At what point do you feel this world is not home?

[absolomonisgone]

At what point do yo really know that this world is not your home? REALLY KNOW? ..., the realisation that it is all over? ..., anyway, this was the best place i ever been to in all the internet. ..., this was the best website i ever was comfortable. ..., nobody ever judged, abusive, judgemental....., whoever did this website..., thank you.

 

[Holu]

At what point do yo really know that this world is not your home? REALLY KNOW? ..., the realisation that it is all over? ..., anyway, this was the best place i ever been to in all the internet. ..., this was the best website i ever was comfortable. ..., nobody ever judged, abusive, judgemental....., whoever did this website..., thank you.

The world is my home, although an abusive one. It stopped being my true home when both I and it failed to properly introduce me into society. It failed when it didn't catch me as I was falling into my own abyssal depths. It failed when I looked around and saw so much suffering yet seeing a select few treated far better than others. The world picked its favorites, and made me feel like the middle child more than ever. The love I'm given is superficial, and though I have loved ones who care for me, they unfortunately cannot be with me 24/7, and cannot truly care for my needs. It's like a neglected child with a sibling they like, where it's nice to feel some comfort but the abuse still continues

Also idk who made this but I do have an inkling of the amount of harassment and struggle Rain has to go through to keep this up. WE STAN RAIN.

 

[RandomTuesday]

I don't think there was ever an exact moment for me, or if I'm even really there yet.

It's been like a quiet humming in a room. It's been humming for a long time, I've just tuned it out with louder sounds in the room. Now that the room is quieter, the humming seems louder to me and it's always present. It's not deafening yet, so I'm still here typing.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly know that I've never been meant to exist in this cruel world, existing is certainly not for me and the thought of being trapped here for potentially decades longer is something that is so horrible to think about. And anyway this world is such a hellish place to me, it could never be a home or something that is worth existing in, I've never wished to be here. There is no relief from suffering in this harmful world.

 

[absolomonisgone]

I certainly know that I've never been meant to exist in this cruel world, existing is certainly not for me and the thought of being trapped here for potentially decades longer is something that is so horrible to think about. And anyway this world is such a hellish place to me, it could never be a home or something that is worth existing in, I've never wished to be here. There is no relief from suffering in this harmful world.

funerall cry..., how come you never die and been here so long?

 

[FuneralCry]

funerall cry..., how come you never die and been here so long?

I literally just wrote a reply about this in another thread but the fact is that suicide isn't straightforward, the reality is that it's something very difficult in this anti choice society. Somebody cannot just choose to pass away, I think the forum wouldn't exist if the option was there to just die without having to research and plan methods.

 

[RichardFirst]

If you were to buy a house, and within the first year suffered a problem with the electricity, burst pipes, a burglary and rats in the attic, would you feel that you wanted to stay? Such it is with life. Eventually, the problems add up, and continuing simple seems like more trouble than it is worth.

 

[EternalOblivion]

It was when I realized that no amount of effort on my part will ever be enough to significantly improve my circumstances. Every time I try to take a step forward, life knocks me several steps back. If the universe is trying to tell me something, the point has been made: I don't belong in this world.

 

[absolomonisgone]

how many of us are enchanted? like we are so far away from home?

I literally just wrote a reply about this in another thread but the fact is that suicide isn't straightforward, the reality is that it's something very difficult in this anti choice society. Somebody cannot just choose to pass away, I think the forum wouldn't exist if the option was there to just die without having to research and plan methods.

are you so far away away from home? I am.

 

[rcedu]

I had a very interesting feeling a couple of days ago. I am planning to ctb this month, and I was just planning some of the things I have to get done before I ctb. Suddenly I got this feeling as if I could not think ahead. I was not able to think of my future anymore. No matter how hard I tried to think about it, I could not, as if my body knows that I will soon be gone. It was so comforting and strange at the same time.

 

[bloberta]

i cant remember a time where i thought this was my home. i've always felt disconnected. at least i think so.

 

[RichardFirst]

I had a very interesting feeling a couple of days ago. I am planning to ctb this month, and I was just planning some of the things I have to get done before I ctb. Suddenly I got this feeling as if I could not think ahead. I was not able to think of my future anymore. No matter how hard I tried to think about it, I could not, as if my body knows that I will soon be gone. It was so comforting and strange at the same time.

I've always wondered how inmates on death row feel. Some would say that it's horrific to know when one will pass, but I think that it would be a tremendous relief. Unlike us, they would not even have the fear of SI's kicking in or of a failed attempt.

 

[Darkover]

at age 18 i realized this world doesn't care for us this isn't a place to call home nor is it a place to live and work we're just enslaved inside a death trap destained to rot and decay into there is nothing left of me

this isn't a place to build a life or a home not when it just decay into nothingness

 

[scamper]

I've been suicical for about 5 years now but within the timeframe I can't pinpoint a time where I started to feel like I didn't belong here, I've felt like that since I can remember. I understand that a lot of others enjoy living, and more power to them, but it's just not for me. I was born to die.

 

[absolomonisgone]

It was when I realized that no amount of effort on my part will ever be enough to significantly improve my circumstances. Every time I try to take a step forward, life knocks me several steps back. If the universe is trying to tell me something, the point has been made: I don't belong in this world.

too bad life gave you a bad card...., i won't be sorry or such..., that's how shit rolls. so..., ..., so.. fucjk life. why not?

 

[whatevs]

I never felt really comfortable or carefree in my skin or in the world I had to suffer. I understand we don't experience the same reality to an extent, but overall it seems existence is ruthless and at best just good enough so that lifeforms peak, wither and die, which means in practical terms that the constant struggle becomes noticeable with age and eventually tears down into a tired and ugly mass the vessel of the will to exist.

To live cornered and timid, preoccupied, anxious. Yeah, it surely conjured in me the idea that this is hell and that I should leave. But, what is outside?

 

[absolomonisgone]

I never felt really comfortable or carefree in my skin or in the world I had to suffer. I understand we don't experience the same reality to an extent, but overall it seems existence is ruthless and at best just good enough so that lifeforms peak, wither and die, which means in practical terms that the constant struggle becomes noticeable with age and eventually tears down into a tired and ugly mass the vessel of the will to exist.

To live cornered and timid, preoccupied, anxious. Yeah, it surely conjured in me the idea that this is hell and that I should leave. But, what is outside?

To live cornered and timid, preoccupied, anxious......, IMAGINE that's the definition of my life.....CORNERED, TIMID, PREOCCUPIED, ANXIOUS......or rather the life i used to lead till i decided to ctb.

To live cornered, timid, preoccupied, anxious....., my friend i lived such a life for over 30 years..... YOU express it so well...., funny, you must know such an existence.