Discussion Are you pathetic?

[ZardozOmega]

Yes for reasons I'm too ashamed to even say

I'm curious now.

 

[TheSomebody]

i am NEET so yes

 

[Jean Améry]

Disability makes me dependent on others in order to survive in society, so probsbly.

Having a disability is not your fault therefore you shouldn't feel guilty. What makes us humans moral creatures is caring about and for others. That includes helping others with things they can't do themselves and providing the necessities of life for those who due to no fault of their own can't provide them for themselves. No-one should be made to feel inadequate or less of a human-being just because they can't contribute economically or need help. Humans can be valuable to others in lots of ways that can't be expressed in monetary value.

 

[Ghost2211]

Having a disability is not your fault therefore you shouldn't feel guilty. What makes us humans moral creatures is caring about and for others. That includes helping others with things they can't do themselves and providing the necessities of life for those who due to no fault of their own can't provide them for themselves. No-one should be made to feel inadequate or less of a human-being just because they can't contribute economically or need help. Humans can be valuable to others in lots of ways that can't be expressed in monetary value.

I wish more people looked at the way do. My family doesn't care about me and says I should figure it all out myself. They pretend disability doesn't exist.

 

[Nymph]

Yeah I'm pretty pathetic cause I literally have no motivation to do anything. The reason why I want to ctb is because I have problems, some of those problems are sort of fixable but for that I'd need money and for money you need motivation to work..which I don't have. So I'm just gonna ctb so that I don't have to do anything

 

[DeathNoot]

Definitely

 

[newave3]

One of the characteristics of depression is low self esteem. I'm not just pathetic, I completely suck.

 

[Ardesevent]

I have the whole future failure starterpack on my hands right now- fear of going outside, depressed, no motivation to fix myself, and devoting myself a major I'm interested in, but failing miserably at. Pretty pathetic.

 

[YellowSneakers]

Yes.
I have a progressive neurological condition that's stealing my physical ability. It has also taken a toll on my personality. I'm changed. More timid. More shy.
I feel like a lesser version of myself.
So yes..... I'm pathetic.

 

[Darrenloses]

with gyms closed again I feel every more pathetic yes

 

[LastFlowers]

That is how other people see me and I don't appreciate it. Not saying I never felt pathetic, I do, but it is simply a consequence of my situation and suffering, I would not say I am inherently pathetic.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I am. I am extremely weak, I break at the lightest bit of pressure and can't cope with acknowledging any flaws in myself. Not really able to get better at all because my mental state falls apart so easily.

 

[Jean Améry]

I wish more people looked at the way do. My family doesn't care about me and says I should figure it all out myself. They pretend disability doesn't exist.

Then your family is delusional and they suck or are very naïve to say the least. I don't know what disability you suffer from but I do know humans don't willingly suffer and anyone that knows anything about the human condition knows that a) humans are generally selfish (they generally take their own well-being into account and not others') and b) humans are very fragile and so much depends on so many things going right.

Whatever you decide to do you shouldn't feel guilty about things that weren't in your control. You really shouldn't.

 

[Raindryer]

Absolutely!

I'm a NEET of 7 years who can't overcome the modest obstacles set before me. I've given up on improving myself or my life so I just drag myself through each day distracting myself with video games and food because at least I can't fail at those.

Oh hey, sounds like me. Been sitting on my ass doing nothing other than playing video games since I was 17. I turned 24 last month. Parents said they're gonna throw me out when I turn 25. Fuck working, fuck going homeless. I hope I'll get myself to off myself shortly before turning 25. I really don't want to go homeless or become a wageslave.

 

[kitee80]

I am pathetic because I cannot tolerate myself and I keep going back to my shitty ex

 

[WitheringAway]

Yes!! Very VERY pathetic.. nothing of importance in my life. It's a shallow robotic existence

 

[DrWh033]

No. Not yet. But heading there.
And I will ctb before I allow myself to become a full out pathetic being. Dignified end is preferable to a life of crawling.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I think I'm as pathetic as they get.

No degree, dropped out of college because my mental health was too bad and never went back. Have to work two jobs to survive, still struggle to buy food sometimes. Eat ungodly amounts of unhealthy crap when I can, wash it down with alcohol, weight goes up and down like a yo-yo along with finances, but mostly overweight. Also ugly and visibly aging. Lost all my friends, can't get over losing a friend who didn't speak to me since 2017 and still cry myself to sleep over this loss occassionally. I don't know how I could get worse...

 

[watereyes]

Yes, obviously. If you hang around in chat with me it'll make sense.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I sure feel like I am. I've always struggled to cope with life and can really only do the bare minimum. People point out that I have a degree, but it doesn't mean shit.

