Discussion “Attention seeking”

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah I've wondered this too. There was a girl in my elementary school who would say she was going to kill herself and a lot of things like that for a long time. People relentlessly bullied her, justifying it by saying that she was just doing it for attention. Apparently she was, and would smile when people turned away. It really creeped me out because I figured that even if she wasn't suicidal there must be some reason she was doing it. (I know it's different than an actual faked attempt but at least to me it raises similar questions)

It's such a difficult thing to determine isn't it? My earliest friend and I were suicidal from aged 10. We used to joke about it as a way to get through it I guess but underneath it all, I think we were both serious. Not that either of us did it (obviously) but I'm not sure that you ever really know. Almost seems scarier that someone would joke about it regularly and not mean it in a way.

 

[Idontmatter]

Trust me that you have to go to great great lengths to get accused of that here. Post as much as you can. It's free!

Well I just have to survive until July and then I'll be gone anyway unless a miracle happens and I feel better.

 

[Funeralprincess]

After recent things here… I'm curious where everyone stands on the topic of "attention seeking."

The notion that 'trying to get attention is a bad thing' is very prevalent in society. Yet, we all need attention. We just are supposed to pretend we don't. I think everyone on this forum is suicidal in part because they aren't receiving the attention they need most - be it love, worry/concern, compassion, understanding, connection, acceptance, etc. Correct me if I'm wrong.

That's what makes me so confused to see occasional comments here accusing and berating other users for seeking attention. Isn't that what we're all doing here on this forum? Trying to get our needs met that aren't being met irl? If you just needed info on a way to ctb, you'd have no need to engage a community, you'd just read the PPH. We're here for more than that and there's no shame in that.

Enlighten me with your opinion.

It is so annoying when people will label certain things as "attention seeking" specifically when it comes to mental health. Are there some people who use their illness for attention? Sure. But most of us aren't and most of us genuinely don't want to exist because our illness is like a bomb that decimates all the good in our lives. I think all of us here are supportive of each other and genuinely want to help one another and to me, that's not attention seeking; thats being a very much needed support system and we as people in pain deserve that

My sister heard about some guys train suicide and she was like, really you need so much attention you're going to inconvenience all these people just bc you want the attention so bad? And she said why else would someone do that besides a different method. I was like…. Bc trains can b very fatal lol. I was like… wtf… how can they get attention there sooo craving when they're dead lol. Idk how to cope with this bc I have thought of the train method early on before coming in here and seeing there are much less traumatizing ways for all parties. It really bothered me she thinks this, I think about ctb 24/7, I'm even ctb in my dreams almost every time I dream. What the f does the train method have to do with attention, you can't even see the people's reactions, and there is the classic occasional person that wants help and does a method that they know is less fatal. But train??? Idk maybe I'm just bias. But yeah it like disturbed me she thinks this it almost felt evil that she was concerned about people's days inconvenienced rather that someone having a very bad mental issue and outcome. I don't like feeling like my sister has a bad heart. Would she think I am just wanting attention if I ctb? Yes bc I can totally bask in attention when I, dead. I even sit in my room all day bc I love attention so much. Idk if this was some stranger I wouldn't think much of it I'd be like yeah some people are aholes. But my own sister?

Some people do seek attention when they just talk about being suicidal, however what she is failing to realize is that is such a SMALL number of people who do that and MOST people who are suicidal aren't just being open about it because they want attention. She needs to use her brain and maybe talk to the MAJORITY of people that are serious about those things rather than just seeing them all as attention seekers. In a way, that invalidates the very real and serious pain people are feeling

 

[its-about-time]

Sometimes I think about how if you do tell people you're feeling suicidal, then you're attention-seeking, if you back out of an attempt then it's a cry for help, and if you do just go ahead and ctb then they all want to know why you never said anything.

Excellently worded!

