autism

[butterfly3]

everyone around me seems to misunderstand me and I'm always saying the wrong things. I also act so socially awkward and i end up embarrassing myself a lot in social situations. one of my friends is always constantly makes jokes about me having autism. at first I just saw it as a joke and laughed along but it continued and continued. i've sat her down and said I don't like it anymore and she apologised, but then continues to say it and joke about it even when I'm not there and around my other friends. it doesn't seem like a joke anymore. I've told family about it and they said that I might, especially with how much of a strange kid I was because of my attachment, sleep, anxiety, social issues and my body dysmorphia. i know autism isn't a bad thing but I can't help but just feel even more like something is inherently wrong with me. even if I don't have it, just the fact that people suspect that I do means that there's obviously things I do that doesn't fit the social norm.
it would explain why I'm so bad at social situations and I'm so behind at everything, like relationships. I'm 19 and have never even been close to a relationship, and at this point I don't think I will because I think I'm really off putting to others. but I'm coming to terms with being alone.

i've always been a weird, different person but I never suspected any learning disorders, especially autism. growing up I was always exposed to the stereotypical type of autism, so naturally I never suspected it in myself.

 

[ReversedNthTerm]

Relatable lol

 

[Starry✧･ﾟDaze]

Imho, it's not you that does sound off putting here. But the behavior of your friend.

If they apologized, but continue to tease and make fun of you, that's an obvious sign they don't respect and cherish you.
An apology is basically a lie, if they don't act on it and never change their behavior.

You deserve to be respected and loved, autistic or not. I'm very sorry you have to go through this.