It's like I stopped developing mentally when I was 12. Can't handle the real world.

 

[Kassender]

If you look it up in rhe dictionnary, you will see a picture of me to illustrate the word.

I've been NEET for nearly 2 years, i don't even do fun stuff because nothing is fun anymore.

I have finally reached 300lbs,
And i hate it, if i'm still alive this summer, i'm going to hate myself even more


Tried and failed college twice.
Got ostracized/bullied everytime as well as in every job i ever had.
I sucked at them anyway.

My 'friends' avoid me and my family too.
I never really mattered for anyone, i'm so weak, bland and forgettable. Not to mention retarded.
I just bother people until they can't put up with me anymore.
Even my mother.

And i was supposed to have done it by now. I'm a coward too.

So yeah, i think this is accurate.

 

[AutumnEmbers]

Yes, because I'm too weak to cope with life, to the point that I completely withdrew from it many years ago and have been merely existing ever since. It has to end soon.

 

[Lamebrain]

Thirty year old womanchild here, been out of work for ten years. So... yeah. Like many others here, I'm simply not cut out for society or life.

My parents tell their friends I'm an artist, heh. I tell that to myself too. A coping mechanism, I guess.

 

[Weeping Garbage Can]

aw I'm so sorry all of you lovelies feel the pain of feeling that you're pathetic, I can only imagine what a weight it is, or how painful the shame, guilt, and loathing which arise must feel ): I wish very much I could embrace all of you who would like a hug and hug you for as long as you'd like and wish and need you all are dear sentient beings with your own feelings, thoughts, wishes, needs, and strengths (or possibilities of allowing such strengths to shine, in which for those i've been so fortunate to write with who've posted here have demonstrated immense beauty and kindness over and over again <3) and deserving of such a better reality than a neglectful, cruel one as this ): i apologise deeply if i'm overstepping, all of you lovelies absolutely know what is best for you as well as yourselves best i simply think you all have more worth and beauty than you know, and even if there were none, it wouldn't matter nearly as much as your well-being, wishes, and nurturement

As for me, I'm extremely pathetic beyond any words and across all metrics, simply utter scum and garbage, failing everyone and everything. I'm so very sorry for existing too, especially when it would be better i were a corpse ): i would go further but i feel too repulsed at myself to continue writing ): i'd give all of my strength and sanity away to all the beautiful people i know if i could

*sends sweet bear hugs with comfort and cosiness within an endless stream, reaching out to everyone who would like one with additional warmth <3*

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

As for me, I'm extremely pathetic beyond any words and across all metrics, simply utter scum and garbage, failing everyone and everything. I'm so very sorry for existing too, especially when it would be better i were a corpse ): i would go further but i feel too repulsed at myself to continue writing ): i'd give all of my strength and sanity away to all the beautiful people i know if i could

*sends sweet bear hugs with comfort and cosiness within an endless stream, reaching out to everyone who would like one with additional warmth <3*

I respectfully disagree; a true scumbag wouldn't be so kind and thoughtful. We're just trapped in an awful reality and suffering together.

 

[bunnies]

definitely! i am truly such a fucking loser. i'm 31 years old and a massive burden on everyone. i cannot take care of myself, i cannot function, i have given up on everything i have ever tried and i genuinely never tried hard off. i have felt s lot like i'm just bobbing in the waves of existence and never really permanently tied to anything other than romantic fantasies that helped distract me. all i really have done is leave a massive trail of destruction in my wake. i hurt everyone and i have truly only served to make absolutely anything and everything worse than it was before it got to me. the absolute definition of pathetic by any standard

 

[AprilsBlessings]

Yes

 

[stygal]

Yes, never even tried to fight harder for possible solutions with my disability.
Never tried harder to get a better job or make something out of my life.
Never once told certain people what I actually thought of them.
If I leave ...I won't leave a mark in this world.

 

[grungeCat]

Yes.
I'm fat and I don't have any friends, not to mention girlfriend. And it's mainly my own fault.

