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telekon

telekon

Specialist
Feb 5, 2025
397
Well I've been really depressed for about 6 months, and I decided yesterday I wanted to have a spiritual experience on magic mushrooms. I ate around 3.5g and it went really well. I think if you are going to do them therapeutically, you should have a bit of experience with psychedelics first or and have the intention to do it as a therapeutic experience. I ran a bath with candles, listened to music and talked to myself in the mirror. It made me smile and feel love for the first time in a long time, and helped me to love myself again.

It matters what shrooms you do because different strains have different effects, but Uncut Penis Envy mushrooms are very introspective. They helped me to make peace with so many things that have been bothering me and piling up inside me. They taught me that committing suicide would be a ridiculously sad ending to my story and that I still had life to live. I just feel really greatful that I was able to do this and have a good experience, and that I live in a city where I can obtain them easily (Toronto), and have a place that I can do them in a controlled setting. The experience won't be the same for everyone.

I did them on mostly an empty stomach except for a peanut butter sandwhich. Ate a lot of different vitamins while I was on them (Vitamin C, Vitamin D3, Inno Supplements, Magnesium), drank kratom tea by making 2-3g of kratom in a coffee maker with about 2-3 cups of water, and was smoking a vape. The bath and candles around 90 mins after eating helped make the peak start really nice. Having an open outlook on spirituality or the spiritual nature of things is important.

In short, I don't think I want to ctb anymore and have been struggling with the idea for a long time, so this is like a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. How long it will last, I don't know, but I think shrooms are a better medication than SSRIs or antipsychotics and I will use them if life or my mind ever gets as dark as they did again.
 
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U

ummwhaaat

Member
Oct 25, 2020
98
I also did shrooms in 2022 or 2023. (I scavenged for "Liberty caps" because I was afraid of ordering on the dark web).

First time I felt happiness in years (but also a lot of sadness). Interesting experience. Haven't done it since. Also didn't really have a good way to dose - I think I ate about 30 of them based on some random recommendation).
 
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NaturalBornNEET

NaturalBornNEET

知らないわ 周りのことなど 私は私 それだけ
Feb 22, 2022
250
Shrooms made me feel a lot of love too, it was a very alien feeling to actually love myself lol.

They're extremely emotional and therapeutic from my 2 experiences, more so than LSD. Which is what I think could make them more dangerous if not used with caution. The emotional weight could easily trigger a dysphoric trip.

How long it will last, I don't know
From my experience the mood afterglow doesn't last. The positive cognitive effects probably won't last if you do nothing practical to "integrate" the experience afterwards. It's good to use a one time trip as a wake-up shot and then do the work to not fall back asleep.
 
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telekon

telekon

Specialist
Feb 5, 2025
397
Shrooms made me feel a lot of love too, it was a very alien feeling to actually love myself lol.

They're extremely emotional and therapeutic from my 2 experiences, more so than LSD. Which is what I think could make them more dangerous if not used with caution. The emotional weight could easily trigger a dysphoric trip.


From my experience the mood afterglow doesn't last. The positive cognitive effects probably won't last if you do nothing practical to "integrate" the experience afterwards. It's good to use a one time trip as a wake-up shot and then do the work to not fall back asleep.
Yes, exactly. I read it's because you get a temporary reset on the brain to start forming new neural pathways, but if you go back to forming all the same habits as before, the neural pathways will stay the same. I'm gonna try but I mostly just slept all day today lol
 
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NaturalBornNEET

NaturalBornNEET

知らないわ 周りのことなど 私は私 それだけ
Feb 22, 2022
250
Yes, exactly. I read it's because you get a temporary reset on the brain to start forming new neural pathways, but if you go back to forming all the same habits as before, the neural pathways will stay the same. I'm gonna try but I mostly just slept all day today lol
This is the feeling I get, like I suddenly unlock extreme brain plasticity for a few days. It's also very anti-addictive. I couldn't stomach fatty, sugary and carby foods during the trip even if I forced myself to, and the few days post-trip my cravings for junk food were alleviated. Conversely food like fruit tastes literally divine.

