dinosavr
and if i’m turning blue please don’t save me 🌛
- Dec 14, 2023
- 669
I felt really weird today and I thought it would be a good idea to write myself this kind of note where you don't think about grammar or using the most suitable words etc but you just let your thoughts flow.
And I discovered a new perspective which technically is not at all new but all of a sudden I realized that seems very reasonable to me.
We live in a world where being suicidal means being mentally ill. It's a symptom of a disease or a disorder at least. But who settled that?? (It's an actual question, if you know, please explain it to me). I know this may sound familiar, some people talk about it here everyday (which personally btw I usually like) so it's not a fresh idea, but for real, isn't death actually just a simple matter of ending the constant hellish pain and suffering? Aren't non-suicidal people just delusional? What they do is based on what? On what they were told by their ancestors. And their ancestors were told by theirs, and so on. There is literally nothing, not a single thing about this world that proves that our lives matter. And that all the effort we put in surviving each day is worth something. Basically, there are actually many more signs that it is not. There are animals who aren't treated like they are equal to humans. Who made it up? Why aren't we just like them? Biologically and everythingly - we are. We are just meat and bones that one day, sooner or later, will be eaten by another meat and bones. End of story.
And I don't get it why do people prefer to look for the things that make their lives "worth living", instead of preparing a huge suicide plan for everyone on earth and just get it over with? lol.
Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. Beyond stupid. And I'm done, I'm really so tired. The only reason why I still exist is that I too try to get delusional and go on. That's the only way. And sometimes I succeed, I get things done, I actually put effort in my relationship with other people, in my physical condition, job, etc etc all that shit. And then I have a bucket of ice thrown at my face again and it wakes me up and makes me start thinking again - you're in here for nothing, and nothing that you do really masters. Of course it matters today what I did yesterday but from further point of view - nothing. I am just one of eight billion idiots who don't even know what they're doing and why they're doing it. Sickkkk
And I discovered a new perspective which technically is not at all new but all of a sudden I realized that seems very reasonable to me.
We live in a world where being suicidal means being mentally ill. It's a symptom of a disease or a disorder at least. But who settled that?? (It's an actual question, if you know, please explain it to me). I know this may sound familiar, some people talk about it here everyday (which personally btw I usually like) so it's not a fresh idea, but for real, isn't death actually just a simple matter of ending the constant hellish pain and suffering? Aren't non-suicidal people just delusional? What they do is based on what? On what they were told by their ancestors. And their ancestors were told by theirs, and so on. There is literally nothing, not a single thing about this world that proves that our lives matter. And that all the effort we put in surviving each day is worth something. Basically, there are actually many more signs that it is not. There are animals who aren't treated like they are equal to humans. Who made it up? Why aren't we just like them? Biologically and everythingly - we are. We are just meat and bones that one day, sooner or later, will be eaten by another meat and bones. End of story.
And I don't get it why do people prefer to look for the things that make their lives "worth living", instead of preparing a huge suicide plan for everyone on earth and just get it over with? lol.
Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. Beyond stupid. And I'm done, I'm really so tired. The only reason why I still exist is that I too try to get delusional and go on. That's the only way. And sometimes I succeed, I get things done, I actually put effort in my relationship with other people, in my physical condition, job, etc etc all that shit. And then I have a bucket of ice thrown at my face again and it wakes me up and makes me start thinking again - you're in here for nothing, and nothing that you do really masters. Of course it matters today what I did yesterday but from further point of view - nothing. I am just one of eight billion idiots who don't even know what they're doing and why they're doing it. Sickkkk