 

[AbsoluteNothingness]

Lmfao i dont give a f*ck if im """pAtHeTiC""" or whatever tf that """"nEgAtIvE"""" 'word'/'adjective'/tYpE Of 'pErSoN' means or not. i've never at all 'considered' 'myself' to 'be' """"pAtHeTiC"""" or whatever tf that means, i don't give a damn sh*t if I'm any/whatever """"""""""nEgAtIvE""""""""" 'way'/'word'/'adjective'/tYpe oF 'pErSoN' and or whatever the f*ck, NEITHER if i'm any/whatever """"""pOsItIvE""""" 'way'/'adjective'/'word'/tYpE oF 'pErSoN' and or whatever the damn f*ck in general lmfao i just literally dont give a f*ck. I dont want to be absolutely anyone/anything in 'life' much less anyone/anything """pOsItIvE""", lmao as if I gave a f*ck if it's """positive""" or """negative""" or whatever. Im sUpPoSeD tO 'wAnT' and all that garbage just because 'i' had no choice but to 'exist', 'be'/'become' 'something'/'someone' and 'was' 'brought' 'here' and just because everyone else in general wants to but jfc why the f*ck do i have to want to too? Why is this a f*cking obligation? Why cant i literally just NOT give a damn single fcking sht about literally anything and thats it WITHOUT it being ""because of a reason""? And why the f*ck there has to be a goddamned fcking reason to [SIMPLY JUST] not want to 'experience' absolutely anything whatever/however it is, to simply just not give a shit about anything, to simply just not have any damn "interest* [and NOT want to have it no f*cking 'matter' what], to simply just not want to "be" anything/anyone/anywhere at all no 'matter' what etc, to simply just not want to 'exist as'/'exist in' literally anything/anywhere at all whatever/however it is of any type/way etc, to simply just not want to 'participate in'/'do'/'live'/'enjoy'/'know'/'belong in'/'be part of' etcetcetc ANYTHING AT ALL IN GENERAL WHATEVER/HOWEVER IT IS OF ANY TYPE, OF ANY WAY ETC AT ALL AND THATS IT??!! Is that a fcking rule that 'humans'/'people' have invented or what? it's so fcking frustrating that i yes or yes have to want to participate in/experience etc blahblah 'this'* [I DONT want to participate in/experience/do/live/exist in/explore/be part of etcetc absolutely ANYTHING in general AT ALL, whatever/however it is, no 'matter' 'what' type of 'thing'/'place' etcetc and whatever the fck it is, 'from' anything/anywhere at all and a large etc!!! I JUST DONT CARE FFS. I LITERALLY JUST DONT WANT ANYTHING. AND THAT'S IT. but well this will never be believed/understood by anyone anyways so i don't know why i keep trying to explain this and repeat it again and again, anyways for everyone in general both pro life and not 'pro life'/'pro