Thisiscertainlyause
for the night is dark and full of terrors
- Sep 27, 2024
- 38
I was out for awhile, I had gotten alot better(?) sorta, I got back with my ex, which was admittedly not a great idea since neither of us had really grown or changed at all, now we're back to being complicated, but I don't think I'll be able to go back, the biggest thing for me before was feeling safe with her, that she was the one person I loved more than anything and who loved me back, but she's gotten just, meaner and I don't really feel emotionally safe around her anymore, I don't feel like she loves me the way she did before. I haven't trusted my family for a long time, I'm bi and that'd be enough for them to be cold towards me the rest of my life if they found out. I started volunteering at an animal shelter thinking that'd help, bring me some sort of purpose or what not, it didn't really, I love the animals and I've gotten attached to one of the dogs that's been there for awhile, but he'll get adopted eventually and I think that'll just hurt me more.. I think, weirdly, this is my last haven, the only place I've been where everyone has something in common and you know what to expect, as grim as that commonality is. This might finally be my last flicker, like an animal finding a safe place to die(or is that a myth? I don't know). I still have the rope I got awhile ago at least, maybe I can get partial to work for me this time round.
