N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,379
I am very much anti-drugs and would not recommend anyone to try illegal drugs outside of a medical treatment.

But I have to say dying like Lil Peep would be not bad for me.
My nervous system is fucked. If I took a similar amount of benzos like Peep I would have a good time for like 1-2 years I guess. In the longrun though my life would be fucked even way more. It is playing Russian roulette and I hate that. If I knew the drugs would certainly kill me within 2 years I might consider it. Though I don't live in a country where there is an opiod crisis I think the fentanyl is responsible that so many drug addicts die.
Moreover drug abuse does not usually end like in the case of Peep. Usually the people become homeless where they are an easy target for abuse and violence.

I like the idea of playing Russian roulette with my life. Death could happen any time. Death would be a surprise and I like that notion. However I dislike playing Russian roulette with my (mental) health. If I did not die by the drugs my living hell would just become even more torturous. So I certainly won't choose that path.

The thing is I live quite healthy. Except that I do literally never sport and spend most of my lifetime in my bed. However I am thin as fuck, my blood analysis shows perfect results, I eat extremely healthy (due to the weight obsession) and I am hungry like every single day.

I read people who take antipsychotics die several years earlier usually. (up to 20 years)
But the causality is unclear. Many people gain very much weight (not me) when taking them maybe that is the reason.

I had psychoses so any psychoactive drug would induce psychoses. I think only benzos and opiods would remain as drugs in this hypothetical (!) scenario.
But I think Peep died because he mixed so many different drugs which interacted. So I would not be able to do that anyway.

However I think drugs have a lot of extremely horrible side-effects. I just like the notion of increasing the likelihood that I die soon without having to do it by myself. I even thought about starting a very dangerous hobby. (climbing?)
Though I hate physcial activities. And I certainly won't start smoking cigarettes. Way too expensive and cancer is no good way to exit this world. Peep said he had sleep paralysis due to abusing drugs. He said he woke up in his own shit several times. Moreover he fucked up his nervous system. However mine is already fucked by childabuse. (no drugs)

Maybe there are some drug users who can describe the side-effects of taking such drugs. Also the shortterm effects.
 
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L

letmejoindeath

Kill me
Oct 15, 2023
198
I am very much anti-drugs and would not recommend anyone to try illegal drugs outside of a medical treatment.

But I have to say dying like Lil Peep would be not bad for me.
My nervous system is fucked. If I took a similar amount of benzos like Peep I would have a good time for like 1-2 years I guess. In the longrun though my life would be fucked even way more. It is playing Russian roulette and I hate that. If I knew the drugs would certainly kill me within 2 years I might consider it. Though I don't live in a country where there is an opiod crisis I think the fentanyl is responsible that so many drug addicts die.
Moreover drug abuse does not usually end like in the case of Peep. Usually the people become homeless where they are an easy target for abuse and violence.

I like the idea of playing Russian roulette with my life. Death could happen any time. Death would be a surprise and I like that notion. However I dislike playing Russian roulette with my (mental) health. If I did not die by the drugs my living hell would just become even more torturous. So I certainly won't choose that path.

The thing is I live quite healthy. Except that I do literally never sport and spend most of my lifetime in my bed. However I am thin as fuck, my blood analysis shows perfect results, I eat extremely healthy (due to the weight obsession) and I am hungry like every single day.

I read people who take antipsychotics die several years earlier usually. (up to 20 years)
But the causality is unclear. Many people gain very much weight (not me) when taking them maybe that is the reason.

I had psychoses so any psychoactive drug would induce psychoses. I think only benzos and opiods would remain as drugs in this hypothetical (!) scenario.
But I think Peep died because he mixed so many different drugs which interacted. So I would not be able to do that anyway.

However I think drugs have a lot of extremely horrible side-effects. I just like the notion of increasing the likelihood that I die soon without having to do it by myself. I even thought about starting a very dangerous hobby. (climbing?)
Though I hate physcial activities. And I certainly won't start smoking cigarettes. Way too expensive and cancer is no good way to exit this world. Peep said he had sleep paralysis due to abusing drugs. He said he woke up in his own shit several times. Moreover he fucked up his nervous system. However mine is already fucked by childabuse. (no drugs)

Maybe there are some drug users who can describe the side-effects of taking such drugs. Also the shortterm effects.
Yeah I tried the same thing by getting myself addicted to the needle.

Unfortunately, the meth made me experience what felt like actual happiness and kept me alive until I stopped and decided I would at least attempt life.

If you start, my advice is just don't stop. There's no point in trying to be a good person anymore once you start.

I wish opiates didn't make me so sick or I probably would have been able to die much sooner.

The contingency plan was to be murdered in prison but that hasn't panned out yet either
 
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feuerflieger

feuerflieger

i only exist
Oct 9, 2023
30
i have a similar thing going on.
i haven't taken any hard drugs yet (unless lsd counts) but sometimes i get the urge to start h and enjoy life up to the point it starts to destroy everything, then just get it over with and ctb by od. its probably not the best idea but it sounds exciting and fun in my head. i want to cbt anyways so why not experience drug induced happiness beforehand? plus (please dont call me cringe) i always felt a kind of connection/fascination (?) to the 27 club, wanting to 'join'. i feel weird saying that since im not famous but whatever
 
J

Jorms_McGander

Arcanist
Oct 17, 2023
478
Man here's a shortcut to dying like a drug addict: move out onto the sidewalk right now.
 
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