you, all my friends, and my female relatives who are still stuck back there. your entire life is controlled and restricted, all because you were born female. it's not fair.

I'm happy for all the women who don't live in here no one deserve this

I'm sorry, this sounds horrible. You said that your parents don't care for your education. However, I wonder, if it might be acceptable for them, if you try to pursue a career that is deemed suitable for females (like being a midwife or a nurse or a teacher) and if that could be an excuse to move to a bigger city for training and work? Depending how the situation in your country is (i.e. how much women are disadvantaged by law or if it is only social norms) moving to a bigger city might already help to have a bit more freedom.
I understand your idea of trying to escape your situation by marriage, but I think you have to be careful in order to not end up in a situation that is even worse. Although what you are experiencing now is probably bad enough to justifiy desperate measures.

My parents are okay with me going to college I am homeschooled but I am very far behind in school I depend on myself when studying i'm very stupid and barely pass

 

[coolcow1289]

Sounds like absolute Hell. I'm sorry.

Want to become an American? I'll marry you

 

[lastappleonearth]

I'm 20 years old and still not in college because I was held back in elementary school and dropped out for a year My parents never paid attention to my education instead they were teaching me how to be a housewife There are no jobs (I live in a small town) for women here unless you work for the government so if you want to work before graduation you can't my parents don't let me go out even in the daylight so if I want to take a walk I can't while my brother comes home at 3 am and they don't even question him He also drinks alcohol smokes and talks to girls he go with his friends to the city stay there for days but since he is male no one cares
Meanwhile I have never been to the city never been to a Restaurant never been to a Carnival and to this day they go through my phone sometimes they don't allow me to have social media because they worry I will talk to men so I only have YouTube They forced me to wear a hijab (wich I fucking hate) and are trying to force me to start praying They bring up marriage every single day and even tried to match me with a man in his 40s who has 5 kids (I told them I would kill myself if that happened) Every day I live in envy of men they are free they drink smoke and sleep around while I can't even leave the house in the daylight It's been months since I left the house I can't run away because there is nowhere to go and they would literally kill me if I ever thought about it The only way out is marriage I wish there is a man who know about my situation and is willing to marry me just to help me get out of here im really tired my whole life got wasted in this shitty house with Cockroach and my mom always be like "you should Thank allah you have food" like omg I don't want food I don't wanna be fat and married to a man who humiliate me everyday like you in top of that my adults brothers who could move out (cuz they are men and can do wtv they want) but refuse to move out cuz me and my mom do everything for them literally EVERYTHING they control my life more than my father and mother and if i stand up against them they hit me so i just gave up
plus all the Restaurants coffe shops and gyms we have here are for men only women can't go there
Idk what to do

I'm genuinely sorry u have to endure this, I can't even imagine honestly. And to think that many men from ur country and similar countries then move to Europe or other places and are still able to continue with all this shit most often completely unchecked baffles me

 

[Tyra]

I wish I was born a man… even being in North America I wish I was born a man. They have a better life. (I would prefer to not be born at all tho).

But what you deal with is a lot worse than anything… I'm sorry.

 

[violetforever]

They bring up marriage every single day and even tried to match me with a man in his 40s who has 5 kids

disgusting how your only two options in life to them are to be under their control or under the control of a man. its not a life at all. i wish you could have so much more than that :c

 

[Mgelanie]

disgusting how your only two options in life to them are to be under their control or under the control of a man. its not a life at all. i wish you could have so much more than that :c

Thank you they see me as a burden and want to pass that burden onto someone else

I'm genuinely sorry u have to endure this, I can't even imagine honestly. And to think that many men from ur country and similar countries then move to Europe or other places and are still able to continue with all this shit most often completely unchecked baffles me

These men will tell you that women are not oppressed in here and that we choose this life we don't want this we are just silenced because if we speak they will abuse us

Sounds like absolute Hell. I'm sorry.

Want to become an American? I'll marry you

Only if you are okay with one of my family members killing us both

I wish I was born a man… even being in North America I wish I was born a man. They have a better life. (I would prefer to not be born at all tho).

But what you deal with is a lot worse than anything… I'm sorry.

It's okay when I die all of that won't matter

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I really wish I knew what to suggest that could help but I don't honestly know. All I can say for sure is I despise Islam and its evil God. The religion itself is beyond evil and it's probably the most disgusting religion there is.

I truly am sorry for what you are experiencing. The sexism in that hellhole we call the Middle East is absolutely evil.

 

[Mgelanie]

I really wish I knew what to suggest that could help but I don't honestly know. All I can say for sure is I despise Islam and its evil God. The religion itself is beyond evil and it's probably the most disgusting religion there is.

I truly am sorry for what you are experiencing. The sexism in that hellhole we call the Middle East is absolutely evil.

It's very evil I have to watch everyone living their life while I rot in here because of some stupid book

 

[smirks00ts]

im from the middle east as well but im a man, im sorry if my post discomforts you but I get how you feel ive always been oddly different because if my mental health and how I raised myself in a way. I dont go out much and my parents would check on my pgone often when I was younger because of me not being straight and stuff like that. I wish I had better words to explain it but I truly wish you the best. im a little religious myself but I understand how restricting it feels. I hope you are well.

 

[Mgelanie]

im from the middle east as well but im a man, im sorry if my post discomforts you but I get how you feel ive always been oddly different because if my mental health and how I raised myself in a way. I dont go out much and my parents would check on my pgone often when I was younger because of me not being straight and stuff like that. I wish I had better words to explain it but I truly wish you the best. im a little religious myself but I understand how restricting it feels. I hope you are well.

That must have been so hard on you growing up especially feeling different and struggling with mental health my parents don't believe in mental health I hope yours are not the same I'm so sorry you went through all of that It breaks my heart to see someone who can't express themselves because of society Over here they would rather see an abusive person than a gay person and If being religious is what you are comfortable with then I truly support you and wish you the best

 

[shun75x]

I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through a situation like the one you described. I'm truly sorry. I really hope you can find a way out of this. Hopefully, the subreddit someone shared with you will help. If you need to talk or anything, I'm here for you. This is a woman from Argentina writing. Things might be different for you.

 

[Mgelanie]

I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through a situation like the one you described. I'm truly sorry. I really hope you can find a way out of this. Hopefully, the subreddit someone shared with you will help. If you need to talk or anything, I'm here for you. This is a woman from Argentina writing. Things might be different for you.

Thank you so much y'll are so kind I feel good after getting this off my chest I hope women in argentina have it better than in here

 

[shun75x]

Thank you so much y'll are so kind I feel good after getting this off my chest I hope women in argentina have it better than in here

I think that in most western countries, women are better off than in the middle east/muslim countries. It's a shame that a religion/culture is valued more than human rights themselves.

 

[Mgelanie]

I think that in most western countries, women are better off than in the middle east/muslim countries. It's a shame that a religion/culture is valued more than human rights themselves.

They don't see us as humans sadly and I don't think they ever will