Venting Been depressed

[Someplace_nice]

I been getting depressed at the end of the day for a few days now, idk why but I've been wanting to SH and CTB a lot, and well, it makes it easier to SH at night when I do something bad. And I have already and have a plan for it again tonight. I can't tell him, it'd break his heart into a million little pieces. I don't sleep at night so my mind goes wild and I go into a spiral while he's dead asleep so he can't stop me. I've hinted at my plan last night and he didn't take it to heart so ik that he'll never be the wiser. It feels so damn good to sit in my depression and SH, I've really missed it. It feels like my life is getting back to normal instead of this dream I'm living and the funny thing is, I don't wanna stop. It feels like something I was missing in my life. I'm afraid that it'll spiral into something else but I also don't think it will.

 

[Eriktf]

SH are a symptom of depression and we can do something about depression

dont sound that fun to lay in bed depressed and sh, i would tell him or get some kind of help
its easy to "enjoy" it but its not good

Recovery and Crisis Resource Compilation

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sanctioned-suicide.net

PS:
that was the Shiites and the most standard advice but i think its the right one for what you described