Venting Baby fever

[sserafim]

I'm an antinatalist but I've recently been struck with a case of baby fever. I find hapa kids cute and want to have one with a white guy. It makes me ashamed to want a kid because it goes against my morals and antinatalist views. I'm still a virgin though and it must be my hormones or something…

 

[BardBarrie]

A desire to reproduce is coded into our genes; from an evolutionary point of view it's the reason we exist.

So yeah, I'd say what you're feeling is normal.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I've never had baby fever before, probably because of my experiences with dealing with younger kids back when I used to babysit my brother, along with my time helping out kindergarteners in elementary and middle school. Babies and children are precious, but they are also loud, dirty, smelly, energetic, and kind of annoying. I still remember the awful stench of shit from back when my brother wasn't potty-trained and the feelings of disgust I would have while changing his diaper. The first time I babysat him was in elementary school. He was around 2 at the time and kept on running around and making a mess of the place no matter what I did. I ended up breaking down and crying out of frustration. I love my brother and I'm honestly thankful for him showing me how awful it would be to be a parent.

 

[derpyderpins]

I'm an antinatalist but I've recently been struck with a case of baby fever. It makes me ashamed to want a kid because it goes against my morals and antinatalist views. I'm still a virgin though and it must be my hormones or something…

On a day when you're frustrated with the lack of meaning in life you find yourself wanting what has historically given women the most meaning in their lives. Seems reasonable and natural. Rational or not, married women with children are the most satisfied (statistically). It's also healthy to occasionally reconsider your views.

I wish there was a term in-between antinatalist and natatlist, because it's so black and white. I'm pro "don't have kids unless you're fully prepared to give them a good life." Semi-natalist? Natalist-curious? idk.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

An infectious twist of hormones and biology. I've always hated kids, swore I'd never have them since I was four years old, and never felt a shred of maternal instinct. But after coming off Lexapro and the ensuing manic episode, I developed a bad case of baby fever. Can't say if it was due to being infatuated with someone at the same time or just a wonky reaction—maybe a bit of both. Interesting regardless.

I still get it occasionally, and bad, but it's purely emotional. In all rationality, I don't want to put my ills on a child, literally, and I'd be an unfit mother by definition. Yes, I would love to have my partner's child(ren), but I won't because it would go against my morals to traumatize a kid with my parenting, even an adopted one. Also, it'd further plummet my quality of life and remove suicide as a possibility, which is my current escape hatch "in case of emergency".

I admire cute kids from afar and sometimes let myself fantasize, but I keep the knowledge that it's just biologic conditioning in the end, and I must resist.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't know if this is a thing for men too but I often feel a similar way whenever I see babies and toddlers at my job or anywhere outside. Hurts especially when they're Asian or mixed with Asian babies because it's just a painful reminder that no matter how much I'd want that for myself, it probably wouldn't ever happen for me.

Even when it comes to the negatives of dealing with children like tantrums or stinky excrement, for some reason my mind feels like it would be easy enough to deal with because I already have had to do that sort of thing and act as a surrogate father for my 29 year old severely autistic sister. I hate dealing with her messes (which includes a lot of piss and shit) but I find myself unable to completely ignore her entirely. All the things that make her challenging to assist have already prepared me for what I imagine raising a baby might be like but then again I could just be wrong. At the very least, a baby is easier to pick up when they're trying to wander into danger than a grown adult woman is. Often I still do believe I would rather be doing this kind of work for my own children rather than having to do it for my sibling who has no hope of ever getting better. Maybe it's a rare bit of overconfidence on my part because I'm sure raising a child has some unique challenges from caregiving for an autistic adult.