choice', 'suicidal' and 'non-suicidal' etc there'll always have to bE a ReAsOn/rEaSoNs wHy, bEcAuSe iF tHeRe ArEnT aNy tHeN iTs a 'cHeMicAl iMbAlAnCe' iN tHe 'bRaiN' aNd iTs 'iRrAtIoNaL' and or whatever other fck that theyve invented lmfaoooooooo. And i couldnt give any less of a sh*t if "I" have a "cHeMicAl iMbAlAnCe iN tHe 'bRaiN'" or not neither if it's "iRrAtIoNaL" or not, ok i guess lmfaoooooo do i have to fcking care and 'applause' or what ] *yes or yes and if i don't iTs YeS oR YeS oNlY bEcAuSe Of A ReAsoN/bEcAuSe, lIKe For eXaMpLe bEcAuSe lIfE iN gEnErAl Or yOur lIfE iS 'bAd' aNd Or aNy oThEr 'nEgAtIvE' wAy/tYpE Of lIfE (as if i gave a damn fcking sht if 'life' 'itself' in 'general'/'my life'/'existence'/'the world'/'planet earth' and or whatever the f*ck in general is any/whatever """"""""pOsItIvE""""""" 'way'/'adjective'/type of x or any/whatever """""""""""nEgAtIvE""""""""""' 'way'/'adjective'/type of x lmfaooooo I DONT GIVE A FUUUUUUCK. why the f*ck do 'i' have to ffs? 'my life' is 'good'/'great'/'perfect'/'comfortable' and many other "pOsItIvE" ways and i don't give a damn f*ck!!! I have 'access' to/im 'allowed' to wHaTeVeR i WaNt/AnYtHiNg I wAnT blahblah and many other "pOsItIvE" things blahblah and I COULDNT CARE ANY DAMN LESS FFS I SIMPLY JUST FCKING DONT!!!!!! but well, "I" 'am' 'something'/'someone' and 'exist' and 'was' 'born'/'brought' to 'existence'/'life' blahblah and/or whatever 'all' 'this' 'is'/'is' 'called' that I'll never give not even a single f*ck no matter 'how' """gOoD"""/"""mEaNiNgFuL"""/"""eNjoYaBLe"""/"""fAiR"""/"""bEaUtIfUl"""/"""aMaZiNg"""/"""iNtErEsTiNg""" [and or any other """"pOsItIvE"""" ways/adjectives/types of x etc lmao] it is/can be, or 'how' """"bAd""""/""""mEaNiNgLeSs""""/""""pOInTlESs"'""/""""bOrInG""""/""""uNfAiR""""/""""hArD"""" [and/or any other """"""nEgAtIvE"""""" ways/adjectives/types of x etc lmao] it is/can be, neither what 'happens' and what 'things'/'events'/'situations' and or whatever tf/types of 'things'|'events'/'situations' and or whatever tf 'happen' neither 'how' 'they' 'are'/'can be', neither 'what' 'it' 'is' 'about', neither 'how' 'it' 'works', neither what "standard of life"/"structured life"/"established life"/"designed life" or whatever tf that means there is/there can be, no 'matter' 'how' 'human beings'/'people'/'society'/'humanity' are/can be, nor 'what' 'they' do/can do, neither 'how' what they 'do'/'can do' is/can be, neither what 'species'/'beings'/'entities'/'creatures'/'life forms' etc there are/there can be, and a 'large' and 'infinite' 'etcetera'. I JUST COULDNT CARE ANY LESS FFS lmao

