At ease with death

[ilovecats]

Imagine a door, and your struggles as something that's pushing you to that door. With my way of viewing the world, the door is opened and I'm completely willing to go through it by myself, without being pushed into it. It is something I truthly want. I want to stop thinking. True neutrality. No happiness. No sadness. No nothing. Just eternal rest. I don't want to live a happy life, even if it is perfect. I'm not interested, it is just not appealing to me. It will all be reduced to nothing in the end anyway. No difference between ctb early or dying of old age, except for what the current you perceives. Just the thought of not existing makes me happy. I've already found a place from where I can get SN, as it is quite easy to get in my country. I will focus the following month on making my exit as happy as possible.

 

[Live and Let Die]

I'm glad to hear you've come to such a peaceful solution. Godspeed and best wishes. (Love ur username too <3)

 

[FuneralCry]

It also sounds so ideal to me, being able to rest permanently and in fact that's all I've ever wished for. Life certainly is not for me as well, life isn't for everyone and this is the reality. I could personally never see anything appealing about existing in any way possible, in fact just simply existing in this world makes the thought of non existence sound so incredibly appealing.

Your feelings are certainly understandable, and I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for. Life certainly is just a pointless struggle that leads to nowhere apart from our inevitable death, so at least to me it makes sense wanting to take control over when we leave, it must be a relief feeling so content with your decision.

 

[SilentSadness]

I also want to die, how anyone can be content with inevitable suffering is beyond me. I am never at all comfortable or peaceful and rest is what I desire the most. All happiness to be found here is plagued by painful side effects and unfair terms. I hope you find the peace you desire.

 

[RichardFirst]

I rather like the idea of death being akin to an endless sleep. Maybe we can dream whilst there.