Discussion been trying to CTB for years, having trouble.

[deadbirdinthelawn]

im 19. ive never been happy for as long as i can remember. i remember trying to hang myself when i was 8, taking tons of random pills i found in my home when i was 13, when i was 17-18 i would get so fucked off Benadryl everyday. i thought itd kill me if i did it enough. but im stupid and didnt realize that you cant CTB off of ibuprofens or allergy medicine really.... i guess buying a gun would be pretty quick but i just dont have the funds. ive had some people tell me its a sign that its never worked before but if anything its just motivating me to keep trying to CTB. if i do get anther job soon i could just go the gun route but oh my god i can barely even keep the one i have now. anyone know any other methods?? more ones that arent gonna cause me super super mega pain 9000 lololol its gonna happen either way so might as well try and find a peaceful way.

sorry for any grammar mistakes!!

 

[Lostforgood]

I wish I could go the gun route but my option is sodium nitrite

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I should compose myself and buy a fucking gun. I'm so depressed now and I keep "trying" to hang myself at home but I can't kick the chair. I just stood on it and tried. Everything was set. I could be dead now, but I just could not make the choice.

 

[deadbirdinthelawn]

I should compose myself and buy a fucking gun. I'm so depressed now and I keep "trying" to hang myself at home but I can't kick the chair. I just stood on it and tried. Everything was set. I could be dead now, but I just could not make the choice.

yup. Happened to me alot, makes me feel so stupid because i so clearly want to CTB but sometimes i just cant. hope the best for ya though <3

I wish I could go the gun route but my option is sodium nitrite

never thought abt that option before, i hope i can keep my job until i have the funds for a gun but honestly i might just quit and try to hang myself lol, best wishes to you

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Trying again tonight. The courage seems a million miles away. But rehearsals should br desensitizing me.