I dont give any fcking sht (and never have 'cared' and never at all will, ffs why do i fcking have to want strictly yes or fucking yes uNlEsS tHeReS a ReAsOn/rEaSoNs wHy, 'who' tf 'said' that lmao) if "'I' 'cAn' 'hAnDlE'/'cAn' 'cOpE wItH' 'lIfE'" and or whatever tf or 'not' lmao, I dont want to (never wanted, never will, and fcking again, it's not because of ANY damn reason at all) 'hAnDlE'/'cOpE wItH' it at all anyways lmao. Why the fck do 'i' have to want to 'sUcCeD' iN 'lIfE' (or whatever tf that means lmao couldn't care less) and or whatever the f*ck in general and 'want' and want to want/'have' 'interest' 'for' and want to have it/care about and want to care about etc 'things'/'something' etc and or whatever the f*ck in general YES OR YES just because "I" had no damn 'choice' but to 'exist'/'be' 'something'/'someone'/an 'entity'/a 'being' and had no choice but to 'be' 'brought' to this obligation/must do thing uNleSs yOu DoNt WaNt iT bEcAusE oF a ReAsOn, called 'life'/'existence' that if I [SIMPLY JUST DONT WANT "IT" {NOR ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING ELSE IN GENERAL AT ALL WHATEVER/HOWEVER TF IT IS ETC} NO 'MATTER' 'HOW' TF IT IS, 'WHAT' 'HAPPENS', 'WHAT' 'THERE IS'/'THERE CAN BE' AND AN 'INFINITE' ETC!!!!! ITS NOT BECAUSE OF ANY SINGLE DAMN REASON AT ALL] dont want it, iT cAn oNlY bE bEcAusE oF "sUfFeRiNg"/"pAiN"/"sElF-hAtReD"/"aBuSe"/"bAd fAmIlY"/"dIsApPoInTmEnT"/"aNxIeTy"/"mEaNiNgLeSsNeSs"/"bOrEdOm"/"eMpTiNeSs"/"bAd LiFe"/"dEpReSsiOn" aNd Or aNy/wHaTeVeR oThEr 'rEaSoN'/'rEaSoNs' iN gEnErAl, BuT bEcAuSe oF a ReAsOn yEs Or yEs???!!! why the fck do 'I' have to yes or fcking yes 'want'/'care about' etc 'things'/'something'/""pOsItIvE"" 'things' yes or fcking yes I JUST CANT 'UNDERSTAND'!!!! why cant i literally simply basically seriously JUST DONT WANT ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING IN GENERAL AT ALL IN ABSOLUTE/LITERAL GENERAL REGARDLESS 'WHAT', 'HOW' ETC TF IT IS!!!!! NOT 'ONLY' ANYTHING 'OUT OF'/'FROM'/'IN'/'ABOUT'/'RELATED TO' 'LIFE'/'THE WORLD'/'PLANET EARTH'/'CONSCIOUSNESS'/'EXISTENCE' NO 'MATTER' 'WHAT'/'HOW' TF IT IS, NO 'MATTER' 'WHAT' TYPE OF 'THING' ETC IT IS, BUT ABSOLUTELY/LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE/ANY OTHER 'THING'|'PLACE' ETC IN GENERAL AT ALL OF ANY TYPE, ANY WAY, ANY 'FORM', ANY 'DIMENSION', ANY 'MATTER'/'ENERGY' OR WHATECER TF THAT MEANS LMAO, WHATEVER/HOWEVER THE DAMN F*CK IT IS, 'FROM' LITERALLY ANYTHING/ANYWHERE AT ALL WHATEVER HOWEVER IT IS, NO 'MATTER' WHAT 'THINGS'/'TYPES OF THINGS' AND OR WHATEVER TF 'THERE IS'/'THERE ARE'/'THERE CAN BE', NO 'MATTER' WHAT 'SPECIES'/'BEINGS'/'ENTITIES' AND OR WHATEVER TF 'THERE IS'/'THERE ARE'/'THERE CAN BE' ETC, NO 'MATTER' WHAT 'HAPPENS'/WHAT 'THINGS'|TYPES OF 'THINGS' 'HAPPEN' NEITHER 'HOW' 'THEY' 'ARE' ETCETCETC!!!!!!!
Why tf do i have to care about/have 'interest' for/want to 'experience'/'participate in'/'be part of'/'do'/'live'/'enjoy' etcetc 'life'/'existence'/'the world' etcetc blabla uNleSs ThErEs A rEaSoN wHy I sAy I dOnT. jeeeeesus fucking damn christ (i'm an 'atheist', I dont give a f*ck 'who' tf "jesus christ" is or whatever tf, its just an 'expression' lol) why do 'i' have to yes or fcking yes for f*cks sake why cant i just simply not give any damn sh*t about/not 'want' etc absolutely anything at all no 'matter' 'what'/'how' etc it is and THATS IT???!!!! This is clearly a fcking obligation lmao, i wAs BoRN i hAd nO cHoiCe BUt tO bE bOrN aNd eXiSt sO tHaT mEaNs i hAvE tO yEs oR yEs cArE aBoUt tHiS aNd hAvE iNtErEsT fOr tHis aNd wAnT tO lIvE/eXpErIeNcE/dO/pArTiCiPaTe In It aNd iF i dOnT iTs bEcAuSe Of a ReAsoN oR iM a NiHiLiSt/aNtInAtAlIsT Or tHeReS a cHeMicAl iMbAlAnCe iN tHe bRaIn bEcAuSe tO sImpLy jUsT NoT wAnT eTc aNyThInG aNd tHaTs iT wIthOuT aNy ReAsOn At AlL iTs ImPoSsIbLe aNd iRrAtIoNaL (as if i gave a fck lmfao) tHeRe HaS tO bE a ReAsOn/rEaSoNs WhY yEs Or yEs. damn fcking sh*t, if only DYING/STOPPING 'EXISTING' FOR ALL ETERNITY was easy and quick I'd be finally gone/i'd finally NOT 'exist' at all/NOT 'be' literally anything/anyone/anywhere eternally in a matter of seconds, but this has to be obligatory yes or fcking yes and having a rEaSoN wHy is a rEqUiReMeNt even for non pro-lifers/suicidals, so...

