Assaulted my mother while in a manic episode. Diagnosed with psychosis and schizophrenia.

[TakeMeToHeaven]

I'd rather kill myself than end up in prison one day for being violent against someone else such as a stranger. In the psych ward I did end up assaulting a staff member but they did not press charges, I also pulled my punch at the last moment.

I'm afraid of myself and my future. I think society should remove me from existence before I bring harm to another person again. Please legalize euthanasia soon.

I notice that I lose rationality whenever I go into a manic episode. Who knows when the next one might come? I'm taking pills for the time being, but they make me feel awful.

I'm constantly anxious and monitoring my own mental state, but you can't really "catch" yourself before you go into a manic episode... it just happens spontaneously and you don't notice until after the damage is done.

I could've been disowned, thrown out into the streets, became homeless, then it would be too late to order poison online to kill myself.

Life is scary, and I'm sick of dealing with uncertainties.

 

[Esokabat]

There is a great Youtube channel called "Living Well With Schizophrenia".

She made a video on how she can recognize that she is slipping into psychosis and catch it in time:

 

[Timothy7dff]

Schizophrenia is a terrible disease.

 

[nomore1219]

I'm bipolar and have experienced many episodes of psychosis. I've destroyed my life so many times and I don't want to be here anymore.