Discussion Beautiful people

[TotallyIsolated]

Because they get enough validation and affection as it is so a 9/10 girl having a picture of herself on a sucide forum is just insulting she is just seeking further validating and it is pure vanity she loves her looks so much that even suicidal people have to look at her and be jealous, there are even males on this forum who wants to ctb because they can´t get any physical attention from females yet the girls have to put salt in the wound of these males.

It boost mental health I have a perfect meme for that I might post soon basically saying a man feels good for the one good comment he got a year ago while females get 100 a day.

I *am* one of those 'males' as you put it and, NO thats just not true.

Women can choose to look good *for themselves*. You're objectifying women and then blaming them for it. They're not 'seeking attention' any more than you are for literally anything you do...

I dont think most women get as much attention as you seem to think they do (I hate reddit, but you should read /r/FAWomen for a bit of perspective), but more importantly you're assuming that attention is wanted. A shrivelled little dick pic is NOT a compliment.

I realise this is totally incongruous with what I wrote above. I hate myself.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Ouch. That hurt.

I deleted my comment that already got some reacts and am sending it to the person I quoted via PM, replacing it with this because I don't want to contribute to derailing this thread.

Clearly this topic brings up some issues for various people, and comments can bring up more issues for more people. The OP is trying to work something out here, and others have their own takes on it. It may or may not get messy.

 

[Apathy79]

I really was beautiful. I was told that my whole life and I don't think I went a day after 14 without a boyfriend. My illness took my looks. It is very hard to go from beautiful to not beautiful when you relied on it your whole life. I didn't realize until my looks were taken how much of my identity was tied to that.

I've just been speaking to an old school friend recently who described basically this exact problem. I suspect it's quite common, especially for women. I hate to think what it's going to be like for the upcoming Insta-generation.

 

[MartyByrde]

See, I feel that exact same way, yet I am a "conventionally"?? attractive 22 year old woman. Mental illness, insecurity, self hatred, etc. really do not discriminate.

---
This thread is lowkey making my blood boil lol, holy hell my mind is a trainwreck and in all of the turmoil I have not once thought about my physical appearance let alone been comforted by it.

I guess I'm pretty, or whatever? I mean, I have a partner and when I used to post on social media have always gotten a decent amount of attention... But I really can't comprehend how anyone could think that would contribute to someone's mental wellbeing, especially a pervasive mental illness. I deal with paranoia, delusions, reality breaks, psychosis, depersonalization/derealization, social phobia, BPD, and severe depression - someone could be the most objectively beautiful person in the world and any one of these things would still make life hell.

In my opinion, it's something I don't like about myself. Because I experience a deep sense of self loathing, it always feels like there is a disconnect between my inner and outer worlds. For example, I have pushed my husband away completely to the point that he sleeps in our basement because I can't get a grip on my mental illness and don't feel that I deserve to... I feel like if he could see me for who I really am he would hate me, be disgusted, never want to be with me etc. At this point I'm not interested in discerning whether these thoughts are delusions or not. It has absolutely nothing to do with physical appearance. Real people don't care about that stuff. And it's kind of insulting to hear that someone thinks something so shallow could bring peace of mind to someone in pain.

I guess I should thank you though as the "blood boiling" is the first thing I've felt in a while haha

There's a strong anti-woman element to several of these posts, and it really bothers me as well. Seems like a disproportionate amount of sexist bullshit here.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I find it particularly sad when I see photos of a beautiful woman who's killed herself compared to other people. I struggle to understand why somebody so good looking would do that as they could have anything they want. I know that mental health and life don't discriminate, but also have this deep core belief that good looks and being desired are the way to happiness (for me anyway). Social media just confirms these views as the better looking you are the more attention you get. I feel bad having this view as I want to believe that every life is equal and the world is a fair place, but unfortunately it isn't.