I was knocked out after my shroom trip too dw, they literally emotionally overloaded me to sleep. LSD is the complete opposite tho, it's pretty much a quasi-stimulant.
 
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TheLastGreySky

TheLastGreySky

Wizard
Nov 24, 2023
690
Well I've been really depressed for about 6 months, and I decided yesterday I wanted to have a spiritual experience on magic mushrooms. I ate around 3.5g and it went really well. I think if you are going to do them therapeutically, you should have a bit of experience with psychedelics first or and have the intention to do it as a therapeutic experience. I ran a bath with candles, listened to music and talked to myself in the mirror. It made me smile and feel love for the first time in a long time, and helped me to love myself again.

It matters what shrooms you do because different strains have different effects, but Uncut Penis Envy mushrooms are very introspective. They helped me to make peace with so many things that have been bothering me and piling up inside me. They taught me that committing suicide would be a ridiculously sad ending to my story and that I still had life to live. I just feel really greatful that I was able to do this and have a good experience, and that I live in a city where I can obtain them easily (Toronto), and have a place that I can do them in a controlled setting. The experience won't be the same for everyone.

I did them on mostly an empty stomach except for a peanut butter sandwhich. Ate a lot of different vitamins while I was on them (Vitamin C, Vitamin D3, Inno Supplements, Magnesium), drank kratom tea by making 2-3g of kratom in a coffee maker with about 2-3 cups of water, and was smoking a vape. The bath and candles around 90 mins after eating helped make the peak start really nice. Having an open outlook on spirituality or the spiritual nature of things is important.

In short, I don't think I want to ctb anymore and have been struggling with the idea for a long time, so this is like a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. How long it will last, I don't know, but I think shrooms are a better medication than SSRIs or antipsychotics and I will use them if life or my mind ever gets as dark as they did again.
Golden Teachers saved my life. I'm actually wondering if I had a full psychological collapse because when I took them I was a really bad person and I recently saw a video on what might happen if narcissists take psychedelics. I'm just mentioning this encase anyone else has any insight into this. Anyway, I'm glad they helped you. Honestly I remember feeling like a weight was lifted and I could finally be "myself" if that makes sense. Maybe shedding my skin would be a better analogy.
 
telekon

telekon

Specialist
Feb 5, 2025
397
Golden Teachers saved my life. I'm actually wondering if I had a full psychological collapse because when I took them I was a really bad person and I recently saw a video on what might happen if narcissists take psychedelics. I'm just mentioning this encase anyone else has any insight into this. Anyway, I'm glad they helped you. Honestly I remember feeling like a weight was lifted and I could finally be "myself" if that makes sense. Maybe shedding my skin would be a better analogy.
Personally I'm still having all the same problems i.e., financial, work stress... so until they make a drug that can fix those things I think I'm still gonna be worrying about ctb :( They did make me really happy temporarily and I think they were beneficial psychologically overall, but my situation is just really bad
 
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Bitch With An Apple

"Student"
Jul 10, 2019
265
I wanna do this soon
Last ditch effort to gain some perspective
It's been a really long time
 
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webb&flow

webb&flow

dum spiro spero—take it as it comes
Nov 30, 2024
613
It's good to use a one time trip as a wake-up shot and then do the work to not fall back asleep.
À la this?:
Once you get the message, hang up the phone.
—Timothy Leary



Personally I'm still having all the same problems i.e., financial, work stress... so until they make a drug that can fix those things I think I'm still gonna be worrying about ctb :( They did make me really happy temporarily and I think they were beneficial psychologically overall, but my situation is just really bad

I totally get it that you still feel worried about your environmental problems, even when you've felt the sweetness of feeling better deep within.

