Are you worried about what your last thoughts will be?

[Finalnight]

Or you don't care?

 

[KatzeK4]

Probably hoping that whatever method I do kills me, and I don't end up as a vegetable. Then my fam.

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

My last thought will most likely be something like "shit, I shouldn't have done this."

 

[Sleeper System]

" I'm so fucking happy right now! I'm so fucking happy! Fuck I dont want to do this! Please god please! Im okay. Im okay... it's okay. I'm okay. "

 

[throneofdispair03]

hoping they're not to try to convince me to "save myself"

 

[Appletree]

I am very afraid of regretful thoughts like "What have you done you stupid idiot"?

Thats funny because objectivly my life goes downhill for quite a while without any possibility of reversing.

 

[amaluuk]

I'm not particularly worried. In addition to what's going through my mind when I'm practicing and what's been in my mind when I was having a perceived near death experience, I've gotten a fill of my thoughts and they're nothing scary.

When I've practiced finding my carotid sweet spot in a noose (to be clear, by practice I mean 'trying to find it and if I find it then I'm ending it right then and there') the last things I always say are some silly phrase ("nothing could be grander than to be in Louisiana" was the one I last remember using) and my thoughts are always about focus and technique. On the rare instances I've genuinely felt close to death it's always been very peaceful, almost like nirvana. I remember when I was 4 I had one experience that legitimately made me feel like I was about to die and I remember the total peace of mind I felt, and sheer acceptance of what was going to happen. I was actually disappointed when I survived that one because I was so ready for it and it just didn't happen.

I think that ultimately despite how painful your attempt is, when you're finally on that precipice between life and death the only possible thing that's going to happen is that you will feel that peace. I don't really believe there's an afterlife and that peace, as beautiful as it is, is all we're going to get, and our mind knows it, so it's going to give us it if it feels that there's no chance of survival. Everything becomes okay. It's like the silver lakes on Saturn if you get deep enough into the gas giant. It's just a matter of how far you're willing to go to get there, and just how painful that journey might be.

 

[puella]

I'm worried about what my feelings and emotions will be. I don't want to feel afraid.

 

[rottenflesh]

i will probably think about giving up since i already have these thoughts and the gun isnt even in my mouth yet lol

 

[Princess_Kitty]

Probably not. Most likely it'll be something like "finally I'm free".

 

[certified_idiot]

I don't really care what my last thoughts will be because I'll be dead and it won't matter.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Or you don't care?

To be honest if I hang myself... My last thoughts will be did I tie it correctly...

 

[hellispink]

I dont care at all. The most likely thing that will happen is fear for survival instinct, but it wont be me , cause me wants to die , so i dont care

 

[onemorenight]

Unfortunately, I think my mind will turn to replaying memories for comfort, against my will. Memories lie. I don't want to go out while reminiscing of false lullabies.

I almost drowned once. It was peaceful eventually and I felt I had an eternity to relive every memory... I was only 5 then, so perhaps that's an unreliable account

 

[Celerity]

My last thought will most likely be something like "shit, I shouldn't have done this."

The realist take right here.

This is why I need something quick. I know for a fact that I do not have the willpower to push myself through an OD or something. Nope, nope, nope.

 

[loslassen]

I kind of am, anything else like memories and good things would be a nice goodbye, I just hope it's not regret.

 

[logi3535]

scared that i'll think about things that coud've been and end up crying because of it, at least if you use the SN method, feels like it gives you a decent amount of time to reflect while you're waiting to pass out, but i guess it won't matter soon enough

 

[Guy Smiley]

Yes, very worried. I am afraid that whatever they are, they might be very painful. This may be stating the obvious, but I really don't want to be in a state of pain (mental or physical) when I CTB.

 

[Thanksforeverything]

"I don't know what awaits me, but I hope it's a silent void"

 

[rozeske]

On my last thoughts on my attempt for partial were....this is it...this is the end...God forgive me....this is my life...well it wasn't a great one....it will be over now....i will be at peace now....why is this taking long......is it supposed to take this long?....f*ck it! I finally got bored and aborted after sitting there and trying for like 40 minutes like a fool

 

[ijustwishtodie]

My last thoughts will be consumed by fear and me regretting doing it but that's only because of survival instinct and not because of me

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm scared of having a dream about hell. I'm not convinced I believe in an actual place but I think it's pefectly possible to dream you are there. I'm bound to be feeling anxious and I get messed up dreams when I'm anxious. It really annoys me to think some of my last moments on this earth might be spent thinking about the person who made my life hell for a while.

Conscious thoughts though. I expect I'll just be thinking- I really hope this works!

 

[FuneralCry]

It doesn't matter to me, as if I was about to die then soon enough I wouldn't exist anymore and nothing could concern me. Instead I'll be at peace with all forgotten about.

 

[ctvunny]

Yes, very much. Similar to what Neverfeltdeader said.

My last thought will most likely be something like "shit, I shouldn't have done this."

 

[bramblebamblebambe]

Most of these responses made me realise I need to prepare a list to refer to when things such as SI pop up to snap out of it.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

I think they would be "please let me have done this right or I'm completely fucked"

 

[Chocoman]

What the actual F, the minute i was reading this there was a van driving past my house with caps letter: CTB
No I'm not hallucinating
Thanks for the sign

 

[outrider567]

Or you don't care?

My last thoughts, I'll be thinking of my dead girlfriend, hoping for that one in a billion chance that we'll somehow be reunited

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

"I did it , i overcame , i finally did a rational act, the final victory" extreme happiness at this moment of my ctb finally. all my life i did stupid meaningless crap they programmed me to do . finally i get to do the one rational act I can do in my entire life.

Really is working a damn job all day then hours of horrible chores washing this disgusting animal body feeding it then get a few hours finally to yourself and what do i do watch dumb youtube videos. and then repeat it again the next day for 90 years every day is that rationaL? all the while waiting for the walls to close in the the real torture to begin , the real unbearable pain. . is that rational ? not to me . escaping unbearable pain and this prison skipping over those hells is rational to me and only one thing one act can do that.