I was autistic too, well I guess technically I still am, but guess what, I grew out of it. You need to try really hard to discover yourself, try to socialize with others by any means necessary, stop caring about what others think of you and basically build a strong sense of security over yourself. If you're brave enough to face suicide, then comparatively socializing with others should be a joke to you. I know that it's not a very healthy advice, but drink some alcohol sometimes, it'll boost your confidence 10 times. I'm not sure, maybe your autism was way worse than mine or maybe you don't know how to cope with it, but it's definitely "curable" in a sense that it's just all in your head, you just need to learn to suppress it.