Discussion Beautiful people

[Khyber]

Just been reading the post 'Faces of Suicide'. I find it particularly sad when I see photos of a beautiful woman who's killed herself compared to other people. I struggle to understand why somebody so good looking would do that as they could have anything they want. I know that mental health and life don't discriminate, but also have this deep core belief that good looks and being desired are the way to happiness (for me anyway). Social media just confirms these views as the better looking you are the more attention you get. I feel bad having this view as I want to believe that every life is equal and the world is a fair place, but unfortunately it isn't.

Is anyone here really beautiful? How does that impact your mental health and suicidal thoughts?

Ps. Not a dating thread!ha

 

[pole]

everyone's different at the end of the day.

we all have our own emotions and go through our own pain and suffering. unfortunately, no level of love and attention that's based on a person's looks will completely heal a person's scars. we'll still feel empty.

if anything, being really good looking is tragic in itself. people will always see good-looking people as people that can't go through shit because there so beautiful, and they won't be valued and understood as greatly as the next person because of such perceptions we hold. they'll feel invalidated, and alone, even in a room full of people.

being good-looking doesn't protect you from pain and suffering, nor does it make any of what a person goes through any easier.

 

[watereyes]

I remember being told once that I was 'too hot to die', or 'how can you be depressed?? you're so hot.'
Come on, it's a bit deeper than that. I do like my looks but it doesn't make life any more meaningful.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Just been reading the post 'Faces of Suicide'. I find it particularly sad when I see photos of a beautiful woman who's killed herself compared to other people. I struggle to understand why somebody so good looking would do that as they could have anything they want. I know that mental health and life don't discriminate, but also have this deep core belief that good looks and being desired are the way to happiness (for me anyway). Social media just confirms these views as the better looking you are the more attention you get. I feel bad having this view as I want to believe that every life is equal and the world is a fair place, but unfortunately it isn't.

Is anyone here really beautiful? How does that impact your mental health and suicidal thoughts?

Ps. Not a dating thread!ha

There are several beautiful girls here but I blocked most of them.

Currently I am drinking to feel some sort of "happiness" while girls can get that through validation on social media I can´t because I am an average looking small male so drugs is the only way to increase the happy hormones in the brain. But I also do know like you said mental illness doesn´t discriminate so if they are feeling extreme mental pain that is the answer but otherwise I will stick to my aformentioned comment about it.

 

[Pryras]

Beauty really is subjective so it's different for everyone. A supermodel who's name escapes me once said that top models are some of the most insecure people in the world. When your looks are at the forefront of your career then you're definitely going to feel self conscious and be treated as just a "pretty face"....the same could be said for millionaires. Money can solve a lot of issues, but it doesn't necessarily guarantee happiness.

Also, I'm not considered "beautiful" in a long-shot, so no. I've had men approach me saying I look awful, and I've had a few who think I'm attractive. As someone with body dysmorphic disorder it can be confusing, but my point is that everyone goes through their own trauma. Being conventionally attractive doesn't make you immune to that.

 

[dandan]

I look good, and looked even better when younger, I'm 37 male.
And I would say to the people posting, if you are NOT good looking, your opinion is not welcomed. LoL , just kidding.

Good looking does helps, I broke a 20 years depression period and two beautiful girls liked me, it was good. One left after 1st sex
2nd girl no sex, it was a nice 3month relationship until I told her I just ended a 20year depression period, she left and dated other guy.

Being good looking is cool, cant deny it.
But I've spent 20 damn years trying to feel good, with doctors and many shitty treatments, even ECT, drugs, whatever!! It kind of irritates me now.

It turned out to be low Testosterone, fuck you dad!! He never even fucking helped me or believed me....

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Beauty really is subjective so it's different for everyone. A supermodel who's name escapes me once said that top models are some of the most insecure people in the world. When your looks are at the forefront of your career then you're definitely going to feel self conscious and be treated as just a "pretty face"....the same could be said for millionaires. Money can solve a lot of issues, but it doesn't necessarily guarantee happiness.

I know this is true, and I know that one shouldn't invalidate others' experiences or pain, nor play gate-keeper re: what counts as 'bad enough'...

At the same time though I find it really galling to read about these things. Its ok for the supermodels to talk abnout their insecurities, but when I try to share in my own insecurities and experiences I just get invalidated.

I'm fat and hideous and nearly 40. Nobody has ever wanted me. If I try to talk about it people just gaslight me about my own lived experiences - like its just *impossible* for anyone to be that ugly and undesirable. NOONE could be that much of a loser, you must just be making it up, RIGHT?!

I feel like I'm *SO* ugly I don't even meet the minimum requirement for being ugly. I dont even count as being a person.