I 'personally' or whatever the fck "personally" means couldnt give any damn less of a fuck if Im """"pAtHeTiC"""" or whatever tf that """"nEgAtIvE"""" 'adjective'/'word' means or not. I just dont want to 'exist' nor 'be' anything/anyone/anywhere at all, nor 'live'/'experience'/'be part of'/'belong to'/'participate in'/'explore'/'enjoy'/'inhabit'/'do'/'know'/'live in'/'exist in'/'learn' etcetcblabla absolutely ANYTHING/ANYWHERE in general AT ALL, of any type at all, whatever/however/'wherever' etc it is etc ffs, and never at all will no 'matter' 'what'. And i couldnt care any fcking less if I'm ""lAzY"", ""uSeLeSs"" ""sTuPiD"", ""wOrThLeSs"", ""bOrInG"" or wahtever the fck those """"""negative""""" {as if i gave a fck if it's """negative""" or """positive""" or whatever tf lmao} 'words'/'adjectives' mean lmao don't give a sh*t and or any/whatever other """""""nEgAtIvE""""""" 'ways'/'adjectives'/types of 'person' in general or not, I dont give a damn fcking sh*t and simply never will lmfaoooo. My 'parents'/'family' want/love [or whatever tf "love"/"want" means i dont give a shit lmao] me a lot and and 'worry'/'care about'** [[i put the 'words' between ' ' not because "it isnt true", lmao i dont give a shit if it's 'true' or 'not true' in the first place lol. it's true, they do 'care'/'worry' about 'me'/my 'health' blahblah and all that 'positive" crap and so what lmao i don't give a shit, never had and simply never will. i 'put' 'commas' 'between' 'words' because i literally simply just dont give a shit about the 'meaning' of any f*cking 'word'/'thing' in general at all, neither how the f*ck is 'written' but well i have no choice but to'care'andallthatcrap because 'I'm' 'someone'/'something'/'i' 'exist' and it's an obligation to want to 'know'/'learn' etc 'things' and all that crap lmfao jfc what a damn bullsht that 'i' can't just not "be" absolutely/literally anything at all/not 'exist' at all and that's it and that i can't just not 'want'/not give a damn sh*t about absolutely ANYTHING in general AT ALL WITHOUT it being bEcAusE oF a ReAsOn, why tf this has to be an obligation and i can't just not want etc 'it' no f*cking 'matter' 'how' etc tf it is for fucks sake, i'll never f*cking understand why but well lmao]] **my 'physical'/'mental' 'health' and want it to be 'good'/'great' blabla whatever tf that means lmao, and and 'ask' 'me' 'how' 'am I'/'how' do 'i' 'feel' and want 'aLl ThE bEsT' for me and bla bla and and they allow me and want me to have 'fReEdOm' and 'iNdEpEnDeNcE' and 'dEcIdE' 'fOr MySeLf'/'oN mY OwN'/mAkE mY 'oWn DeCiSioNs' blahblahblah, and so many other ''''pOsItIvE'''' crap in general, and i couldnt give any damn less of a fck lmfao, and 'they' want me to 'be' as 'happy' and 'content' {or whatever tf that means lmao} and 'healthy' and 'satisfied' and 'fulfilled' and 'comfortable' and blahblah whatever other ''''pOsItIvE''''' way/'sTaTeS oF mInD'/sTaTeS oF bEiNg'/'adjective' blahblah with 'myself' and 'my life' and blahblah 'as much as possible' blah blah, and many other ''''pOsItIvE'''' crap in general and i dont givea damn fcking sht lmfao{{******}} [[[lmao i dont give a shit if im 'happy' or whatever tf that 'word'/'adjective' means or not, i perfectly can/could be 'hApPy' if I actually cared about it/wanted to/was 'interested' in BeInG' 'hApPy' and or whatever other crap in general but i just simply just f*cking dont, never wanted and never will lmfao. Neither any """"positive""""" way nor any """"""negative""""""" way, i just dont give a shit ffs. everything, anything, will always be completely 'indifferent' or whatever tf that means, to me and thats fcking it jfc, why tf do i have to want to 'be' something/someone, why tf do i have to fcking yes or yes 'care' (and 'want' to 'care') about 'things', why tf do i yes or yes have to want to 'experience' etc 'life'/'existence' and or whatever the damn fck in general***
