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elfgyoza

elfgyoza

Cursed
Aug 5, 2019
326
I am just a bit curious you don't need to answer.
What's it is like to have apsie? Can't really imagine it.
It feels like you don't fit in anywhere, little changes overwhelm you easily, black and white thinking means you're quite stubborn to change your ways even when presented with better alternatives, sensory issues cause meltdowns, loud noises spike your anxiety, touch feels painful. It's like we're overly sensitive to everything (unless a sensory issue is hypo not hyper). There's some good stuff about being an aspie I guess, we get really into in our special interests, we pick up on things others seem to miss, we each have our own quirks, we're not afraid to go against the crowd and we're more comfortable expressing who we are (percentage of lgbtq+ in autistic people is higher than the general population)
 
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KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,797
I have Autism as well, and I hate it. The perks I got didn't seem to last past childhood, as I started accumulating trauma and other illnesses.

My hyperlexic traits were overshadowed by my speech impairments. I'm selectively mute and often can't speak, or end up stuttering and garbling words due to my mind going blank. I used to have lots of special interests but since I became physically ill my mind just feels like a scrambled labyrinth that does not allow me to find enjoyment in anything.

Autistic people, but women especially- since we are often under diagnosed and most research focuses on male presentations of ASD- are looked down upon in society so much if we do not bestow upon the world an extra special talent/savant skill.

A lot of other autistic people believe that we just need to be accepted culturally and socially then things will be all good, but I don't think that's the case.

I have pretty dehabilitating sensory processing issues to the point where many textures and fabrics feel like needles against my skin. I have loads of sensitivities as well to noises, sounds, and scents. I am quite "slow" and can't process information rapidly, especially when it comes to fine motor skill coordination. I can't make eye contact and my body language is confusing to neurotypical people.

If you're a genius who happens to be autistic and an introvert, you will be celebrated (if your special interest is profitable, of course.) If you're autistic and you struggle to function in school or the workplace as a result, especially whilst enduring bullying or discrimination, there is no sympathy for you. Basically, if you're an autistic adult with executive functioning issues, there is no help or empathy available and you get told to deal with it even from other autistic people who were blessed with masking skills or cognitive talents.

There was a member of this forum who got a lot of media attention due to being a suicidal autistic woman, Callie Lewis. It is quite disheartening that onlookers seemed to ignore how disadvantaged she was in life due to biases against autistic people. Everyone says to find your tribe, well what if you don't fit into any tribe because you are just that odd and off putting to them?

That is my life as an autistic alien from planet weirdo.
 
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