 

[lymestolemylife]

Just been reading the post 'Faces of Suicide'. I find it particularly sad when I see photos of a beautiful woman who's killed herself compared to other people. I struggle to understand why somebody so good looking would do that as they could have anything they want. I know that mental health and life don't discriminate, but also have this deep core belief that good looks and being desired are the way to happiness (for me anyway). Social media just confirms these views as the better looking you are the more attention you get. I feel bad having this view as I want to believe that every life is equal and the world is a fair place, but unfortunately it isn't.

Is anyone here really beautiful? How does that impact your mental health and suicidal thoughts?

Ps. Not a dating thread!ha

I used to be beautiful. I was a model. Over the past few years i've been loosing my looks fast to my illness. lost lots of hair, just don't look as pretty and healthy as I used to. It's rough it haunts me. Its a huge loss.

 

[Jumper Geo]

Glad I am inspiring new threads, you could have given me a like at least, unfortunately no matter how beautiful a person is there could be 100's of reason why they ctb, exactly why average people ctb and plus there could be hereditary mental illness in the family.

Does mental illness run in families?

Sometimes there are a few people in a family who have a mental illness. But other times there is only one person. This information looks at whether mental illness runs in families.

www.rethink.org

Cheers

Geo

 

[a.n.kirillov]

they could have anything they want

They might have things you want and can't have, but the human organism is not designed to be satisfied, ever. Dissatisfaction is the default state.

 

[Khyber]

There are several beautiful girls here but I blocked most of them.

Currently I am drinking to feel some sort of "happiness" while girls can get that through validation on social media I can´t because I am an average looking small male so drugs is the only way to increase the happy hormones in the brain. But I also do know like you said mental illness doesn´t discriminate so if they are feeling extreme mental pain that is the answer but otherwise I will stick to my aformentioned comment about it.

How come you blocked them?

Agreed that a good looking female can get the validation on social media. Though it would be interesting to know what sort of impact that has on mental health. Particularly for girls using the subscription sites, and the guys that pay for them. I imagine that it could be detrimental in the long-term as there must be a lot of pressure and constant competition to deal with. Plus popularity will probably fade when the looks do which must be quite difficult too.

I'm an average looking male so no experience of the above!ha Though I do have one good looking male friend who does get a lot of attention on social media. However, most of the attention he gets seems to be from straight men.

Glad I am inspiring new threads, you could have given me a like at least, unfortunately no matter how beautiful a person is there could be 100's of reason why they ctb, exactly why average people ctb and plus there could be hereditary mental illness in the family.

Does mental illness run in families?

Sometimes there are a few people in a family who have a mental illness. But other times there is only one person. This information looks at whether mental illness runs in families.

www.rethink.org

Cheers

Geo

Sorry Geo, I should have done! I just didn't want to be involved in the debate about the donations.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

How come you blocked them?

Because they get enough validation and affection as it is so a 9/10 girl having a picture of herself on a sucide forum is just insulting she is just seeking further validating and it is pure vanity she loves her looks so much that even suicidal people have to look at her and be jealous, there are even males on this forum who wants to ctb because they can´t get any physical attention from females yet the girls have to put salt in the wound of these males.

Agreed that a good looking female can get the validation on social media. Though it would be interesting to know what sort of impact that has on mental health.

It boost mental health I have a perfect meme for that I might post soon basically saying a man feels good for the one good comment he got a year ago while females get 100 a day.

 

[Khyber]

I know this is true, and I know that one shouldn't invalidate others' experiences or pain, nor play gate-keeper re: what counts as 'bad enough'...

At the same time though I find it really galling to read about these things. Its ok for the supermodels to talk abnout their insecurities, but when I try to share in my own insecurities and experiences I just get invalidated.

I'm fat and hideous and nearly 40. Nobody has ever wanted me. If I try to talk about it people just gaslight me about my own lived experiences - like its just *impossible* for anyone to be that ugly and undesirable. NOONE could be that much of a loser, you must just be making it up, RIGHT?!

I feel like I'm *SO* ugly I don't even meet the minimum requirement for being ugly. I dont even count as being a person.

Nobody should be made to feel like that so I'm sorry to hear that you do. That's the thing about it that if you're good looking more people seem to care. Or at least that's the impression I kind of have.

I remember seeing a Jim Carey quote around how money and fame aren't the answer and if only everyone could experience it so that we know. Granted he doesn't have the looks but I suppose very few of us will ever find out if he's right.

 

[Pryras]

Because they get enough validation and affection as it is so a 9/10 girl having a picture of herself on a sucide forum is just insulting she is just seeking further validating and it is pure vanity she loves her looks so much that even suicidal people have to look at her and be jealous, there are even males on this forum who wants to ctb because they can´t get any physical attention from females yet the girls have to put salt in the wound of these males.

It boost mental health I have a perfect meme for that I might post soon basically saying a man feels good for the one good comment he got a year ago while females get 100 a day.

