back to square one - the drawing board

[hi-okbye]

*sigh*
back here, again.
if anyone has any ideas or suggestions please share it would be very helpful :)

limitations:
- i can only leave my house to ctb at night.
- there is no place close enough that i can jump from.
- there is a little alcohol in my house, not too much though (might change after the holiday).
- i have access to medications such as: diabetes medication, muscle relaxants, some sleep drugs, antidepressants, heart medications, regular otc painkillers, etc. (i'm getting a new medication soon and it might be an anti-psychotic, should i push for it? is there anything i could use that for?)
- i have access to a car (not for driving, more like poison gas methods), but it can't be wrecked.
- i have train tracks near my house, although i'm really trying to avoid that method
- i have sturdy trees near-by
- i have bodies of water near-by
- i don't have too much money, and if i'm going to spend it i need a reliable source.
- getting stuff sent to my home would be difficult since there are people that live with me, i've done it before though.

methods i've been considering (if you have any to add please do):
- taking opioids and jumping into a lake/the ocean. i tried it once, failed, but i was considering trying it again. i feel it could've worked if i had just taken more, which i really regret not doing. it's sitting in a bag by the lake, i'm not sure if anything happened to it though. if i go there one night, and it's not there, i was considering bringing a rope and just hanging from a hidden tree near-by. i was wondering if there were any other backups i could easily bring with me.
- hanging, the only thing i don't like about this method is that if i do it in my home i don't want to traumatize the people who find me, they probably wont listen to any signs. i was considering doing it outside though, how reliable would it be?
- CO, if i did it in a car, would it mess the car up?
- i was considering trying shallow water blackout, or inhaling a type of gas, and passing out into water.
- giving myself a natural deadly disease, i really want to do this, but chances i've realized are very low.

thanks <3

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

- giving myself a natural deadly disease, i really want to do this, but chances i've realized are very low.

How would you go about this, sounds hellish to me. Would not recommend

Hanging
SI can be strong here esp with partial
You need to practise to get used to the processs
But you have access to sleep meds which can cause drowsiness - but be cautious you might pass out before you attempt
I've seen people recommend alcohol-just don't be sober
You can either cover up like they do with death row hangings even forced to be at home or better yet use the sturdy trees around
There's a thread recommending how to wrap the ligature around the rope

If you have any questions please don't hesitate but I'm no expert either I just failed a bunch of times

 

[hi-okbye]

How would you go about this, sounds hellish to me. Would not recommend

i'm not entirely sure, i've kinda scraped the idea. i know it would probably be painful but i would take it just so my death could look natural i guess.

Hanging
SI can be strong here esp with partial
You need to practise to get used to the processs
But you have access to sleep meds which can cause drowsiness - but be cautious you might pass out before you attempt
I've seen people recommend alcohol-just don't be sober
You can either cover up like they do with death row hangings even forced to be at home or better yet use the sturdy trees around
There's a thread recommending how to wrap the ligature around the rope

i've tried it a few times too but i'm pretty sure i did it wrong/in a weird way. i'm not hesitant to try again. thank you for the advice

If you have any questions please don't hesitate but I'm no expert either I just failed a bunch of times

thank you! could i ask what those experiences were like? (if you feel comfortable sharing)

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

i'm not entirely sure, i've kinda scraped the idea. i know it would probably be painful but i would take it just so my death could look natural i guess.

Sorry for the late reply

Something natural
What about pretend you're going camping and use CO

Results from failed partial suspension

Overcoming SI
Don't be sober if you struggle with SI
I took sleeping pills

Or try to get used to the high
But I didn't feel a high

Ligature width
I thought wider was better
Cause I didn't need extra padding
All I did was pass out and woke up convulsing

Later on
I built a rope from fabric
And I ensured it was the width of a finger
I thought it would be suspicious to buy rope

Jugular Vs Carotid
I never practised finding my sweet spot
So in the beginning
I would compress the Jugular veins
And end up feeling like my head was about to explode

Once I found my sweet spot
Even though I failed
I did not experience much discomfort
But my neck was a bit sore

Difference between Full and Partial
I failed because of my ligature position

Full suspension
Ligature should be around two finger widths above your Adams apple
Use a scarf or whatever to find your sweet spot
You should feel like your passing out

Partial suspension
Ligature should be around two finger widths below your Adams apple
Again look for that sweet spot

Extra(From watching state issued hangings)
Hood over my head
Find a way to tie my legs and restrict my hands to reduce noise - still researching this

 

[tinyghost]

hanging is definitely the most reliable of the methods you have access too. antipsychotic are some of the safest drugs to od on so don't bother with that. its so frustrating how difficult it is.... but im glad youre still around for what its worth

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

There's a thread recommending how to wrap the ligature around the rope

Here's a guide: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/trees-to-use-for-hanging-from-a-tree-expert.76256/

 

[hi-okbye]

@CouldaHvBeenARock thank you!! i appreciate the information you gave me a lot i definitely will look into it since it'll have to be my backup and i want to be able to do it, especialy since i'll be high if i do it, it'll be harder. thank you <33

hanging is definitely the most reliable of the methods you have access too. antipsychotic are some of the safest drugs to od on so don't bother with that. its so frustrating how difficult it is.... but im glad youre still around for what its worth

thank you for the info <3
i agree, i appreciate your words too