Venting Ashamed of who I am

[AltFoxx]

So this is what life is like so far. I'm currently age 22 and I've never felt more disenfranchised in my life. I'm doing absolutely nothing right now, leading the life of a NEET. I was in college about a year ago but couldn't handle it. Every day of waking up was met with dread and questions like "This can't be all there is to life"

Yet I can't help but feel crap all the while having motivation for nothing. Just dreaming of the end, at least the peaceful one

I'm not sure if I have regrets about my choices but feel that no matter what I choose, I'd somehow screw it up. I don't even have any friends except those online.

I just wish one out of the many of my days that I can be content but I can't. Everything right now is so overwhelming. Even what I've written is a jumble of incoherence lol

 

[_Kaira_]

I relate so much. 23 and also a NEET. Slid by highschool barely..and then nothing. Havn't done a d*mn thing, only been existing these past 5, almost 6 years. The more I think of it, the worse I feel. Yet I hardly do anything to change it. School, work, and what else? More work? A family I can never have? For another 60ish years? No thank you....

I've been trying so hard now to get a job, despite the overwhelming amounts of stress and anxiety.
But maybe it's my age and blank resume that I can't even get the 'easiest' of jobs, and I won't have a chance anymore.


"Just try harder" I am... but I'm just so tired. A cycle of feeling useless cause I'm not doing enough, but not doing enough because I feel useless. Ugh.

I'm so sorry.

 

[AltFoxx]

I relate so much. 23 and also a NEET. Slid by highschool barely..and then nothing. Havn't done a d*mn thing, only been existing these past 5, almost 6 years. The more I think of it, the worse I feel. Yet I hardly do anything to change it. School, work, and what else? More work? A family I can never have? For another 60ish years? No thank you....

I've been trying so hard now to get a job, despite the overwhelming amounts of stress and anxiety.
But maybe it's my age and blank resume that I can't even get the 'easiest' of jobs, and I won't have a chance anymore.


"Just try harder" I am... but I'm just so tired. A cycle of feeling useless cause I'm not doing enough, but not doing enough because I feel useless. Ugh.

I'm so sorry.

I'm in the exact same boat and you cant get out. If someone asked for my resume, I'd better hope I'm good at lying. In all honesty I feel like I'd screw up at one of the easier jobs, pretty pathetic. My time in college really sucked, we had to work on wiring something and I was so behind everyone else, I just couldn't do it and would avoid days, weeks until I just thought I can't.

The first time I went to college the so called councilor shamed me when I said I struggled to focus. She berated me and said do you want to end up working in McDonald's. I was just so pissed so instead of going back to class, I walked straight out and back to my home.

 

[MizzShadows]

You're worth more than you realize and probably didn't recognize the small things you've helped with in that time. Also people have spent those years doing far worse things making society a worse place during that time so you having nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[AltFoxx]

You're worth more than you realize and probably didn't recognize the small things you've helped with in that time. Also people have spent those years doing far worse making society a worse place during that time so you having nothing to be ashamed of.

Thank you, that's really nice of you to say. Even if it can be hard to believe it myself

 

[StringPuppet]

I'm in a similar situation in life, 24, NEET, no motivation ,etc, but I don't really feel much shame anymore. Pro-lifers/Normies/etc just have to accept that there are some people that don't want to participate in life, and they'll have to concede that ctb is a good way out for people like me who don't expect to get any better.

 

[_Kaira_]

I'm in a similar situation in life, 24, NEET, no motivation ,etc, but I don't really feel much shame anymore. Pro-lifers/Normies/etc just have to accept that there are some people that don't want to participate in life, and they'll have to concede that ctb is a good way out for people like me who don't expect to get any better.

Personally I feel more guilt with having to have others to take care of me. Never had a job, cant get on social security benefits, not that I want to. I don't want tax payers to pay for me anyway. On food stamps but, won't be allowed to live under someone's roof for free much longer. So much pressure. So much dread. I'm tired.

Even worse needing to ask for feminine hygiene products every little while...ugh that's so embarrassing.