Spoiler: Personal story feel free to ignore if you don't care

When I was in Taiwan last month I was asked to babysit my 12 year old cousin a lot but this was enjoyable to me too because he thinks I'm cool for all my accomplishments in Pokémon games. On the day before I was supposed to leave, he threw a really nasty public tantrum because he wanted to show me this really nice park and playground area but it rained so he thought it was over and he wouldn't get to show it to me. I let him cry it out and the next day the rain cleared up so even though I was about to leave in a few hours, I still made time to go to that park with him and it really was pretty cool but more importantly it was just nice to see how happy he was to spend time with me since he has no siblings, doesn't seem to have a lot of friends, and his dad is always busy working. His mom (my aunt) spends a lot of time with him but I guess he just likes me for the fact I play Pokémon and I'm just glad somebody does. I imagine having a kid in optimal circumstances might be just like this sometimes but maybe even better.

It sucks that I'll probably have to CTB anyway and potentially make him feel awful but it's not like he's my child and it's not like I'll ever get to have one anyway.

Anyway, I think as long as you can remind yourself to stick to your principles then you can weather out any baby fever if that's really what you want or don't want for yourself.

Of course minds and beliefs can change eventually like maybe you'll one day actually meet a literal Überchad who's white and that's so filthy rich that he'll save you from your overbearing parents so you can finally live your NEET life in peace and even if you have a kid you wouldn't have to deal with them either if you don't want to and thus the cycle continues. Or maybe this guy just had a vasectomy cause he doesn't want kids either.

 

[rozeske]

It is only natural to want to procreate. I'm not against the idea of having kids but i am against having one when you are not ready just to endup raising them in the worest way. If and when you decide to have one, please let there be a sound enough reason behind it that doesn't burn out with the reality and difficulty of raising a child. Make sure you are emotionally and economically ready.

 

[Pluto]

 

[fiora]

I was just talking about my baby fever today too, but I have no intentions on ever getting with a man

 

[derpyderpins]

I'm an antinatalist but I've recently been struck with a case of baby fever. I find hapa kids cute and want to have one with a white guy. It makes me ashamed to want a kid because it goes against my morals and antinatalist views. I'm still a virgin though and it must be my hormones or something…

Lol I just saw your comment about hapa kids. That shit is going to be the death of me because they are cute and that will certainly be used on me.

 

[whywere]

I'm an antinatalist but I've recently been struck with a case of baby fever. I find hapa kids cute and want to have one with a white guy. It makes me ashamed to want a kid because it goes against my morals and antinatalist views. I'm still a virgin though and it must be my hormones or something…

Yes, it is hormones, but also it is nature in itself. Continuance of the species.

Walter

 

[AmericanMary]

I alwaysss get baby fever around the time I ovulate lol. And then snap back to reality a few days later.

 

[thenamingofcats]

Try not to be hard on yourself, it's bc you're in your reproductive prime. That window will close and because you don't actually want a kid the feelings will stop.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Hormones are powerful. I used to extremely horny when younger. I am not joking. I couldn't finish college because of obsessive sex thoughts.
If you want to get it under the control a contraceptive pill could be an option.

 

[Havnis]

I did a little research and found that "baby fever" is a widely misunderstood, I don't know what you're feeling exactly but, women don't have biological innate nurturing instinct that only left Psychological and Social Factors or Life Events as tangible Factors that influence the desire for child. In other words hormones don't cause baby fever.

Hormones: While hormones play a role in bonding and attachment, they don't directly create a desire to have children. Oxytocin, often called the "love hormone," is associated with maternal behaviors, but it doesn't automatically lead to wanting children.

The concept of maternal instinct as an innate, automatic understanding of motherhood is largely considered a myth. While hormonal changes can influence feelings of nurturing, the ability to care for a child effectively comes from learning and bonding. Parents of all genders develop this intuition over time as they spend time with their child and learn their cues.