I used to have a similar struggle with this in the past as well, but then I came to realize just how dangerous having a pretty face or being considered physically attractive can be when we live in a world full of predatory people who are looking to exploit others for their own personal gain. While it's definitely no good to be regarded as ugly and rejected by other people because of the effect it could have on our self-esteem, when the opposite is true, that puts people at risk of being taken advantage of by those who would pretend to love them just to use them for personal favors (these could be sexual, financial, or any number of things), only to abandon them when they lose interest, which is just as destructive, imo.

To make matters worse, reading or hearing about every instance in which a person that was considered beautiful was abducted, sexually assaulted, stalked, or murdered by a psycho, it becomes obvious that having good looks is NOT the key to a happy life. For people who have survived such experiences and now suffer from PTSD as a result, it is no surprise that some of them might now be miserable enough to CTB. Even for people who have not experienced it, the knowledge that it could happen to them at any time could be enough to paralyze them with fear and prevent them from living their life, which could then result in them committing suicide if that fear permanently ruins their ability to experience joy in this world.

Aside from those things, there are also lots of various other physical or mental disorders that could affect someone that none of us are even aware of until those that are afflicted by them either open up about them or they are discovered by someone else. These things could also be the reason for people committing suicide, regardless of their physical appearance. In that case, having good looks would not be enough to prevent it, so when you know that, it becomes easier to understand why someone who is "beautiful" or "handsome" might CTB. The fact is, the world is shit and life is exactly that for a lot of people. It doesn't matter what sort of skills, strengths, or positive attributes people have, we all have some sort of weakness that can exploited and no matter what, other people and the world around us will find a way to use those weaknesses to destroy us and when that happens, a lot of people are going to say fuck it and end their own lives. I wish it didn't have to be that way, but unfortunately it is.

 

[maru.]

First i'd like to say that this thread is worrying me, it's clearly making a lot of people uncomfortable and even more depressed, and in a forum like this we could do without that.

Please let's be civil and kind above all else, and remember that everyone's pain is real to them, always.

Also, i'm afraid this thread soon becomes an "Us vs. Them/Label vs. Label" discussion or something like that, maybe i'm just paranoid, but still, let's cut it out before that happens, we're all on the same situation afterall, we're all broken.

So, about this whole "looks" thing:
Some people are poor and miserable. Some people are rich and miserable.
Some people are ill and miserable. Some people are healthy and miserable.
Some people are unnatractive and miserable... You can see where i'm going with this.

Of course, i'd rather be the latter in all of these scenarios, but that's not all there is.
These are factors that can make you happy, or at least happier, but that's the key word here: "can".
It varies from person to person, it depends on why you're miserable in the first place.

If you're depressed because of an illness or something along those lines, looks won't magically make you happy.
But if you're depressed because you can't find a relationship with someone you're attracted to, that you can't find affection, or because you have low self esteem...
Then yes, looks can make you truly happy.
It's all context really, i think the reason tensions are getting a bit high in this thread is because we're forgetting that detail.
Mental health can involve the smallest detail in our very different and very complex lives, let's have empathy, my friends.

It all comes down to what i said earlier, and it's something i live by:
Everyone's pain is real to them.

 

[Khyber]

Apologies if I've raised any negative emotions in people, it was never my intention. Also the thread is in no way meant to be sexist against women. It's difficult when communicating online as the wording can be interpreted differently than it was intended.

I have a core belief that I need to be desired by others to be happy, particularly women. If I see a beautiful woman, I just think that if only she wanted me then I'd be happy. It's searching for a feeling of validation that'll never be met.

I find it really sad that I'm looking through the pictures of the people that have passed away through suicide and unintentionally feeling more sad for the 'better looking' people as if they're different from everyone else. It's horrible to have the initial reaction that one life is more important than the other. I should add that I've worked as a counsellor in the past and I'm currently in social work, so I make a point of treating everyone I support equally with the same empathy and respect regardless of looks, or anything else for that matter. However, I probably do treat colleagues and female friends etc slightly differently depending on how they look. It's just a way of trying to make me feel better. However, it's very hypocritical as it's definitely not how I wanted to be treated by others (unless I miraculously change into a male model).