I really hope that the energy, love, and perspective, that the psychedelic experience has given you, will further empower you, to be able to take down all those complex problems, one piece at a time. I hope newfound health & harmony will empower you to such a degree that you are able to find a better, less stressful & more peaceful, harmonious job; and that this new psychological peace & healing will give you enough stability to slowly dissect & eventually resolve all of your financial difficulties. When you have yourself, and your autonomy in hand,—and comforted by peace and self-love itself—you are unimaginably more empowered to solve things you struggled more with before.

As a quote (commonly misattributed to Thomas Jefferson) says: "If you want something you have never had, you must be willing to do something you have never done.". You've done something you have never done. You partook in a careful experience with tender intent, and came out, healthier, stronger, and—most important of all—happier.

If you find that this experience has made your life better, and easier to handle (and even enjoy), then I would encourage you to take advantage of this monumentous resource, to fulfill your right to the pursuit of happiness. Wishing you most well. So happy to hear you found something that helps you so much! ^^
 
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telekon

telekon

Specialist
Feb 5, 2025
397
À la this?:






I totally get it that you still feel worried about your environmental problems, even when you've felt the sweetness of feeling better deep within.

I really hope that the energy, love, and perspective, that the psychedelic experience has given you, will further empower you, to be able to take down all those complex problems, one piece at a time. I hope newfound health & harmony will empower you to such a degree that you are able to find a better, less stressful & more peaceful, harmonious job; and that this new psychological peace & healing will give you enough stability to slowly dissect & eventually resolve all of your financial difficulties. When you have yourself, and your autonomy in hand,—and comforted by peace and self-love itself—you are unimaginably more empowered to solve things you struggled more with before.

As a quote (commonly misattributed to Thomas Jefferson) says: "If you want something you have never had, you must be willing to do something you have never done.". You've done something you have never done. You partook in a careful experience with tender intent, and came out, healthier, stronger, and—most important of all—happier.

If you find that this experience has made your life better, and easier to handle (and even enjoy), then I would encourage you to take advantage of this monumentous resource, to fulfill your right to the pursuit of happiness. Wishing you most well. So happy to hear you found something that helps you so much! ^^
that's just it...i need a more harmonious job that matches who i am which is a peaceful artist, but instead i work in business development and do nothing but argue with my boss and try to cut "inefficiencies"

thanks for your words of wisdom... i do feel closer to my old self, before last summer when my whole life crumbled and i ended up on SaSu, so i want to take advantage. it's just hard.
 
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M

MapleS

you are allowed to be a prolifer with me
May 22, 2025
179
I'm happy for you <3
 
telekon

telekon

Specialist
Feb 5, 2025
397
I'm happy for you <3
thanks <3 I do feel marginally better since doing this. It was like a kick in the ass when I took them, and then it helped me hang out with my friend who wanted to do it again, like with chocolate. I didn't get that high but we went out and had a good time. It was the first time I went out with a friend in like 7-8 months so I feel a lot better.
 
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webb&flow

webb&flow

dum spiro spero—take it as it comes
Nov 30, 2024
613
that's just it...i need a more harmonious job that matches who i am which is a peaceful artist,
<3 those who make art give life; it is an invaluable profession & doing that truly colours the lives of people and the world.

but instead i work in business development and do nothing but argue with my boss and try to cut "inefficiencies"

Win the argument with your boss, by cutting the inefficiency that is this strenous job, for you >;).

When you are smart and skilled (which is what I receive from your willingness to try new things, and being able to come this far and see & feel beauty in things, as well), you can actually do any job you wish to. With a bit of searching, and work, you can secure a profession and doing and living that you are (truly) at peace with; and truly love c:

I am reminded of this piece of wisdom that I have been taught.

Do not merely make your own living; but live your own making.

This, in addition.

I shall leave you with a few words from George Konrad, the Hungarian dissident who retained his integrity through some crepuscular times, and who survived his persecutors by writing Antipolitics and The Loser, and many other lapidary essays and fictions. (When, after the emancipation of his country and society, they came to him and offered him the presidency, he said "No, thanks.") He wrote this in 1987, when the dawn seemed a good way off:

Have a lived life instead of a career. Put yourself in the safekeeping of good taste. Lived freedom will compensate you for a few losses. . . . If you don't like the style of others, cultivate your own. Get to know the tricks of reproduction, be a self-publisher even in conversation, and then the joy of working can fill your days.