Research suggests that while hormones like Oxytocin are associated with bonding and maternal behaviors, they do not create an instinctive desire to have children Maternal instincts, as traditionally defined, are considered largely a myth. Parenting skills and the desire to care for a child often develop through experience and are not solely the result of innate biological responses

 

[KillingPain267]

Adopt one

 

[sserafim]

I did a little research and found that "baby fever" is a widely misunderstood, I don't know what you're feeling exactly but, women don't have biological innate nurturing instinct that only left Psychological and Social Factors or Life Events as tangible Factors that influence the desire for child. In other words hormones don't cause baby fever.

Hormones: While hormones play a role in bonding and attachment, they don't directly create a desire to have children. Oxytocin, often called the "love hormone," is associated with maternal behaviors, but it doesn't automatically lead to wanting children.

The concept of maternal instinct as an innate, automatic understanding of motherhood is largely considered a myth. While hormonal changes can influence feelings of nurturing, the ability to care for a child effectively comes from learning and bonding. Parents of all genders develop this intuition over time as they spend time with their child and learn their cues.

Research suggests that while hormones like Oxytocin are associated with bonding and maternal behaviors, they do not create an instinctive desire to have children Maternal instincts, as traditionally defined, are considered largely a myth. Parenting skills and the desire to care for a child often develop through experience and are not solely the result of innate biological responses

I can't tell if it's an urge to have sex or to procreate

Adopt one

I want a biological child though. It's like a desire to be creampied and bred

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I can't tell if it's an urge to have sex or to procreate

I want a biological child though. It's like a desire to be creampied and bred

In all seriousness tho you should probably delete some of this stuff. Like I'm no boy scout, but man. We've had newspaper-featured creeps on SS, just for context.

 

[derpyderpins]

I can't tell if it's an urge to have sex or to procreate

I want a biological child though. It's like a desire to be creampied and bred

Have you considered that it is a desire to completely trust and be completely vulnerable with someone? Right now you are wearing a mask all day trying to keep your mom happy.

 

[sserafim]

Have you considered that it is a desire to completely trust and be completely vulnerable with someone? Right now you are wearing a mask all day trying to keep your mom happy.

Nah, I think that it's just the desire to reproduce. It's ingrained into our biological programming and DNA. I don't want to completely trust and be completely vulnerable with someone. I blame biology and my brain for these desires

 

[derpyderpins]

Nah, I think that it's just the desire to reproduce. It's ingrained into our biological programming and DNA. I don't want to completely trust and be completely vulnerable with someone. I blame biology and my brain for these desires

Well, we're biologically social creatures as well. Either way it would be a craving contrary to what you think you want. But you're probably right. My bad.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Could be rooted in the idea that you don't feel needed. From your postings your rants about your mom seem to infer the idea that you feel anything but needed by her, based on all of the things you say she has said to you which, frankly, wouldn't convey to many that they are indeed needed, even wanted. The perception of not being needed is quite profound and could manifest itself, strongly, into desiring a child for one to take care of, to be needed by. There aren't many things on this earth more needy than a child. You very well could be seeking that feeling of need, to feel a purpose in life, to give your life meaning. It's good to feel needed.

 

[Optimu$]

I'm an antinatalist but I've recently been struck with a case of baby fever. I find hapa kids cute and want to have one with a white guy. It makes me ashamed to want a kid because it goes against my morals and antinatalist views. I'm still a virgin though and it must be my hormones or something…

This is called feeling broody and your biological clock is starting to tick faster because of your age and heightened fertility relative to 10 or more years from now where biologically you're starting to get on a bit as far as nature is concerned. However it feels I'm sure it'll pass, you only have to take it seriously if it doesn't or it's a recurring acute annoyance.
Unless your overall stance on life changes I definitely wouldn't recommend entertaining the idea of conception. @sserafim

Congrats on 8k posts btw, 10k isn't far away.

 

[escape_from_hell]

For real?
Damn.
And you have the rational awareness and resolve to be an antinatalist.
That's just how powerful biology is.
We are truly slaves to our nature aren't we?
If baby rabies hits even you, imagine how fucked we are at scale. The ouroboros will never be broken. We will gift hell to all for all eternity.