Finalnight
Cbting 07/03/24, love you all.
- Aug 16, 2023
- 214
KatzeK4
Katze
- Mar 23, 2023
- 29
Probably hoping that whatever method I do kills me, and I don't end up as a vegetable. Then my fam.
Neverfeltdeader
Can you hear me drift away?
- Dec 12, 2021
- 129
My last thought will most likely be something like "shit, I shouldn't have done this."
Sleeper System
Z z Z z Z z Z z Z z Z
- May 5, 2022
- 757
" I'm so fucking happy right now! I'm so fucking happy! Fuck I dont want to do this! Please god please! Im okay. Im okay... it's okay. I'm okay. "
throneofdispair03
is a mistake
- Jan 10, 2024
- 236
hoping they're not to try to convince me to "save myself"
I am very afraid of regretful thoughts like "What have you done you stupid idiot"?
Thats funny because objectivly my life goes downhill for quite a while without any possibility of reversing.
Thats funny because objectivly my life goes downhill for quite a while without any possibility of reversing.
amaluuk
Member
- Jan 11, 2024
- 71
I'm not particularly worried. In addition to what's going through my mind when I'm practicing and what's been in my mind when I was having a perceived near death experience, I've gotten a fill of my thoughts and they're nothing scary.
When I've practiced finding my carotid sweet spot in a noose (to be clear, by practice I mean 'trying to find it and if I find it then I'm ending it right then and there') the last things I always say are some silly phrase ("nothing could be grander than to be in Louisiana" was the one I last remember using) and my thoughts are always about focus and technique. On the rare instances I've genuinely felt close to death it's always been very peaceful, almost like nirvana. I remember when I was 4 I had one experience that legitimately made me feel like I was about to die and I remember the total peace of mind I felt, and sheer acceptance of what was going to happen. I was actually disappointed when I survived that one because I was so ready for it and it just didn't happen.
I think that ultimately despite how painful your attempt is, when you're finally on that precipice between life and death the only possible thing that's going to happen is that you will feel that peace. I don't really believe there's an afterlife and that peace, as beautiful as it is, is all we're going to get, and our mind knows it, so it's going to give us it if it feels that there's no chance of survival. Everything becomes okay. It's like the silver lakes on Saturn if you get deep enough into the gas giant. It's just a matter of how far you're willing to go to get there, and just how painful that journey might be.
When I've practiced finding my carotid sweet spot in a noose (to be clear, by practice I mean 'trying to find it and if I find it then I'm ending it right then and there') the last things I always say are some silly phrase ("nothing could be grander than to be in Louisiana" was the one I last remember using) and my thoughts are always about focus and technique. On the rare instances I've genuinely felt close to death it's always been very peaceful, almost like nirvana. I remember when I was 4 I had one experience that legitimately made me feel like I was about to die and I remember the total peace of mind I felt, and sheer acceptance of what was going to happen. I was actually disappointed when I survived that one because I was so ready for it and it just didn't happen.
I think that ultimately despite how painful your attempt is, when you're finally on that precipice between life and death the only possible thing that's going to happen is that you will feel that peace. I don't really believe there's an afterlife and that peace, as beautiful as it is, is all we're going to get, and our mind knows it, so it's going to give us it if it feels that there's no chance of survival. Everything becomes okay. It's like the silver lakes on Saturn if you get deep enough into the gas giant. It's just a matter of how far you're willing to go to get there, and just how painful that journey might be.
puella
she/they
- Oct 5, 2023
- 320
I'm worried about what my feelings and emotions will be. I don't want to feel afraid.
rottenflesh
Member
- Jan 8, 2024
- 61
i will probably think about giving up since i already have these thoughts and the gun isnt even in my mouth yet lol
Princess_Kitty
Lost kitty
- Jan 4, 2024
- 177
Probably not. Most likely it'll be something like "finally I'm free".
certified_idiot
No Longer Human
- Dec 5, 2023
- 83
I don't really care what my last thoughts will be because I'll be dead and it won't matter.
To be honest if I hang myself... My last thoughts will be did I tie it correctly...
hellispink
poisonous
- May 26, 2022
- 1,231
I dont care at all. The most likely thing that will happen is fear for survival instinct, but it wont be me , cause me wants to die , so i dont care
Unfortunately, I think my mind will turn to replaying memories for comfort, against my will. Memories lie. I don't want to go out while reminiscing of false lullabies.