Letters To A Young Contrarian



thanks for your words of wisdom... i do feel closer to my old self, before last summer when my whole life crumbled and i ended up on SaSu, so i want to take advantage. it's just hard.

This is because your "old" self is actually always there, and it was always living with you the whole time. You will find that all of the virtues you will enjoy from yourself, that whatever was possessed by the you of before is now in tandem possessed with the you of now—but even more instrumentally now, possessed better; for you now have more wisdom, more knowledge—and, most importantly: more self-love: and love, is the water from which wisdom grows; and so, your capabilities are more well off now, because you know more, now. (Yes, we can indeed develop against ourselves as well as for ourselves. But just as water relieves thirst; beneficial development heals away the malficial development.)

thanks for your words of wisdom...

Thank you! I'm glad you found them helpful for your needs :)

Anything I have learned here and tell you now, is merely something I learned from life; so, you are empowered in the same way to acquire and produce words of wisdom, and just as I advise you now- I am confident you will go on to give wisdom and love to more people, who will be touched by it, by virtue of yourself~ 😇

i do feel closer to my old self, before last summer when my whole life crumbled and i ended up on SaSu, so i want to take advantage. it's just hard.

It is indeed hard. But luckily, it is possible to be capable to take advantage, and rebuild joy itself :). Joy and goodness are like a garden; they generate more of themselves—and also bud & bloom opportunities, to further geminate their posterity & propagance—so, once they are tended to- stability & enjoyment, satisfaction and further growth, grow & follow & succeed them.

This community is a rich resource for rebuilding your own life; even if it might be difficult sometimes to ponder the concerns of others alongside ourselves. But then one might soon find that one can find healing for oneself through the experiences of others, too. With all things, deference. So I hope that you will take care, and benefit and educate from all things good here, heal and overcome all things painful (especially via slow sensitive steps of movement, and through being informed itself), and be most willing to express yourself, and experience good conversation and healing correspondence, and continue to taste all apertures of beauty in life. That is love, wisdom; and even more so, their grand equivalents:

To self-love, and to know thyself:

When you know others, of course that's good, it is wisdom. But to know yourself? That, is enlightenment :)



I learned such things from good people (whom gave me graces of their thoughts via communication—this one [just stated] is from a dear dear friend of mine, attuned to such introspection)—: but when you know yourself, you are able to learn such good things, via merely thinking with yourself.

So many times, you may come across a wise statement and realize "this was something I had been thinking of before.". Why? Because that is part of how people attain wisdom, by thinking through things, and by listening to themselves, and learning from their own selves.

Just as we listen to other people to seek wisdom—we too must listen to ourselves, in order to learn from everything we have to offer. Oh, we know so much more than we know—if we are to know our selves then we are to know so much more, merely from understanding all those things within us that are yet to be realized!

So discover yourself, learn from the gardens and thorns and ruggednesses and beautiful landscapes of your own mind: do not seek yourself outside of yourself. (Though external things can also really help you unlock the beauty & magnificence within, as well~) 😊

There is as much heaven inside of you as there is hell. The mind is a wild place. As Einstein so said: "Imagination encircles the world." So treasure your mind and all the good it can offer you. After all, if you have borne all its pain—aren't you as well entitled to all its pleasures? So enjoy yourself—that is every human's right: pain has indulged you however much it has, but I hope through lovely experiences such as these that you speak of, that pleasure itself will indulge you as much as you like, and that you can indulge it as well, through the ways of your self.