Anyway the thread was just to see what it's like to be on the other side of that. I'm a relatively intelligent guy that 'knows' that mental health doesn't discriminate against anyone regardless of looks, wealth, status etc. However, I've don't have experience of any of these so I have deep seeded beliefs that they're the answer. The emphasis for me has been on looks as the rest of it kind of follows (though I know that's a generalised statement that's probably far from true).

Apologies again I've contributed to any negative feelings. I'm looking at it from my perspective as a male, but I'm sure some females maybe feel the same so in no way am I trying to be chauvinistic.

 

[Mistake of Nature]

This might sound stupid but...it's actually kind of hurtful to hear people say that looks don't matter when my life has been decimated by my physical appearance. There are definitely sexist/misogynistic undertones to some of these comments, but as an ugly woman, let me just say that being unattractive is incredibly painful given that our worth to society is based on what we look like. If you're an ugly woman, you're viewed and treated as trash, or better yet, completely invisible and as if you don't exist. Just like OP said, attractive women who CTB get far greater attention in the news compared to others, and that's a reflection of the value that we place on beautiful people.

I 100% agree that being attractive doesn't solve all problems, that mental illness doesn't discriminate, and that all pain is valid and real, regardless of what someone looks like...but like..."pretty privilege" definitely exists. It just seems like it's always attractive people who think that looks don't mean anything I hope I didn't come across as being dismissive of attractive people's problems. I guess I just wanted to say that being ugly is another layer in the shit sandwich that is life.

 

[Pupu]

Just been reading the post 'Faces of Suicide'. I find it particularly sad when I see photos of a beautiful woman who's killed herself compared to other people. I struggle to understand why somebody so good looking would do that as they could have anything they want. I know that mental health and life don't discriminate, but also have this deep core belief that good looks and being desired are the way to happiness (for me anyway). Social media just confirms these views as the better looking you are the more attention you get. I feel bad having this view as I want to believe that every life is equal and the world is a fair place, but unfortunately it isn't.

Is anyone here really beautiful? How does that impact your mental health and suicidal thoughts?

Ps. Not a dating thread!ha

It just sound that you wish everyone to be equal but even you fail thinking like that.

 

[Blue Portal]

Just been reading the post 'Faces of Suicide'. I find it particularly sad when I see photos of a beautiful woman who's killed herself compared to other people. I struggle to understand why somebody so good looking would do that as they could have anything they want. I know that mental health and life don't discriminate, but also have this deep core belief that good looks and being desired are the way to happiness (for me anyway). Social media just confirms these views as the better looking you are the more attention you get. I feel bad having this view as I want to believe that every life is equal and the world is a fair place, but unfortunately it isn't.

Is anyone here really beautiful? How does that impact your mental health and suicidal thoughts?

Ps. Not a dating thread!ha

looks do matter but only up to a degree. At the end of the day they could be dead on the inside.

 

[hanzoplays]

I've spent months in mental hospitals..
In Paris, in smaller french cities, and in London aswell.

I can recall seeing at least 5 really hot girls in there. All young, slim, with pretty faces.

These girls would get a lot of customers if they worked at a brothel naked. (and trust me I would know about that ;) )

I was really surprised to see this kind of girl struggle with mental health.

I guess I was naive

 

[terry_a_davis]

^^^^^ this post reminds me that during my 9 week stay in a mental hospital there was a couple of females and males most would consider to be good looking.

 

[itsamadworld]

Social media just confirms these views as the better looking you are the more attention you get. I feel bad having this view as I want to believe that every life is equal and the world is a fair place, but unfortunately it isn't.