I almost drowned once. It was peaceful eventually and I felt I had an eternity to relive every memory... I was only 5 then, so perhaps that's an unreliable account
I almost drowned once. It was peaceful eventually and I felt I had an eternity to relive every memory... I was only 5 then, so perhaps that's an unreliable account
Celerity
shape without form, shade without colour
- Jan 24, 2021
- 2,733
The realist take right here.
This is why I need something quick. I know for a fact that I do not have the willpower to push myself through an OD or something. Nope, nope, nope.
loslassen
call me jvne
- Dec 8, 2023
- 149
I kind of am, anything else like memories and good things would be a nice goodbye, I just hope it's not regret.
logi3535
even in death, may you be triumphant
- Jan 8, 2024
- 118
scared that i'll think about things that coud've been and end up crying because of it, at least if you use the SN method, feels like it gives you a decent amount of time to reflect while you're waiting to pass out, but i guess it won't matter soon enough
Guy Smiley
Just another lost soul
- Jan 4, 2024
- 459
Yes, very worried. I am afraid that whatever they are, they might be very painful. This may be stating the obvious, but I really don't want to be in a state of pain (mental or physical) when I CTB.
Thanksforeverything
A handshake of carbon monoxide
- Jul 24, 2023
- 235
"I don't know what awaits me, but I hope it's a silent void"
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On my last thoughts on my attempt for partial were....this is it...this is the end...God forgive me....this is my life...well it wasn't a great one....it will be over now....i will be at peace now....why is this taking long......is it supposed to take this long?....f*ck it! I finally got bored and aborted after sitting there and trying for like 40 minutes like a fool 
ijustwishtodie
death will be my ultimate bliss
- Oct 29, 2023
- 4,244
My last thoughts will be consumed by fear and me regretting doing it but that's only because of survival instinct and not because of me
I'm scared of having a dream about hell. I'm not convinced I believe in an actual place but I think it's pefectly possible to dream you are there. I'm bound to be feeling anxious and I get messed up dreams when I'm anxious. It really annoys me to think some of my last moments on this earth might be spent thinking about the person who made my life hell for a while.
Conscious thoughts though. I expect I'll just be thinking- I really hope this works!
Conscious thoughts though. I expect I'll just be thinking- I really hope this works!
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,145
It doesn't matter to me, as if I was about to die then soon enough I wouldn't exist anymore and nothing could concern me. Instead I'll be at peace with all forgotten about.
Yes, very much. Similar to what Neverfeltdeader said.
bramblebamblebambe
Member
- Jan 3, 2023
- 43
Most of these responses made me realise I need to prepare a list to refer to when things such as SI pop up to snap out of it. 
darkenmydoorstep
Not Waving But Browned Off….
- Sep 27, 2023
- 516
I think they would be "please let me have done this right or I'm completely fucked"
What the actual F, the minute i was reading this there was a van driving past my house with caps letter: CTB
No I'm not hallucinating
Thanks for the sign
No I'm not hallucinating
Thanks for the sign
My last thoughts, I'll be thinking of my dead girlfriend, hoping for that one in a billion chance that we'll somehow be reunited
pthnrdnojvsc
Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
- Aug 12, 2019
- 2,490
"I did it , i overcame , i finally did a rational act, the final victory" extreme happiness at this moment of my ctb finally. all my life i did stupid meaningless crap they programmed me to do . finally i get to do the one rational act I can do in my entire life.
Really is working a damn job all day then hours of horrible chores washing this disgusting animal body feeding it then get a few hours finally to yourself and what do i do watch dumb youtube videos. and then repeat it again the next day for 90 years every day is that rationaL? all the while waiting for the walls to close in the the real torture to begin , the real unbearable pain. . is that rational ? not to me . escaping unbearable pain and this prison skipping over those hells is rational to me and only one thing one act can do that.
Really is working a damn job all day then hours of horrible chores washing this disgusting animal body feeding it then get a few hours finally to yourself and what do i do watch dumb youtube videos. and then repeat it again the next day for 90 years every day is that rationaL? all the while waiting for the walls to close in the the real torture to begin , the real unbearable pain. . is that rational ? not to me . escaping unbearable pain and this prison skipping over those hells is rational to me and only one thing one act can do that.
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