Enjoy all those good things which you are well-educated to know of. To educate literally means "to draw out of", and you have indeed drawn pleasure out of life itself, through acquiring wisdom, my dear friend! So continue to do this:—yes—you enjoy it well for it is a good thing. Do this more, enjoy yourself more. In life we must not only push away pain but also embrace pleasure. We move away from pain and enjoy the allure of pleasure. Naturally one empowers us for the other.

You have indeed found an immensely powerful way to acquire pleasure. And too, to heal your pains. I encourage you to invoke this powerful instrument with knowledge of how good it is, and to let this marvelous opportunity radically enjoy your life. To radically enjoy you, to give you joy into the very roots of your being! I say, let it be. Let this goodness continue to shine light and pure pleasure into your life: taste this sweetness and allow yourself to wish to taste it again, and again, and to let this lovely light grow in your life, and blossom as Joy itself.

Naturally, wisdom (knowledge of others, knowledge of things), enlightenment (knowledge of yourself, your being, and your inner workings), joy, pleasure, peace, solace, harmony, healing—all these good things—no, I dare say great things—which are as worthy to the mind and soul as sweet fresh clear water is to the mouth and body—come along with each other, usher each other in, and warmly and affectionately call after each other. So good things facilitate more goodness to enjoin them—for harmonies are like people; they love company, and also love company to share in their nature with (that is, company whom they share a nature with).

Best wishes. Loveliest hopes to you, fellow friend. I personally believe with confidence that there is wonderful hope for you, and that life itself is ready to be grasped by you, and harvested just as the ripe garden is. Carpe diem. Enjoy life, fellow human!

There is NO ONE, more suited, more willing, and more able, to take advantage of all the joy possible in your life—right NOW—than YOU. And this is always true for EVER. YOU are the person who is MOST capable of helping yourself. YOU can lead yourself to water, and DRINK yourself of its refreshing freshness as well. And whenever you don't feel like drinking in that moment, you can ALWAYS take a break and allow yourself to take ALL the time that you need to. (Allow yourself, please. You dearly need mental rest just as well as your body needs physical rest. That is; sleep, processing, relaxation.) 😊🤗

Carpe diem.

^^
 
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telekon

telekon

Specialist
Feb 5, 2025
397
<3 those who make art give life; it is an invaluable profession & doing that truly colours the lives of people and the world.
Thank you so, so much for writing all of this. I need to hear these things right now.

I can't wait to read Antipolitics, The Loser, and Letters To A Young Contrarian; those all sound like amazing pieces of writing. I never read anymore but I need to make time for it, because it does make me feel good when I do, and reading this post made me feel good. It reminded me of some things I used to read that used to make me feel better and I'm going to read them right now.

Ah yes, to know thyself. "GNOTHI SEAUTON" is something I used to say to myself often, and something I always held dear to my heart. It's an old proverb that means "Know Thyself"... It's taken a long time to know myself. It's unfortunate that my soul is endlessly complicated, that to become enlightened is, well, a challenge.

These are all things I used to meditate on before everything crumbled. June 1st of this year I was kicked out on the street with no where to go after struggling for a long time, but in the midst of things looking up as well. I had just started a new job and was making a lot of progress in this health app I'm trying to build, but my parents essentially said "time's up! pencil's down!" and kicked me to the curb with nothing to eat. They helped me a couple times throughout my life, and I was reaching 30 years old, so the "bank of mom and dad" was permanently closed, and I really struggled. I'm struggling now.

I have an interview this Wednesday for another company, but if I don't get it I'll keep trying. Everything just isn't working right now and I am a bit worried, but trying to keep a positive outlook. Life is really beautiful but it's also survival of the fittest when you're on your own, and that really sucks. My family is just really shitty on the inside and it's understandable that we wouldn't look after our own, hence Darwin taking us out of the gene pool. My last name will likely become extinct with me. I might take my wife's last name just as a final "fuck you" to my dad.
 
webb&flow

webb&flow

dum spiro spero—take it as it comes
Nov 30, 2024
613
Thank you so, so much for writing all of this. I need to hear these things right now.
<3 I'm glad they are of aid & peace to you :) I enjoyed very much writing it as well~!
I can't wait to read Antipolitics, The Loser, and Letters To A Young Contrarian; those all sound like amazing pieces of writing. I never read anymore but I need to make time for it, because it does make me feel good when I do
Letters To A Young Contrarian is certainly an easy one to open into!—Each chapter is one real letter written, (with names replaced with "Dear X…", ofc) so you get a full self-contained experience within each individual chapter. Very colorful and nice reading, I do say so myself!!