(I dont give a sh*t and never will, 'how' '''''bAd'''''' or 'how' '''''gOoD''''''' it* and anything/everything/whatever 'thing'/'place' etc of whatever type etc in general *is/can be etc blah blah, neither 'what' 'happens', neither if what happens is any/whatever ''''pOsItIvE''''' or any/whatever '''''''nEgAtIvE'''''''' way'/'thing'/type of 'thing' etc blahblah and or whatever tf lmaooooooo, as well as i dont give a sh*t about literally anything else in general at all, any other fcking 'aspect' of anything, whatever/however tf it is) **yes or fcking yes UnLeSs i DoNt BeCaUsE Of A rEAsOn. jesus fcking daaaamn christ, but why the fck there has to be a goddamn reason yes or fcking yes lmfao, is that a fcking 'rule'/'requirement' or what lmfao. why cant I simply just not give a damn single shit about absolutely/literally anything in general at all of any type, any way, whatever/however tf it is, 'from' anything/anywhere etc of any type, any way, whatever/however tf it is etc etc etc AND THATS BASICALLY FCKING IT WITHOUT IT BEING BECAUSE OF ANY DAMN REASON/REASONS AT ALL FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!
[[[*******]]]] i couldn't care any less about not only 'myself' or whatever tf "myself" means neither 'how' 'i' 'am' nor if 'im' any/whatever """"pOsItIvE"""" or """""""nEgAtIvE""""""" 'way'/type of 'person' or whatever tf and i can/could perfectly be 'happy' if i wanted to lmfao but i simply just DONT want to ffs and never will want to 'be' ANY "pOsItIvE" way in general at all, nor any way at all in general, i just don't give a shit about anything ffs why the f*ck do 'i' have to 'care' about/'want' etc 'things'/'something' yes or f*cking yes lmao. 'obviously' to not make not only 'my' 'parents'/'my' 'family' but anyone else in general 'suspect' and assume crap like that iM "dEpReSsEd" and or whatever tf in general, i've always had and will always have no choice but to 'pretend' that i 'want' to 'be'/'care' 'about' 'being' 'happy' and 'act' 'happy' and 'nOrMaL' and 'interested' in 'things' and all that fcking bullshit bEcAuSe tHaTs The NoRmAl tHiNg, If yOu DoNt, ItS bEcAuSe YoUrE dEpReSsEd AnD mEnTaLlY iLl In GeNeRaL, aNd Or iTs BeCaUsE Of AnY oThEr ReAsOn YeS oR yEs. and well, if I didnt pretend that and force myself to that, and well, pretend/force myself to 'things' in general, to 'pose' as 'much as possible' as if 'im' another one/one more of/like basically all of you and literally anyone/everyone else in general/all 'people' in general, both 'prolife' and not, 'prochoice' and not, 'suicidal' and not, etcetc to not be any 'suspicious' at all and to not be fcking assumed to 'be' ''dEpReSsEd'' and/or any other ''mEnTAl iLlneSs'', and/or any other ''''negative' thing'''/''''bad' thing'''/'''problem'''/'''issue''' and/or whatever tf lmao, and/or that 'something' ''''bAd'''' 'happens' to 'me', and or whatever tf in general, and/or whatever other 'rEaSoN' in general. and to not be fcking forcedly 'sent' to any fcking 'psychiatrist'/'psychologist' or whatever tf that is, 'against' or whatever tf that means my fcking 'will' FOR NO REASON AT ALL, 'although' (*)'they', as theyll never 'understand'/'believe/''comprehend' that its POSSIBLE (and im 'proud' or whatever tf "pRoUd" means of it and always will lol) TO JUST SIMPLY NOT 'WANT'/NOT 'CARE' 'ABOUT'/NOT 'HAVE' ANY DAMN 'INTEREST' FOR ETC ETC ETC LITERALLY ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING IN GENERAL AT ALL OF ANY TYPE, ANY WAY ETC, WHATEVER/HOWEVER TF IT IS IN GENERAL AT ALL, AND NOT WANT TO AND THATS IT. AND ITS NOT BECAUSE OF ANY FCKING DAMN REASON AT ALL. why tf it has to be because of a damn fcking rEaSoN yes or yes? i 'want' a fcking 'explanation' lmao. whats so """"wEiRd"""" or whatever tf that means about literally simply basically just not giving a damn fck about anything and just not wanting to 'experience'/'enjoy'/'participate in'/'be part of'/'know'/'live'/'do' etc ANYTHING AT ALL of any damn type, any damn way, whatever and however the f*ck it is AND THATS IT, WITHOUT IT BEING BECAUSE OF A DAMN FCKING 'REASON' FFS, WHY. THE. FCK. THERE. HAS. TO. BE. A. DAMN. FCKING. REASON. FFS. why cant i JUST NOT WANT ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL NO FCKING 'MATTER' 'WHAT', 'HOW', 'WHERE' ETCETC 'IT' 'IS' AND THATS FCKING IT???? i """cAnT""" just because some 'human being'/'person' 'once' fucking felt like it? jfc this is clearly a must-do 'thing' 'prison' there has to be a goddamn fcking rEaSoN wHy to want to stop 'existing'/to not 'be' anything anyone anywhere at all/to not 'be part of'|'participate in'/to not 'experience' etc anything at all and just "be" nothing/nowhere at all and that's it, even tho "I" never at all 'asked' to 'exist'/'be' 'born'/'be'|'become' 'something'|'someone'/'be' forced into a 'body'|'human body'|'brain'|'mind' nor 'into' anything