It's a shame, but unfortunately you're correct. Better looking people get more attention. Personally, I have body dysphoria, along with a host of other mental problems including Aspergers so I might say TMI, FYI........ I even went so far as to spend my hard earned money on breast implants, but had them removed a long time back. I think it occurred to me several things. 1. people will never be satisfied. Because the more one acquires, the more satisfaction one requires. And beauty fades. I work with old lady's in nursing facilities, and let me tell you, i think the more beautiful ones struggle, because they had more to loose..Kinda like the bigger the titties, the harder they sag. And it's kinda nasty in my opinion, harder to clean under, but I tell myself this to feel better about my lack. My sister was always the beautiful one, who got all the attention. I was the quintessential wallflower, the family scapegoat.... And she would shake her titties around and brag about it. "oooh, i went to the market and some guy gave me a discount, cuz of my cleavage!" U know how deflated that made me feel? for realz...I don't think i'm a good or a bad person thinking in this way! And i am not spring chicken myself! Why would I want 20 years old tits on a 40 year old body? I look like a freaking alien, no offense to aliens.........and those things need to be updated and replaced like a vehicle or a windows 10! ..it's just my personal opinion..... Oh no one wants to hear it. My bad.... : I just had to get that off my chest, teehee.....so thank you SS.....Anyways.. I prefer to date people around my level., because it is easier to be myself around them. I don't have to try to impress them with all this fake shit. So if i were a 5, I would date a 5. If I'm a 4, I will date around a 4. Kinda that sort of premise is how operate things. I am not gonna state which level that I currently believe that I am, because I'm not on this thread looking for a date either. :)

It just sound that you wish everyone to be equal but even you fail thinking like that.

I didn't catch that vibe, personally, but everyone interprets things differently, and i'm fine with that... I think it's good to "call out this demon" so-to-speak. Because as someone who suffers with body dysphoria, i think it is good that we talk about the Competitiveness of our Species....and physical attributes certainly was pushed at the female gender more so than our male counterparts in it's own right through advertising, porn, miss universe, models, etc.etc...That presents it's own hell for us women, as different types of status may for men...Experience being the greatest teacher.....and nothing is equal in this world, and i don't think human nature will ever allow that to change...and would mischievous humans even want to get rid of competition. Humans seem to drip with a blood-lust for drama.....

 

[Loner]

Just been reading the post 'Faces of Suicide'. I find it particularly sad when I see photos of a beautiful woman who's killed herself compared to other people. I struggle to understand why somebody so good looking would do that as they could have anything they want. I know that mental health and life don't discriminate, but also have this deep core belief that good looks and being desired are the way to happiness (for me anyway). Social media just confirms these views as the better looking you are the more attention you get. I feel bad having this view as I want to believe that every life is equal and the world is a fair place, but unfortunately it isn't.

Is anyone here really beautiful? How does that impact your mental health and suicidal thoughts?

Ps. Not a dating thread!ha

Beauty is useless when your life is f-ed and you are being so unlucky. I love my family and I couldn't take it when something bad happens to them. Beauty is not everything and I believe that is the reality. When it comes to me, I am not interested in anything this world can offer, I just want to stop existing. I wish my parents didn't make me . I hate the fact that I still exist

Many beautiful people kill themselves, I am sure they wouldn't do it if everything was alright in their lives...

 

[Despondent]

We might see someone as being beautiful or handsome, but they might see themselves differently

There's something beautiful about each one of us but sometimes we don't see it ourselves

 

[Tintypographer]

I thought that kate Spade was beautiful and she was by a certain standard quite successful from a career, business and financial perspective. I do not know the stats and the tough thing is that beauty is subjective, but I bet there is not a correlation between attractiveness and depression and by extension suicide. I bet it matter much more your genetic predisposition to chemical imbalance and then the environment and stresses with how you grew up. Attractiveness isn't a predictor of someone's mental health. It could affect your career, dating prospects, and in some cases your ability to command immediate vapid respect but I think that what overwhelmingly affects suicide correlation is mental health which goes way deeper than looks.

 

[dandan]

That's a good selfie
I'm skinny 135lbs at most, probably 125lb today because i cant go to the gym and I loose weight when I don't eat and work out.


Been out of depression thanks to testo and dianabol, 9 months without feeling bad.

 

[muffin222]

It doesn't work that way. A similar thread was posted before that I already responded to. I'm conventionally attractive. I was a "Hooter's Girl" and a model for several years. Yes, there are perks. That's undeniable.