I shall certainly wish you well in your wishes to read Konrad! If you partake then I would love to hear what you think of it! (Myself I have not yet—so my well wishes always with you!!)
, and reading this post made me feel good. It reminded me of some things I used to read that used to make me feel better and I'm going to read them right now.
<3 You remind me of this eternally lovely comment I once read—about reading~:

Reading helps me a lot. It is both escapism and perspective. It can make the little things in life seem so much more beautiful and worthwhile.

justice4winnie
[She goes on, too—]
Been reading Anne of green gables and the way she treasures and sees magic in everything has helped me. Music helps as well. Catharsis helps. Finding things to do with your hands helps, showing you what you are capable of. Art helps. Reading war and peace also helped me but that's a behemoth so it's not for everyone, but it deals a lot with themes of the value of life and the struggle of living.

I agree with her~! With reading, we get to have our cake and eat it too. We both get to comfort ourselves and be provided insight upon our problems, and wisdom for life itself.

Ah yes, to know thyself. "GNOTHI SEAUTON" is something I used to say to myself often, and something I always held dear to my heart. It's an old proverb that means "Know Thyself"... It's taken a long time to know myself. It's unfortunate that my soul is endlessly complicated, that to become enlightened is, well, a challenge.
I love it so much that you recognize the Greek!! Aha yes! Another lovely fave of mine is "PANTA RHEI" [EVERYTHING FLOWS]—from Heraclitus, apparently—! It's a lovely reminder (especially to myself) that things can change, that we are always changing. (This is the meaning of my current status, by the way~~!)
These are all things I used to meditate on before everything crumbled
You have all of the knowledge and wisdom and beauty (especially of mind) and enlightenment and passion that you enjoyed all then, too—for they are within you, and you have learned well and know these things well, indeed :)
I have an interview this Wednesday for another company, but if I don't get it I'll keep trying.
Congratulations!!! I'm thrilled by your outlook—sentiment, and approach—! ^^
Everything just isn't working right now and I am a bit worried, but trying to keep a positive outlook. Life is really beautiful but it's also survival of the fittest when you're on your own, and that really sucks. My family is just really shitty on the inside and it's understandable that we wouldn't look after our own, hence Darwin taking us out of the gene pool.
Good thing there are those better than your family, those willing to accord with our deep and sincere nature to aid one another.
γεγόναμεν γὰρ πρὸς συνεργίαν ὡς πόδες, ὡς χεῖρες, ὡς βλέφαρα, ὡς οἱ στοῖχοι τῶν ἄνω καὶ τῶν κάτω ὀδόντων.

τὸ οὖν ἀντιπράσσειν ἀλλήλοις παρὰ φύσιν˙ ἀντιπρακτικὸν

We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower.

Therefore, it is against our nature to work against each other ...

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 2:1

My last name will likely become extinct with me. I might take my wife's last name just as a final "fuck you" to my dad.
Seems sufficient payment indeed! It is within your full right to do so :) Your name is yours to change as you will! (In fact—you can even change it before then—if you desire that, too!~)


Your name, your life, your virtues, your passions, your love; all these things, are yours and no others', yours alone—for none can take them from you: they nestle comfortable within your own hands—in your grasp, at your will :)

Gnothi seauton indeed—I wish us sincerely both the best ways in that :)

^^
 
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B

Bitch With An Apple

"Student"
Jul 10, 2019
265
necrobumping but I think today's the day to try some magic
I'm nervous as hell but fingers crossed
 

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