been a while but i want to ctb

[nmnxastia]

hi all. it's been quite a while since i last posted here but i'm really not happy right now. my friend OD'd (lived) last week and that really fucked me up, and the rest of my friends are ignoring me. i'm struggling even worse than before and have gone massively downhill since the last time and i just can't do it anymore. i want to ctb but the only easily accesible method i have is an OD on paracetamol and i know it's painful and shitty but i genuinely want to do it. does anyone have any advice.

 

[90starve]

please do not OD on paracetamol - as you said, it's very painful and shitty. OD is definitely not advised unless you have the option of N.

stay safe - thinking of you <3

EDIT: should also mention that the success rate for OD is extremely low. you're more likely to wake up in hospital getting a stomach pump!

 

[nmnxastia]

please do not OD on paracetamol - as you said, it's very painful and shitty. OD is definitely not advised unless you have the option of N.

stay safe - thinking of you <3

what alternative is there that i can do. i just want to leave this shitty place and i dont care how.

also what's n?

 

[90starve]

what alternative is there that i can do. i just want to leave this shitty place and i dont care how.

also what's n?

N stands for nembutal - a sedative drug used to treat insomnia/ seizures.

unfortunately it seems unavailable to the public. i have seen people on this forum saying that you'd have to travel to Mexico to purchase it.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Do not overdose on paracetamols as I did it before unless if you want to mix that with another method…. It was the most excruciating pain that I have ever felt. To be honest I think other methods like hanging, CO monoxide, SN and N would be better methods. (We do have a lot methods and resources here so you can have a look at them).

I'm not encouraging you to commit suicide here but please do a lot of research before committing suicide and the recovery for me was brutal I had drips on my arms everywhere and they had to take a lot of blood test on a daily basis etc and did a scan to check if my liver had been damaged or not and unluckily my liver wasn't damaged. I remember when they told me that my liver wasn't damaged I was so angry, I was angry because I felt like a failure…. The fact that I failed to kill myself then and i'm even more angry right now that I failed to die back then because of what I have been going through for the past few months because if I had succeeded back then I wouldn't have gone through this ordeal twice.

I wish I knew about this site then in 2018 then I would have been more thorough and more prepared.

It wasn't pretty and it was the most physical pain that I have ever gone through so please choose other methods which are better out there.

All the best in whatever decision you decide to make in the end.

Edit - I was told though if were to use the same method I would damage my liver due to my prior attempt and I actually do have a lot paracetamols in my flat but I don't think I would end up using them.

 

[nmnxastia]

See I was thinking that it would hurt but I'd be unconscious for most of it and if it didn't go well I'd be in hospital and people would actually know I'm fucked but it'd be fine after hospital. i guess not

 

[90starve]

See I was thinking that it would hurt but I'd be unconscious for most of it and if it didn't go well I'd be in hospital and people would actually know I'm fucked but it'd be fine after hospital. i guess not

paracetamol won't knock you unconscious, if that's what you meant. or did you mean you plan to take an OD, and then knock yourself out another way? - either way, i would highly advise against any sort of OD.

there are other methods, like the ones that @Goodgirlryeo101 mentioned, that can be peaceful :) have a little look around the forum before deciding on an unreliable and dangerous method.

stay safe <3

 

[FuneralCry]

There are lots of posts on here about how paracetamol isn't recommended as a way to ctb, just by searching the word I found posts saying that it's unreliable and horrific. Unfortunately the reality is that suicide isn't as straightforward as just taking random pills, after all we exist in this world where suicide is purposely made so difficult for us, if people could leave this world so easily then this site would never need to exist. I hate how difficult it is to die but sadly it's just the reality of existing here.