But, I've battled with my mental health for years, since childhood. I was a victim of rather serious child abuse, neglect, bullying, and then, later on, domestic violence. It's completely altered the course of my life. I've suffered from depression, anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, and OCD as a result (though it's been in remission for quite some time). I also self harmed off and on for years as well. I've been unable to work for the past 8-10 months because my depression has destabilized my life so much. It's a rollercoaster. I've grappled with suicidal thoughts since age 11 when the bullying started. Mental illness and trauma don't discriminate.

I'm also autistic as well, which adds another layer of complications. I have no friends whatsoever because I struggle to relate to people and maintain friendships. I'm incredibly overwhelmed by the demands of daily life. Things that are easy for other people are hard for me. I feel overwhelmed and too sensitive for this world. I feel constant pressure and judgment.

Yeah, I may be attractive, but it's been a tragic existence all and all. My looks have done nothing to prevent these issues or fix anything, really. A lot of people seem to believe that being a "beautiful woman" automatically erases your problems and elevates you to some magical place in life where everything just falls into your lap easily, but it just doesn't work that way. Part of that belief system is societal conditioning as well as the "Halo Effect" where we feel like people are somehow better because they're good looking. It's not a golden ticket. There are no golden tickets, besides being born into a wealthy family, perhaps.

This is the real world, not a Hollywood movie. It's been a life of deep pain and sorrow

 

[Khyber]

I didn't really mean for this thread to turn into a debate about whether beauty prohibits the development of mental health problems, as we all know that anyone can suffer. My point was more about how beautiful people are more valued by society than others. For me, beauty was the initial/only factor I considered whilst looking through the photos of those that had died from suicide. Some people might say other factors like wealth or status are just as important, but for me they don't matter as much as the initial judgement was made on how people look. As I said before, it's really sad that I view the lives of beautiful women to be of more value than others, when in a perfect world each life should be equal.

As Twombly pointed out, it's an issue in the media (where I'm from anyway). I don't know the stats but suicide is a massive killer. However, the papers here only really report the suicides of attractive people (Altough that could also be due to confirmation bias on my part). I look at them and think it's so sad as they must have had everything going for them, but obviously that's not the case, and I'm making an incorrect judgement based on how they look. Whereas, I'm more understanding of those that aren't as attractive taking their own lives. Really all lives should be important and it's terrible that we live in a world where anyone should even have to consider ending their life.

As Twombly also pointed out, 'If you're an ugly woman you're viewed and treated as trash, or better yet, completely invisible and as if you don't exist', which must be horrible. I'm male so have no idea how hard it is for females and the additional pressure that must be on them around how they look. I guess it's like penis size and the stigma and societal expectations attached to having a big or small one (Another cause of mental despair that is enforced by the media).

I never once thought that beauty is the answer to all life's problems. However, my mental health issues, and previous years of bullying and struggling to fit in, have left with an insatiable need to be desired. I just wanted to know more about how being beautiful, and thus desired, impacted on mental health. Like any factor or trait eg. beauty, health, wealth, status, popularity, height, weight, penis/breast size etc. they can all have a detrimental effect on mental health. Everyone's problems are painful and too much to deal with hence why we all ended up here.

This also wasn't a thread about everyone being equal as unfortunately we're not and life isn't fair. However, everyone's death by suicide should be equally sad.

 

[Pupu]

I didn't catch that vibe, personally, but everyone interprets things differently, and i'm fine with that... I think it's good to "call out this demon" so-to-speak. Because as someone who suffers with body dysphoria, i think it is good that we talk about the Competitiveness of our Species....and physical attributes certainly was pushed at the female gender more so than our male counterparts in it's own right through advertising, porn, miss universe, models, etc.etc...That presents it's own hell for us women, as different types of status may for men...Experience being the greatest teacher.....and nothing is equal in this world, and i don't think human nature will ever allow that to change...and would mischievous humans even want to get rid of competition. Humans seem to drip with a blood-lust for drama.....

