I have a ton of bupropion from failed medication trial that I always wonder about but everyone says that's a terrible way to attempt. I guess I could buy a gun pretty easily but I feel too shy for all of that. Maybe I will if I really can't find a place to live. I think about getting drunk or the bupropion and hanging myself though. I can't find a place to live. I still have until July but I have nothing to fall back on, no friends, no family to live with if I have nowhere to live. I might have to get rid of my dog. My dog is a massive hurdle to finding a new place but he's all I fucking have lol. I have no in person friends and im in an LDR with no visit date planned (driving me fucking crazy I'm so lonely), like there's really nothing but my dog. I don't even really see my therapist anymore because work and transportation issues.
On top of everything I don't know how I'm going to work anymore. I never work enough I never make enough money for rent and for vet visits and for insurance and for simple necessities. I just don't know how any of this is worth it. I'm alone every day and can't afford anything. Every time I think about how I have no one to fall back on I just want to kill myself. How can I have absolutely no one to fall back on? Everyone always acts like it's so easy too, like "just go to a shelter," like they're nice places with nice people in them ready to accommodate you, lol. I think we all know nothing is like that. There's no safety net if you are too depressed to work enough and have no family to help and keep slipping through the cracks. I think my entire life has been a failure and I want to call it quits already
On top of everything I don't know how I'm going to work anymore. I never work enough I never make enough money for rent and for vet visits and for insurance and for simple necessities. I just don't know how any of this is worth it. I'm alone every day and can't afford anything. Every time I think about how I have no one to fall back on I just want to kill myself. How can I have absolutely no one to fall back on? Everyone always acts like it's so easy too, like "just go to a shelter," like they're nice places with nice people in them ready to accommodate you, lol. I think we all know nothing is like that. There's no safety net if you are too depressed to work enough and have no family to help and keep slipping through the cracks. I think my entire life has been a failure and I want to call it quits already