Homelessness is in my future, I know that already, since I've been told so. Good times.

 

[AltFoxx]

I'm in a similar situation in life, 24, NEET, no motivation ,etc, but I don't really feel much shame anymore. Pro-lifers/Normies/etc just have to accept that there are some people that don't want to participate in life, and they'll have to concede that ctb is a good way out for people like me who don't expect to get any better.

Honestly I could do without another person ever recommending some form of self help that worked for them, only for them to get angry that you don't get better by their methods. Never mind mentioning how you truly feel, that's a no-no

Personally I feel more guilt with having to have others to take care of me. Never had a job, cant get on social security benefits, not that I want to. I don't want tax payers to pay for me anyway. On food stamps but, won't be allowed to live under someone's roof for free much longer. So much pressure. So much dread. I'm tired.

Even worse needing to ask for feminine hygiene products every little while...ugh that's so embarrassing.

Homelessness is in my future, I know that already, since I've been told so. Good times.

I can totally understand this sentiment. Having to be dependent on others already feels bad enough but when your mind is like a run away train with no rails left Infront of it

 

[_Kaira_]

Honestly I could do without another person ever recommending some form of self help that worked for them, only for them to get angry that you don't get better by their methods. Never mind mentioning how you truly feel, that's a no-no

"I feel bad for you, but you talk about how you feel too often." "You don't do anything about it (how I feel)" "You brought your problems to us"

I'm currently still receiving 'help'. When will this 'magic' start to work? Lol.

 

[MizzShadows]

Thank you, that's really nice of you to say. Even if it can be hard to believe it myself

But you can see it for yourself at how others are spending their time. Look at callout culture on twitter for example. You're not hurting anyone and I'm sure you help others in your own way but may not have noticed this. I was a neet but I won't be ashamed for it you have every right to be here.

 

[AltFoxx]

"I feel bad for you, but you talk about how you feel too often." "You don't do anything about it (how I feel)" "You brought your problems to us"

I'm currently still receiving 'help'. When will this 'magic' start to work? Lol.

First they sympathise, then they have to sympathise with themselves sympathising xD

 

[mixerrr001]

ahsmaed ashamed dude yes yes ,,,, hguman history.. your just an observer jsut observe dont look mirrow jsut try enjoy ur so focused on urself on ur ego yesyes.... it human nature but fk this human nature so focused on urself JUST FORGET ABOUT IT... I UGLY TOO ALL PEOLE HATE ME BUT I JUST u know see the beauty outseifr see beauty in nature in our planet in other planet..AFTER ALL THIS BODY GONNA BE DEAD... ALL OF US
IN THERMS OF 100years UR BODY WILL BE DIRT DUST AND EARTH.. NOTHING ELSE .... JUST TRY TO ENJOY NOT FOCUS TO MUCH UR ALL HERE TALKING TOO MUCH....I WENT THE WAY FROM HATING MSYELF SO HARD FROM SELF HARM TO SUICID TRY TO ACEPTANCE ADN THEN I UNDERSTAND THAT ACCEPTANCE BULLSHIT JUST WHY UR EVER NEED TO BE FOCUSED ON ACCEPTANCE THIS BODY THROW AWAY ALCHEMY>>> UR MIND UR EMOTIONS HOW UR EXPERUENCE UR LIFE HERE MY HUG I AM GIRL I AM GUY I AM JUS A MIND PLS STOP WITH THAT BULLSHIT JUST ENJOY THE BEAUTY OF THINGS WITHOUT BE FOCUSED ON URSELF UR WORSE THEN NARCISSITS PEACE GUYS SEND HUGS SEND AL THE BEST EVEN IF IT WONT REPAIR UR LIFE JUST TRY EVEN NOT TRY JUST DO IT HOW LIFE WHEN UR NOT FOCUSED ON URSELF TRY FKN PSYLOCIBIN AND FIND OUT WE ARE ETERNAL DONT WORRY THERE IS NO SICK MIND AS GOD WHO GONNA PUT UR FOREVER HELL TO SUFFER IF HTERE IS PURE MIND WITH COMPASSION AND LIFE WHO CREATED IT IT WONT MAKE HELL ONLY HUMAN SICK SELF OBSSED MIND CAN CREATE HELL WE ARE ANIMALS WE STILL SLEEPY BUT PLEASE <<<< FIND OUT URSELF I DONT WANT EXPLAIN ALL I MUCH WORSE THEN ANYWONE HERE OF UR I WAS DYING IN TRASH IN WORSE PALCES ON PLANED WORSE THEN NIGERIA AND PLASTIC GLICING IN GARBAGE PALSTIC MENTILNG HOSUES NOW I FELE MUCH BETTER I GONAN DIE BUT GUYS LLIVE TRY TLO LVIE <#<3<# MUCH LOVE