 

[clown_17]

I think whether you're bothered by attention seeking behaviour or not really comes down to how sensitive you are. If someone faked suicide on this site (said goodbye but didn't do anything) I think personally I wouldn't care much. Yes I would of said goodbye and told them I'm sorry life was cruel, but I wouldn't have been emotionally distraught to realize they had no intentions. While I did care and worry for them attempting, I guess I just don't hold a grudge realizing it wasn't true? I just assume everyone has their one reasons whether I understand them or not, and I guess I don't feel incredibly deeply so I wouldn't feel betrayed.

However it's another story when someone tries to gain something from a fake attempt. I don't consider that attention seeking, but manipulation instead. For example faking suicide to keep a lover from leaving you is 100% manipulation, and that's awful. It's a different thing than attention seeking imo

And when it comes to people who actually do attempt suicide "for attention," I don't see it as any less serious than an attempt motivated by something else. The fact that someone was so attention starved that they felt the need to try to kill themselves because of it indicates a high amount of distress which I can sympathize with. And besides, all humans need attention sometimes.

 

[depressedmaniac]

I think whether you're bothered by attention seeking behaviour or not really comes down to how sensitive you are. If someone faked suicide on this site (said goodbye but didn't do anything) I think personally I wouldn't care much. Yes I would of said goodbye and told them I'm sorry life was cruel, but I wouldn't have been emotionally distraught to realize they had no intentions. While I did care and worry for them attempting, I guess I just don't hold a grudge realizing it wasn't true? I just assume everyone has their one reasons whether I understand them or not, and I guess I don't feel incredibly deeply so I wouldn't feel betrayed.

However it's another story when someone tries to gain something from a fake attempt. I don't consider that attention seeking, but manipulation instead. For example faking suicide to keep a lover from leaving you is 100% manipulation, and that's awful. It's a different thing than attention seeking imo

And when it comes to people who actually do attempt suicide "for attention," I don't see it as any less serious than an attempt motivated by something else. The fact that someone was so attention starved that they felt the need to try to kill themselves because of it indicates a high amount of distress which I can sympathize with. And besides, all humans need attention sometimes.

Well the thing is some ppl are on here alot. for quite some time. getting close with other ppl. Making friends to the point they talk over phone or mail. or just pming alot on here. which would be hurtful to others at that point to fake cbt. Also alot of ppl said it upsets them if ppl make a goodbye post.
its manipulative to do it for attention.
if someone makes a post and changes their mind or cant go through with it no judgement. But just for attention is hurtful to others and manipulative.

 

[noaccount]

@Doombox you seem nice and sincere so I just thought I'd give you a heads up that this is what's going on here:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/attachments/1652150969806-png.92220/
@depressedmaniac whether anyone 'has bpd'
is hugely debatable.

 

[depressedmaniac]

whether anyone 'has bpd'
is hugely debatable.

I dont really understand what this means tbh. when did I claim someone had bpd? did i miss something?

@Doombox you seem nice and sincere so I just thought I'd give you a heads up that this is what's going on here:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/attachments/1652150969806-png.92220/
@depressedmaniac whether anyone 'has bpd'
is hugely debatable.

dont just address me tell me what u meant..
Oh i get it because i said r/bpd. it was an EXAMPLE. its like going to a hospital looking for attention. there are others there who have actual problems. I was getting mad LOL.

 

[come to dust]

Why would anyone want the attention from a "fake" suicide? All that will happen is that you get shamed, othered, and treated like a dodgy psycho by everyone around you.

 

[depressedmaniac]

hm no. goodbye threads get ALOT of likes and replies. I actually said I believe there is only like 10 percent of honest suicidal ppl on here. alot of others are just here for attention. and 1 year later it seems to be a discussion when I wasnt even on here. soo I mean.. im wasting my time getting into arguments again ugh..its hard not to..

 

[Doombox]

@Doombox you seem nice and sincere so I just thought I'd give you a heads up that this is what's going on here:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/attachments/1652150969806-png.92220/
@depressedmaniac whether anyone 'has bpd'
is hugely debatable.

I thank you while admitting I'm confused.

 

[depressedmaniac]

there are alot of threads with ppl asking method questions with 0 replies. Maybe we should try to help them instead of this bs we are doing rn. Im dead anyway so I dont care. Still though. would be more helpful I think..