I get you but I think a lot of the profile photos are fake. Not saying it doesn't happen though for the reasons you mentioned. I did post a photo of myself when I started, but it was merely to give a face to my posts. When you're close to CTB your boundaries get skewed and privacy isn't always a top priority.

 

[Khyber]

Because they get enough validation and affection as it is so a 9/10 girl having a picture of herself on a sucide forum is just insulting she is just seeking further validating and it is pure vanity she loves her looks so much that even suicidal people have to look at her and be jealous, there are even males on this forum who wants to ctb because they can´t get any physical attention from females yet the girls have to put salt in the wound of these males.

I'd be wary of anyone posting their photo on here no matter what they looked like as you've no idea who you're talking to.

Sorry TheGoodGuy not sure how I managed to add my bit to your post. I'm pretty new to this.

 

[GoBack]

I used to be pretty. I had no idea though untill it was too late, being abused from childhood wel into adulthood and then stress and insomnia and addictions has taken care of that

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I get you but I think a lot of the profile photos are fake. Not saying it doesn't happen though for the reasons you mentioned. I did post a photo of myself when I started, but it was merely to give a face to my posts. When you're close to CTB your boundaries get skewed and privacy isn't always a top priority.

I get that part although not sure why maybe we wanna be remembered by our appearances and not just random people on the internet it just bothers me when hot people people sign up and instantly upload a photo of themselves and what I didn´t mention is that they get several followers in 1-2 days JUST because of their looks and it pisses me off, it´s fine people wanna follow you but it should be by your content not by your looks.

I used to be pretty. I had no idea though untill it was too late, being abused from childhood wel into adulthood and then stress and insomnia and addictions has taken care of that

I used to be too in my mid teens now I look like shit.

 

[tom90]

People often told me that I'm handsome. But I don't believe that crap, I have mirrors at home and I can see myself, I'm not blind.

 

[Cloudy]

Just been reading the post 'Faces of Suicide'. I find it particularly sad when I see photos of a beautiful woman who's killed herself compared to other people. I struggle to understand why somebody so good looking would do that as they could have anything they want. I know that mental health and life don't discriminate, but also have this deep core belief that good looks and being desired are the way to happiness (for me anyway). Social media just confirms these views as the better looking you are the more attention you get. I feel bad having this view as I want to believe that every life is equal and the world is a fair place, but unfortunately it isn't.

Is anyone here really beautiful? How does that impact your mental health and suicidal thoughts?

Ps. Not a dating thread!ha

Why this emphasis on beautiful women? Why do you think they could have anything they want? Our society definitely isn't fair, but personally I don't think beauty is such an important factor over gender/race/class

 

[mote]

People say I'm 'beautiful'. People stalk me and ask me out. I think I am too. Narcissistic, even. I think my beauty is unconventionally so, and probably not what comes to mind at the mention of 'beautiful women'. I look more like a pretty French woman, because I'm predominantly French.

But it's not part of how I feel about life and this messed up world. My looks won't change a thing. Love never changed a thing, in fact- 'love' has only made me feel more animosity towards humans. I don't want 'love'. I don't know if anything could save me at this point. I'm so jaded to humanity and life as a whole.

 

[AcornUnderground]

I really was beautiful. I was told that my whole life and I don't think I went a day after 14 without a boyfriend. My illness took my looks. It is very hard to go from beautiful to not beautiful when you relied on it your whole life. I didn't realize until my looks were taken how much of my identity was tied to that.

 

[Tintypographer]

I don't think any level of "success", "beauty", "control", "accomplishment", or "fame" can be any indicator of a level of mental and emotional health. While it is true that a person who is very wealthy may not have the stresses of debt or procuring good food and good healthcare and a person who is considered on an attractiveness scale to be "very attractive" would not have as much trouble meeting and finding opportunities for romance, the scope of mental and emotional trauma that leads to depression and suicidal ideation is like cancer or any other disease, it doesn't select by any type of discrimination. We can see this in isolated cases of success with famous people like Kate Spade or Anthony Bourdain or otherw who have attractive personalities, successful businesses and outward life's that others idolize.

I think that anyone suffering from mental and emotional depression and abuse deserves sympathy and I genuinely feel for them hurting.

 

[Khyber]

Why this emphasis on beautiful women? Why do you think they could have anything they want? Our society definitely isn't fair, but personally I don't think beauty is such an important factor over gender/race/class

I suppose it's just what I've learned from my own experiences and the beliefs that I've formed about the world. You're right as those other factors are very important too. I just feel that good looks can probably overcome any of those issues. Although it raises it's own issues in relation to power, control, sexual abuse etc.

 

[GoBack]

Looks mean fuck all anyway. I got abused young which destroyed my confidence so for most of my life I attracted more abusive people. I was lucky to have some good men in my life but could never take it further than friendship because I was so damaged an untrusting deep down.

