Are you ready to die?

[BellaKAT]

My SI is present but will to live is now completely gone. I plan to leave very soon. "I have accepted hope is nothing more than delayed disappointment" really resonates with me. I'm sick of waiting for things that never show up. i'm ready to go, i'm sick being in pain, i'm sick of feeling alone, i'm sick of feeling empty crushing sadness and gut wrenching anxiety. i'm ready to be free.

 

[Just do it]

I'm not sure I'm doing it right and have a lot of problems been with the same person for 20 Years feel bad for them but the alternative of going away for a long time just is scary can you tell me if the pull bar you buy for your home to do pull ups on is strong enough I'm 190lbs and I have a tie down strap it's about one ince wide with S clamps on it to attach to the pull up bar that attache above and around the door frame.

 

[Buddyluv19]

Physically, I'm ready in the sense that My illness is progressing very quickly. Over the past month, it is truly frightening how much I have gone down hill. Mentally, I know I need to get ready, but I'm having trouble with it. I find that I'm getting angry and frustrated - and I don't want to die that way.

 

[Kyrok]

Emotionally, yes.
Practically, no. Still need to buy my method of choice and finalize some financials.
Will stay around until my dog passes.

 

[Titania]

I'm not sure anymore. I'm not as motivated or committed as others here right now but I feel like when I feel ready, I will make active plans without anyone's knowledge.

 

[Roberto]

Why? Why not?

If you're ready, what are you waiting for?


If not, what is needed for you to be ready?

I don't want to leave my kitties to another one. Nobody has been in my flat since years, and I don't know how to handle the situation for them.

I'm afraid to do it, in part. I'm waiting for the situation to worsen to be convinced.
I currently have the Amitriptyline cocktail in my desk, at plain sight, to make it easier to do it when I'm done.
These last months I do live without being motivated to do it. Not much anxiety but some pain in my heart. I can stand it for the moment.
I'm waiting for the right moment. I could do it now, without any sadness. But I'm somehow addicted to reading news, playing games and watching films. Sometimes I don't want to do nothing. Other times I'm keeping alive by the routine : buying things, sweeties, alcohol, a course to managing business and trying to avoid the emptiness or the pain or the hurting thoughts.
My detonator was the anxiety and guiltiness in the past. Currently I avoid everything that provoke it.

 

[cherub]

I was but then I rediscovered some of my favorite music from various artists(LOLOL to think that that would stop me, dear God), and some of the supplies I needed I had to order later than planned(it's coming from a foreign country so it'll take even longer), due to the site being down last week. Suicide is a funny thing. It's almost like you need to feel inspired to do it in order to do it successfully, kinda like art lol.

 

[DoneBlonde]

Yes. It's sad to say. However I am at peace with it. Although I am very much aware it's going to cause unimaginable pain to the ones I love. I have had mental health issues since 8. I am now 24. I have suffered for so long , I don't even remember what happiness feels like anymore . Things have not got better in fact its got worse, uncontrollably worse. This Is not my first rodeo however I am Hoping it will be my last. I've tried so many ways since 16 , pathetic attempts but then I got serious about it. Two times I should of passed. One landing me in the trauma ward, there I went into respiratory depression. I felt warmth and saw nothing , just darkness and since that day I have been at complete peace with death. Why now tho ? I've been told by drs there is nothing they can do , I cant seek treatment either. But even if I could would that change my mind at this point. I don't think so. I am ready when I do , do it. I am waiting for my birthday to be over and done with , that will be my final goodbye to the ones I love. I want them to remember me as some smiley person , the persona/act I have perfected , I guess being a trained actor helps.

 

[lizinha]

i'm ready. just need the opportunity for my whole family to leave the house. plus need to overcome this nagging feeling of my survival instincts kicking in then i should be all set ;D

 

[wanttodie]

Yes I'm ready to die and ready to kill myself

 

[KatieW]

I'm sad to say that I am ready to die. Even though I know it will cause irreparable damage to the people around me that truly care about me, I just can't anymore.