 

[AltFoxx]

But you can see it for yourself at what others are spending their time. Look at callout culture on twitter and how others are spending their time. You're not hurting anyone and I'm sure you help others in your own way but may not have noticed this. I was a neet but I won't be ashamed for it you have every right to be here.

I guess in a way your right. These conversations alone feel more productive than any spat you catch on twitter

 

[MizzShadows]

I guess in a way your right. These conversations alone feel more productive than any spat you catch on twitter

What I mean is those who shame neets are likely spending times in worse ways.

 

[AltFoxx]

ahsmaed ashamed dude yes yes ,,,, hguman history.. your just an observer jsut observe dont look mirrow jsut try enjoy ur so focused on urself on ur ego yesyes.... it human nature but fk this human nature so focused on urself JUST FORGET ABOUT IT... I UGLY TOO ALL PEOLE HATE ME BUT I JUST u know see the beauty outseifr see beauty in nature in our planet in other planet..AFTER ALL THIS BODY GONNA BE DEAD... ALL OF US
IN THERMS OF 100years UR BODY WILL BE DIRT DUST AND EARTH.. NOTHING ELSE .... JUST TRY TO ENJOY NOT FOCUS TO MUCH UR ALL HERE TALKING TOO MUCH....I WENT THE WAY FROM HATING MSYELF SO HARD FROM SELF HARM TO SUICID TRY TO ACEPTANCE ADN THEN I UNDERSTAND THAT ACCEPTANCE BULLSHIT JUST WHY UR EVER NEED TO BE FOCUSED ON ACCEPTANCE THIS BODY THROW AWAY ALCHEMY>>> UR MIND UR EMOTIONS HOW UR EXPERUENCE UR LIFE HERE MY HUG I AM GIRL I AM GUY I AM JUS A MIND PLS STOP WITH THAT BULLSHIT JUST ENJOY THE BEAUTY OF THINGS WITHOUT BE FOCUSED ON URSELF UR WORSE THEN NARCISSITS PEACE GUYS SEND HUGS SEND AL THE BEST EVEN IF IT WONT REPAIR UR LIFE JUST TRY EVEN NOT TRY JUST DO IT HOW LIFE WHEN UR NOT FOCUSED ON URSELF TRY FKN PSYLOCIBIN AND FIND OUT WE ARE ETERNAL DONT WORRY THERE IS NO SICK MIND AS GOD WHO GONNA PUT UR FOREVER HELL TO SUFFER IF HTERE IS PURE MIND WITH COMPASSION AND LIFE WHO CREATED IT IT WONT MAKE HELL ONLY HUMAN SICK SELF OBSSED MIND CAN CREATE HELL WE ARE ANIMALS WE STILL SLEEPY BUT PLEASE <<<< FIND OUT URSELF I DONT WANT EXPLAIN ALL I MUCH WORSE THEN ANYWONE HERE OF UR I WAS DYING IN TRASH IN WORSE PALCES ON PLANED WORSE THEN NIGERIA AND PLASTIC GLICING IN GARBAGE PALSTIC MENTILNG HOSUES NOW I FELE MUCH BETTER I GONAN DIE BUT GUYS LLIVE TRY TLO LVIE <#<3<# MUCH LOVE

I have actually tried psychedelics before, they made me emotional to say the least but that was the limit of them for me. Much love back at ya <3