So even when I met the right one s, I just didn't know how to be in a healthy relationship so I messed it up.

 

[Khyber]

People often told me that I'm handsome. But I don't believe that crap, I have mirrors at home and I can see myself, I'm not blind.

I get told the same, and most people say I've got better with age (I have lost a bit of weight). Thing is that the compliments don't come from the people I'd like them from ie. People I know and not the beautiful girl in the gym or in the shop. Guess it's insatiable need that'll never be met for one reason or another.

 

[terry_a_davis]

I'm most definitely not beautiful now and never have been beautiful, I think truly beautiful people are rare irl, i've met a handful of people i considered to be beautiful. They mostly seemed to have decent lives, one girl was a bit messed up through drugs.

Years ago I was in really good physical shape through working out and often got complimented on it and was told I was 'good looking' etc. The compliments felt great tbh but I never truly believed it and wasn't happy with myself, that's what motivated me to workout in the first place and I kept at it until I got ill. When I got high I felt good about myself but only then.

Life was much better then. I had good jobs, friends, hobby, social life, partner. Looks probably did have a positive effect on some of this.

 

[Jumper Geo]

How come you blocked them?

Agreed that a good looking female can get the validation on social media. Though it would be interesting to know what sort of impact that has on mental health. Particularly for girls using the subscription sites, and the guys that pay for them. I imagine that it could be detrimental in the long-term as there must be a lot of pressure and constant competition to deal with. Plus popularity will probably fade when the looks do which must be quite difficult too.

I'm an average looking male so no experience of the above!ha Though I do have one good looking male friend who does get a lot of attention on social media. However, most of the attention he gets seems to be from straight men.

Sorry Geo, I should have done! I just didn't want to be involved in the debate about the donations.

No worries I was joking but that's part of the parcel you start one topic and it spirals out of control and ends up a totally different topic, lol

Cheers

Geo

 

[Enterthevoid]

I feel like I'm *SO* ugly I don't even meet the minimum requirement for being ugly. I dont even count as being a person.

See, I feel that exact same way, yet I am a "conventionally"?? attractive 22 year old woman. Mental illness, insecurity, self hatred, etc. really do not discriminate.

---
This thread is lowkey making my blood boil lol, holy hell my mind is a trainwreck and in all of the turmoil I have not once thought about my physical appearance let alone been comforted by it.

I guess I'm pretty, or whatever? I mean, I have a partner and when I used to post on social media have always gotten a decent amount of attention... But I really can't comprehend how anyone could think that would contribute to someone's mental wellbeing, especially a pervasive mental illness. I deal with paranoia, delusions, reality breaks, psychosis, depersonalization/derealization, social phobia, BPD, and severe depression - someone could be the most objectively beautiful person in the world and any one of these things would still make life hell.

In my opinion, it's something I don't like about myself. Because I experience a deep sense of self loathing, it always feels like there is a disconnect between my inner and outer worlds. For example, I have pushed my husband away completely to the point that he sleeps in our basement because I can't get a grip on my mental illness and don't feel that I deserve to... I feel like if he could see me for who I really am he would hate me, be disgusted, never want to be with me etc. At this point I'm not interested in discerning whether these thoughts are delusions or not. It has absolutely nothing to do with physical appearance. Real people don't care about that stuff. And it's kind of insulting to hear that someone thinks something so shallow could bring peace of mind to someone in pain.

I guess I should thank you though as the "blood boiling" is the first thing I've felt in a while haha

 

[BPD Barbie]

Because they get enough validation and affection as it is so a 9/10 girl having a picture of herself on a sucide forum is just insulting she is just seeking further validating and it is pure vanity she loves her looks so much that even suicidal people have to look at her and be jealous, there are even males on this forum who wants to ctb because they can´t get any physical attention from females yet the girls have to put salt in the wound of these males.

Ouch. That hurt.

 

[Tintypographer]

I don't think it's narcissistic or a self loathing trait to worry about being alone, need validation from someone or wonder "what's wrong with me" when we need a connection. I think people are wired for that connection from birth and when it goes wrong I think that our bodies and brains respond with stress, anxiety and ultimately depression that can then manifest as a disease, self loathing and suicidal ideation. Attractive or not, assuming there is even a verifiable measure of what constitutes attractive, we feel a gap and we link that to being unattractive and self loathing and shame and then ibto a depressive spiral and stress.

And if it were easy to fix I think the incidence of depression would be lower than it is. It's not the only cause but it is at least one and likely a contributor to many peoples depression.

So it's not a bad trait like a personality disorder to feel bad, question your worth and even have self loathing. It says you're human. But that's dosent mean the self loathing is not a bad thing like heart disease is a bad thing. It's just not your specific choice and in your full control when so much is in your emotions and thoughts.