Venting When will my torment end?

[kunikuzushi]

I can't seem to catch a break. It's just constant torture. It's overwhelming. And for what? There's nothing I even want in this life. I don't want love or happy moments or anything. So why am I just letting myself be tortured? I don't want anything anymore. I just want all this pain to end.

It's getting worse every day. It's building up. I'm at my limit. Why am I doing this to myself?

 

[Esc9434]

What's going on OP?

Aren't you the person who had the unexpected bf that messed up your plans?

Please tell me he isn't the one still causing your despair?

 

[kunikuzushi]

What's going on OP?

Aren't you the person who had the unexpected bf that messed up your plans?

Please tell me he isn't the one still causing your despair?

Oh thank you so much for remembering. He's only causing about 10% of my despair. And honestly most of it is because of me and my very extreme emotions and reactions to everything.

I've been in constant pain since the day I was born. And as time goes on, I reflect more on how meaningless this suffering is. And how it's just logical for me to die to end the suffering as soon as possible.

Thank you for your kindness.

 

[Esc9434]

Oh thank you so much for remembering. He's only causing about 10% of my despair. And honestly most of it is because of me and my very extreme emotions and reactions to everything.

I've been in constant pain since the day I was born. And as time goes on, I reflect more on how meaningless this suffering is. And how it's just logical for me to die to end the suffering as soon as possible.

Thank you for your kindness.

It is no problem.

I would have preferred if he was the source of your current pain. Cause he is a fixable problem if you don't rely on him for anything .

So tell us more about this pain/despair. Maybe we can help?

Or maybe you are just venting in general and want support as is?

We can do either.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand finding it so torturous and painful to exist, I just wish to be free from it all as well, all I want is peace from the suffering of existing, I wish you the best.

 

[LastDayOnEarth]

For you I dont know, but in my case I've been facing torment since I was born

Divorced parents
Bullying
Insecurities
Uncertainty about future
Depression
Self hate
Anxiety

And it goes on

 

[Darkover]

it's important to recognize that it's not you doing this to yourself but a diabolical government restricting the right to die

 

[kunikuzushi]

It is no problem.

I would have preferred if he was the source of your current pain. Cause he is a fixable problem if you don't rely on him for anything .

So tell us more about this pain/despair. Maybe we can help?

Or maybe you are just venting in general and want support as is?

We can do either.

It's a constant pain that comes with existence. The thought of everything I have and do being absolutely meaningless creates a deep despair in me every day. I fight every day to slightly ease this never ending boredom and loneliness, but it takes all my energy to help myself not be in agony at any given second. And all this effort is for nothing because I will die one day, and none of this will matter. I can't even think of what support someone can offer, but thank you for listening.

For you I dont know, but in my case I've been facing torment since I was born

Divorced parents
Bullying
Insecurities
Uncertainty about future
Depression
Self hate
Anxiety

And it goes on

Yes, I've been facing the same as you since my earliest memory. And more just keeps being added. I'm sorry to hear you're going through the same.

it's important to recognize that it's not you doing this to yourself but a diabolical government restricting the right to die

Thank you. Yes, I should stop blaming myself because if the government wasn't keeping us from peaceful effective ways to die, I would be able to leave.

 

[ChainedCrow]

Im so sorry that life has been constantly beating you down. There is some meaning in trying to ease the everyday pain u are suffering we have the desire to live better and even if we all die in the end for nothing we try to make living in this horrible world a little bit easier. Dont blame yourself for your suffering you deserve to live more happily the world around u is just cruel and its not your fault. Much love and good luck in the future

 

[kunikuzushi]

Im so sorry that life has been constantly beating you down. There is some meaning in trying to ease the everyday pain u are suffering we have the desire to live better and even if we all die in the end for nothing we try to make living in this horrible world a little bit easier. Dont blame yourself for your suffering you deserve to live more happily the world around u is just cruel and its not your fault. Much love and good luck in the future

Thank you dear. I don't want to live more happily. It hurts a lot more when it gets taken away. And everything gets taken away. Thank you for your kind words and I wish you the best.