It is allright and with that "call out this demon" I agree with you. I admit I didn't fully read the first posts when I sent that writing and after I did I saw it was kind of "outdated" as the OP did realise how he was a hypocrite. It is sad that people are like that but more sad it is that there is a lot of people who doesn't even realise they have that side in themselves. They go around acting like good samaritans and act out more devil than the people who are honest about what they are. As you see my English is awful but I hope you catch my mindscape of this. I think I also can share your view since I share that BDD.

This also wasn't a thread about everyone being equal as unfortunately we're not and life isn't fair. However, everyone's death by suicide should be equally sad.

Just like everyone's life sound be equal. Just like every human being alive should be equal not just after suicide. The fact is that we are not equal dead or alive. Because life is unfair people commit suicides. A bit weird thinking to ask for equality in suicides when life time is what matters.

 

[Khyber]

It is allright and with that "call out this demon" I agree with you. I admit I didn't fully read the first posts when I sent that writing and after I did I saw it was kind of "outdated" as the OP did realise how he was a hypocrite. It is sad that people are like that but more sad it is that there is a lot of people who doesn't even realise they have that side in themselves. They go around acting like good samaritans and act out more devil than the people who are honest about what they are. As you see my English is awful but I hope you catch my mindscape of this. I think I also can share your view since I share that BDD.


Just like everyone's life sound be equal. Just like every human being alive should be equal not just after suicide. The fact is that we are not equal dead or alive. Because life is unfair people commit suicides. A bit weird thinking to ask for equality in suicides when life time is what matters.

Again you seem to have misinterpreted my post. I wasn't asking for equality in life or death. I'm simply stating a fact that I and other people including the media value the lives of the 'beautiful' more than the 'normal' or the 'ugly', even in death. Therefore, I need to look at my own values. For me feeling sad about someone taking their own life is more about the sadness that life was so shit for them that they felt they had no other option. Not a sadness that somebody has died.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I think it's really important to note the halo effect @muffin222 mentioned above.

I don't think it's unnatural that the OP @Khyber feels more impacted by the suicide of a beautiful person, only that it's undesirable to him/her to feel that way. The media plays on it as well, has for decades. People are kidnapped and murdered every day, but what draws attention -- which is what the media wants -- are those who are attractive and successful, or in the dominant structures of being Caucasian or rich. Humans seem to care more about such things, and if they are ethical and self-aware, then they feel not so great when they find themselves caring more.

I think of famous deaths that still have cultural resonance decades later. The woman who jumped from a highrise dubbed "the most beautiful suicide" and the Black Dahlia come to mind. I think perhaps such things reach into our psyches at what Jung would call an archetypal level, as we are symbolic thinkers (language itself is based on symbols and heavily determines how we make meaning by defining the world through symbols, including binary opposition, such as beautiful vs. ugly).

I recognize the OP's struggle with how he views such suicides, and the secondary struggle of the conversations the post inspired. I think folks have a tendency in binary thinking to struggle with where they fall on one side or another: "I am not beautiful, and this is another example of how I get overlooked or get less opportunities" vs "I am considered beautiful, and it's caused its own problems, or I too experience lack" -- in other words, binary thinking is part of how the human brain functions, and it always causes tension because it creates limits that feel powerful since they reach the level of survival (I recognize what I am not and is not a part of my group), but in fact are still rather arbitrary and keep one from seeing much greater perspectives.

Each animal's or insect's brain can only process so much, and eye placement and structure can determine this just as much as higher functioning such as language and the use of tools. I think the OP recognized a response as a human animal, with the cognitive abilities of a human animal, and folks are also relating to the post as human animals. The topic is complex, fascinating, and inherently full of tension.

 

[Khyber]

Again you seem to have misinterpreted my post. I wasn't asking for equality in life or death. I'm simply stating a fact that I and other people including the media value the lives of the 'beautiful' more than the 'normal' or the 'ugly', even in death. Therefore, I need to look at my own values. For me feeling sad about someone taking their own life is more about the sadness that life was so shit for them that they felt they had no other option. Not a sadness that somebody has died.