I am bipolar and over the course of my life I've been under the care of a number of psychiatrists who have prescribed me over 30 different psych meds in various combinations, none of which have ever given me lasting relief from the depression and violent mood swings. The last time I was suicidal, I underwent a number of ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) treatments that prevented me from ctb, but I suffered severe short-term memory loss as a result. This time around I've stopped seeing a psychiatrist, stopped all psych meds and ECT isn't even close to an option. I've started planning my ctb and hopefully I'll be gone within the month. I just can't anymore......

You get me

 

[Firefly-freedom]

I'm ready to die and to kill myself but I'm scared if failing. I want it to work as I don't want to live with the disappointment from my family

 

[KatieW]

Most definitely yes. I assumed 99% would be ready for it.

 

[lost_soul83]

You get me

I'm here anytime if you wanna talk.

 

[KatieW]

I'm ready to die and to kill myself but I'm scared if failing. I want it to work as I don't want to live with the disappointment from my family

Are you sure "failure" is the real fear? (no offence please). Mine is aversion to pain. Still there are methods with acceptable failure rate than others.

 

[KatieW]

I'm here anytime if you wanna talk.

I wana talk hun

 

[Firefly-freedom]

Are you sure "failure" is the real fear? (no offence please). Mine is aversion to pain. Still there are methods with acceptable failure rate than others.

I don't mind pain too much, I really don't want to fail though, I think it is failure that I am fearful of. No offence taken

 

[Struggling]

Yes but I had the same thinking last November. Scared to fail, that neighbours will hear. Off work currently. They want me in for a meeting soon. Telling myself not to be scared. Had intense anxiety and can't leave the house unless coerced.

 

[wanttodie]

I'm ready to die and to kill myself but I'm scared if failing. I want it to work as I don't want to live with the disappointment from my family

me to I'm ready to die and to kill myself but I'm scared if failing. I want it to work

 

[Lady black]

Yes I´m ready, but just hate to do it alone

 

[KatieW]

Yes but I had the same thinking last November. Scared to fail, that neighbours will hear. Off work currently. They want me in for a meeting soon. Telling myself not to be scared. Had intense anxiety and can't leave the house unless coerced.

Oh yeah anxiety is a real bitch. Gutwrenching. So sorry for you to deal with this.

 

[lost_soul83]

I wana talk hun

You can message me anytime honey.

 

[sadgalgigi]

Yes. My SO walked in on me with an electrical extension cord around my neck attached to the roof truss of our backyard, all he said to me whilst partially hanging was "I hope you're gonna pay for damage to my property". This was 2 hours ago.

If there was one way to worsen the situation, it was him humiliating me while I was trying to kill myself.

 

[KatieW]

Yes. My SO walked in on me with an electrical extension cord around my neck attached to the roof truss of our backyard, all he said to me whilst partially hanging was "I hope you're gonna pay for damage to my property". This was 2 hours ago.

If there was one way to worsen the situation, it was him humiliating me while I was trying to kill myself.

So you stopped or did he stop you?

 

[sadgalgigi]

So you stopped or did he stop you?

He stopped me

 

[KatieW]

He stopped me

You should be lucky - I have no such excuse but cowardice.

 

[Kirkscoobz]

Yes I am ready and have been for nearly a year, the thought of dying does not scare me its rather the process of dying that does scare me, I mean the preparation and then the act itself, then if it fails you would probably end up in hospital pumped full of drugs to act normal as they say,
If I could have a full proof pain free way to go I would love it,
I have does some research into a drug readily available here in the UK called Phenegan, I did wonder if taking a large enough dose would send me to sleep peacefully and not wake up or would I have to mix it with Codeine, I have enough of these drugs together with DihydracodeineDihydracodeine.

 

[wanttodie]

Yes I´m ready, but just hate to do it alone

me to just hate to do it alone

 

[Sixfeetunder]

I am. I just am waiting for my next paycheck so I can afford a hotel room.

 

[I am ___________]

Almost. I just want to take some time to enjoy this state of relaxation that I haven't had in years before I

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"Let go your earthly tether. Enter the void. Empty, and become wind."

That is my plan as well, just to enjoy the little time I have between my set date and nothing else. A time of peace, and transition.