Discussion Are you planning on writing a note?

[Runa]

If your answer is yes, how long are you planning on making it? Will you write multiple?

Personally, I don't really want to. I have no idea what I should even say, but I want my parents to at least know that I love them. I've been staring at word for like an hour now, and I haven't even managed to write more than a paragraph. I feel like tearing my hair out! I was thinking of making a video for them instead, but I've never been the best at articulating myself due to a decade of hardly speaking. I also feel like it would be pretty disconcerting seeing a video of a family member saying goodbye for the last time, I don't know about you.

 

[crystal_meth97]

Yes, but it's going to be short and to the point. I don't see the point in explaining my decision, those who really know me won't be surprised. I just want to try to offer some solace and reassure my parents it's not their fault OR provide instructions about cremation if I'm doing it later in life and I won't have anyone close to me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes but likely quite short. A physical note for the police to confirm it's suicide and I'll likely attach notes to a delayed email to my family and friends to my solicitor. I've heard the police don't always pass notes on.

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

Yes. I have three short notes on my phone for more than a year now. One for my husband and parents, one for my daughter and one full of anger for al the "help"takers that ruined my life even more in the past year and a half. I'm planning to send the last one with an delayed e-mail 1hour after my death.

 

[Runa]

Yes, but it's going to be short and to the point. I don't see the point in explaining my decision, those who really know me won't be surprised. I just want to try to offer some solace and reassure my parents it's not their fault OR provide instructions about cremation if I'm doing it later in life and I won't have anyone close to me.

Yeah, I'm starting to think that's what I should probably do, I just really want to stress that it's no one's fault.

Yes but likely quite short. A physical note for the police to confirm it's suicide and I'll likely attach notes to a delayed email to my family and friends to my solicitor. I've heard the police don't always pass notes on.

Yeah, I was planning on sending a delayed email too as well as leaving a USB stick on my desk just in case anything goes wrong with that.

I've heard the police don't always pass notes on.

Jeez, that's so awful. Do you know if there's any reason in particular or is it just because its not their job?

 

[JKFleck]

Yes, I'd write a
"Q&A"/ FAQ note for people that claim to love me, state my reasons assuring that I'm not rash and on top of that have been also journaling what's going on in my head everyday until my planned CTB date (which will be about 5 months in total length)

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah, I'm starting to think that's what I should probably do, I just really want to stress that it's no one's fault.

Yeah, I was planning on sending a delayed email too as well as leaving a USB stick on my desk just in case anything goes wrong with that.

Jeez, that's so awful. Do you know if there's any reason in particular or is it just because its not their job?

I've heard sometimes the notes are classed as 'evidence' and not released. Not even a copy I think. I don't know how common that is. Seems weird to me. Unless of course they thought there might be foul play involved. But, if it's obviously a suicide, I agree- I think it's cruel to withold notes. Like I say, I don't know if it's common but, I'd rather have a work around in case. My solicitor would need to be contacting those people anyway.

 

[Dark Window]

It will just be to resolve my families inevitable guilt.

 

[Runa]

Yes, I'd write a
"Q&A"/ FAQ note for people that claim to love me, state my reasons assuring that I'm not rash and on top of that have been also journaling what's going on in my head everyday until my planned CTB date (which will be about 5 months in total length)

Interesting idea, I never thought about doing something like a Q&A. That might work pretty well for my situation too.

I've heard sometimes the notes are classed as 'evidence' and not released. Not even a copy I think. I don't know how common that is. Seems weird to me. Unless of course they thought there might be foul play involved. But, if it's obviously a suicide, I agree- I think it's cruel to withold notes. Like I say, I don't know if it's common but, I'd rather have a work around in case. My solicitor would need to be contacting those people anyway.

Ah, that does make sense actually, although it's stupid.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I have already written a bunch of letters and stored them away for the appropriate time. They're not detailed or long at all. Brevity and conciseness were important to me. I kind of lost interest in leaving any sort of thorough explanation although frankly my posts on this site kind of serve as that. I believe I have gone into great depth as to all my reasons here.

I've heard of notes not being released, of the investigative authorities even saying things like they had no obligation to give up "evidence." That doesn't seem to be terribly uncommon either. I never could make sense of why that was the practice except for just a huge deficit in empathy. It's bad enough that such clearly intimately directed communications have to be read by people they are not meant for (though there are ways to attempt to circumvent that I suppose).

 

[MyNameIsRavi]

I feel like when I decide to go I'd have to leave some kind of note. I don't know if I'll ever be able to put my thoughts and feelings in a way that'll ever make sense to other people but I'll inevitably end up hurting people I care about so I at least wanna try explaining myself. At the very least I'll just write something confirming that I intended to take my own life, I didn't do it impulsively, and that no one else was involved or helped me.

That being said something I've thought about is that If I went out by way of poisoning or something similar I'd probably at least have to leave a note warning people that I've drank something poisonous and not to touch or drink anything around me.

 

[Volatha]

If you write a delayed email, don't delay it too long after ctb. Sometimes companies can find that you are dead, and the account with the email provider may be disabled before the email is sent.

 

[willitpass]

The only reason I will be writing a note is for my dad. He fought so hard for me to get better for years and did everything in his power. When I got out of residential, I told him I was doing well and in recovery and I've kept up that mirage ever since for two years. If I kill myself he will believe it was impulsive or that he could have prevented it. I want him to know how thankful I am that he fought so hard and that I hid it for the last two years because I know I'm out of options and I couldn't bear to watch him suffer watching me suffer any longer. He deserved the peace of thinking I was okay. He deserved to sleep well at night.

I also want to make sure no one tries to start some bullshit suicide foundation in my name. I'm leaving in my note that if anything of the sort is going to be done that I want it to focus on finding new treatment methods. I ran out of options, don't put money into therapy or meds or "it gets better" bullshit, put it into funding something for those of us who ran out of options. I don't want anything in my name surrounding things that didn't help me, because I know there are many out there in the same position I am.

 

[Amarnd]

Leave it shrouded in mystery.

 

[eatantz]

No, I'm only going to leave my diary because that explains it all really

 

[F@#$]

I've probably written 100 notes. Nothing ever sounds good when I read it,so probably not. Unless it's just a vicious rant to create further trauma. Or maybe just a little note that says "enjoy the mess".