Could you also please explain how exactly I was being a hypocrite?

 

[Pupu]

This also wasn't a thread about everyone being equal as unfortunately we're not and life isn't fair. However, everyone's death by suicide should be equally sad.

Well, then it must be my poor English that doesn't let me understand these sentences. I don't want to derail this thread with people giving me some grammar lessons but this is how I understood this:
"This thread was not about equality of life -> It is about asking beautiful people to share their experience of wanting to ctb and so, since life's unfairness doesn't look person's ugliness or beatifulness". But
"We're not and life isn't fair." You state a fact.
"However, everyone's death by suicide should be equally sad." To me it just sounds like you wished things to be different in this point and not in that situation when they were still alive. You explained it more clearly for me on your post now.


And about being a hypocrite I just meant that you realised by yourself the collision between what you hope (all people/suicides to be equal) and how you feel. I didn't mean it as harsh you took it since it is more like good thing to notice things like that. You can't change how you feel but you can change your actions. There are lots of people who doesn't realise that collision and that's why they also act out from their feelings that treats people/suicides unfairly. But it is still sad people feel like this. And it is one of the reasons why I want to ctb. Maybe it is one reason why I came up harshly, since I'm of course looking at these things from my side and I've been diagnesed with pretty black and white thinking anyway. So what @GoodPersonEffed said I'm an extreme example of it.

 

[ForensicallyAware]

I was very depressed when I did not care about my looks or thought I was handsome.

As I've aged I've lost what looks I had. I avoid mirrors. People do derive confidence and happiness from being good looking just look at how many people go under the knife.

I'm not looking for a relationship as I've grown to dislike people.
Maybe I'd feel different if I considered myself handsome.

What I do know is that the mind can absolutely torture you over your looks.

It is extraordinarily cruel . I don't understand attractive people who have extreme mental issues but I wouldn't deny their issues are very real to them.

 

[Khyber]

Well, then it must be my poor English that doesn't let me understand these sentences. I don't want to derail this thread with people giving me some grammar lessons but this is how I understood this:
"This thread was not about equality of life -> It is about asking beautiful people to share their experience of wanting to ctb and so, since life's unfairness doesn't look person's ugliness or beatifulness". But
"We're not and life isn't fair." You state a fact.
"However, everyone's death by suicide should be equally sad." To me it just sounds like you wished things to be different in this point and not in that situation when they were still alive. You explained it more clearly for me on your post now.


And about being a hypocrite I just meant that you realised by yourself the collision between what you hope (all people/suicides to be equal) and how you feel. I didn't mean it as harsh you took it since it is more like good thing to notice things like that. You can't change how you feel but you can change your actions. There are lots of people who doesn't realise that collision and that's why they also act out from their feelings that treats people/suicides unfairly. But it is still sad people feel like this. And it is one of the reasons why I want to ctb. Maybe it is one reason why I came up harshly, since I'm of course looking at these things from my side and I've been diagnesed with pretty black and white thinking anyway. So what @GoodPersonEffed said I'm an extreme example of it.

No probs. I misinterpret posts and text messages all the time, as it's very difficult just reading words without intonation, nonverbal communication etc. We all use language differently too. Thank you for clarifying.

 

[muffin222]

It is extraordinarily cruel . I don't understand attractive people who have extreme mental issues but I wouldn't deny their issues are very real to them.

I'm going to tread lightly with my response because I don't want to sound combative or hostile or as if I'm targeting anyone in particular for their opinions. I know we're all entitled to them, after all :)



I'm just wondering, what exactly is there to not understand? In my own personal experience, I grew up in a dysfunctional environment where I subject to near daily abuse, beatings, and verbal violence, as well as neglect. This trauma caused my brain to develop in abnormal ways, hence the mental health issues. It seems cut and dry to me. My physical appearance was completely coincidental in all of this. Yes, I grew up to be "conventionally attractive", but my brain development was skewed as a response to trauma during my childhood. No amount of good looks or any other external factor in adulthood can possibly make up for that. It's essentially a form of "brain damage," you could say, to be subjected to abuse while your brain is still developing. A child's brain doesn't develop as it should. This has lifelong, detrimental consequences on all levels for a person even into adulthood

When I was still working, I met plenty of beautiful girls and women who had similar upbringings, some exponentially worse. They suffered mentally as a result. There you have it

I admit I do get triggered by this topic somewhat because of personal experiences I've had outside of this forum. It's indeed a very complex issue.

 

[dandan]

Totally get it, my early years were with a father who was aggressive, and during twenty years i was depressed... finally out of it.... and because of meds, drugs probably too much, pills, x, cocaine, free base, cough syrup, lsd, psychodellics, plus two bumps in the head due to 2 near fatal car crashes, and ECT , my brain definitely cant be 'normal' , I'm thankful for Testosterone and dianabol hope they don't fuck me up, which certainly it will have died effects too.

So I'm pretty, so what , that dont mean I function properly. Look at Johnny Depp's ex wife , hahaha just saw a video and heard audio today about it today, pretty but fucked up.

Plus I'm loosing my good looks damm , I'm certainly used to it, but I rather be cool and had a nice social attitude and learned to dialogue and have friends.

 

[deltaofvenus]

Hmm, I don't consider myself beautiful, but I think I can offer some insight. I find it difficult trying to judge my looks. I consider myself average, but one time some friends of mine wanted to upload our photos to this website that judges your attractiveness. I think my average score was 8.2 or something. Maybe people were just being nice though.

I have autism and have realized over the years that I am a perfect target for abusers. I don't trust anyone now, so I am not at risk of being duped again. I made a vow to be celibate for the rest of my life. I'm going on two years.

So, if I am indeed a "pretty girl", with the added vulnerability and naivety of having autism, that is attractive to a lot of people. A pretty girl that can be manipulated= a great prize. I have dealt with loneliness my entire life. I have never in my life had someone that loved me unconditionally. Not my parents, not my friends, not lovers. While this isn't the reason for me wanting to die, it certainly doesn't help that I have zero support or love. I'm chronically ill, trying to get out of an abusive marriage.

With this said, the social conditioning in me is very strong. Even though I logically know the things I just stated, there have been times I thought "if only I were beautiful, I could be loved!" But time has shown me that this is not true, and might be the opposite of the truth. The older I get, the more unattractive I make myself to others. Not dressing well, not wearing makeup, not making myself presentable. And I'm happier this way.

I hope that gives some insight. It's a great question, and I find the topic very interesting!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I don't understand attractive people who have extreme mental issues but I wouldn't deny their issues are very real to them.

A person who is homeless sees someone who lives in a house that is utter squalor. It offers more protection from the elements, but has its own serious issues, from the foundation to the roof, infested with vermin, filthy water, broken windows, break-ins, gang members for neighbors.

The person who is homeless says, "I don't understand how someone can have extreme issues with a house but I wouldn't deny their issues are very real to them."

It reads to me as passive-aggressive. Why not ball up and say they're not really suffering, that they're both entitled and ignorant of their own lived experience? Why deny that you're denying as you're denying?

II think your shit hurts so much that for you, for now, nothing can compare, and how dare it for comparing. How dare it not show you sympathy, and in fact expect empathy? How dare it not acknowledge it stepped on your teeter-totter on your playground and try to weigh as much as your side if not more, even though it didn know there's even a teeter-totter or a playground? I think you want to lash out and sting another, and attempt to plausibly deny there was any such intent, let alone that blood was drawn. I'm sorry that you hurt so much. I'm sorry you hurt back.


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I think this thread unintentionally brought up shit for people on either end of the beautiful spectrum, and there are attacks (passive and otherwise) about and against beauty when the point of the thread is that the OP himself is having a strong reaction -- not response, but reaction -- to beautiful people and saying the balance in a specific situation is skewed.

Wtf, it's like this thread is pro-beauty vs. anti-beauty and acting like either side ever had any choice about it. It's as bad as trying to have a productive conversation with a pro-lifer who wants to be deaf to any other point of view.