else in general at all, and "I" never 'asked' to 'be' 'brought' ANYTHING/ANYWHERE AT ALL OF ANY TYPE, ANY WAY, WHATEVER/HOWEVER TF IT IS, NO 'MATTER' 'WHAT' TYPE/KIND OF 'THING'/'PLACE' ETCBLAHBLAH AND OR WHATEVER TF IT IS ETC, NOT ONLY TO 'THIS'/'ANY OF THIS' WHATEVER/HOWEVER TF IT IS, BUT ANYTHING/ANYWHERE ELSE IN GENERAL AT ALL, AT. ALL.!!!!! but well, "i" had no damn 'choice', it was all inevitable and it was against my will so "i" yes or yes was gonna 'be' 'born'/'be'|'become' 'something'|'someone', a 'being'/'entity'/'life form'/'species'/'person'/'human being' or whatever tf all that is/is called lmao and 'be' 'brought' "here" yes or yes so bc of that, "i" 'automatically' have to yes or yes 'experience'/'participate in' etc whatever 'all' 'this' 'is' and want to and care about it/be 'interested' in it bEcAusE i WaS bOrN sO i YeS Or YeS hAvE tO (what if i simply just fcking dont no fcking 'matter' what and thats fcking it ffs lmao. why the damn fck that isn't possible jfc) aNd iF i DoNt ItS bEcAusE oF a ReAsOn, tO wAnT tO lIvE LifE aNd eXiSt aNd eXpErIeNcE/dO/eNjOy ThInGs iS pArT Of HuMaN nAtUrE (as if i gave a damn fcking shit if ItS """"pArT oF "hUmAn nAtUrE""""" or not or whatever the fuck lmfaoooooooo) jesus fcking christ. its SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING that i cant literally simply just dont fcking 'want' etc LITERALLY/COMPLETELY/ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL ANYTHING 'FROM' ANYWHERE/ANYTHING WHATEVER/HOWEVER IT IS, ANYTHING NO 'MATTER' 'WHAT'/'HOW' ETC IT IS, ANYTHING OF ANY TYPE/WAY ETC AT ALL ETCETC AND THATS IT WITHOUT IT BEING BECAUSE OF ANY DAMN FCKING 'REASON'/TYPE OF 'REASON' IN. GENERAL. AT. ALL. (*)would be constantly insisting and assuming that its because of a reason or reasons yes or yes, that theres a reason/reasons why yes or yes and all that fcking bullshit garbage crap so, lmao ----- {******} and or whatever/any other ""pOsItIvE"" crap that literally everyone wants to/cares about and i just couldn't give any less of a f*ck lmfao and I just will never fcking 'understand' why tf do i have to want yes or yes 'happiness'/'joy'/'satisfaction'/'fulfillment'/'meaning'/'purpose'/'rEaSoN tO lIvE'/'sOmEtHiNg tO lIvE fOr'-'eNjOyMeNt' and or whatever/any other f*cking """"pOsItIvE"""" crap like thatand in general and if i don't iTs bEcAuSe oF a ReAsOn, iTs BeCAuSe tHeReS sOmE 'sErIoUs' 'cHeMicAl' 'iMbAlAnCE' iN tHe 'bRaIn' and or because of whatever/any oThEr 'rEaSoN'/'rEaSoNs' iN gEnErAl. As if i gave a damn fcking sh*t if tHeReS a ChEmIcAl iMbAlAnCe or whatever tf that means iN tHe 'bRaIn' or not lmfao i simply just don't f*cking give a damn flying shit not 'only' about it but about ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING ELSE IN GENERAL AT ALL WHATEVER/HOWEVER TF IT IS/IT CAN BE ETCETCBLAHBLAH and i simply just f*cking dont and that's it whether it's believed or not and i SHOULDNT be f*cking obligated/forced to care about and or want and or want to 'do' and or any other 'verb'/'action' in general and or to 'be' 'interested' in and or to want to 'be'/'do'/'have' and or any other 'verb' 'things'/'something' in general/'ways'/tYpEs oF 'pErSoN'/"""""pOsItIvE""""" 'things'/types of 'things'/'ways'/'kiNdS' Of 'pErSoN' blahblah and or whatever the damn f*ck, ffs. why can't i just not give not even a single damn flying fuck about absolutely anything of any type, any way, regardless of 'what'/'how'/'where'/'from' 'where'/what 'type' of 'thing'|'place'|'activity'|'person' etcetcblabla 'it' 'is'/'it' 'can be' etc NOT being because of ANY f*cking 'reason'/'reasons' in general literally AT ALL and that's fucking it ffs!!!!!! FOR. FUCKS. SAKE. WHY. THE. F*CK. CAN'T. THAT. BE. POSSIBLE. i can/could perfectly be 'happy' or whatever tf "hApPy" means i dont give a shit lmao, and or any other ""pOsItIvE"" 'way'/'state' of 'being'/'adjecrtive' of aNy tYpE i wAnT {IF I WANTED TO FFS I SIMPLY JUST DONT AND NEVER WILL FFS WHY CAN'T I SIMPLY JUST FUCKING DONT AND THAT'S IT LMAO and i don't give a damn sh*t if it's """iRrAtIoNaL"""/"""iNcOhErEnT"""/"""iLlOgIcAl""" or whatever the damn f*ck those 'words'/"""nEgAtIvE""' 'adjectives' mean and or if it's any/whatever other """"""""nEgAtIvE"""""""" way/adjective. I literally couldnt care any f*cking damn less lmfaoooooooo} and 'have'/can 'have'/have 'access' to/have 'fReEdOm' to eVeRyThIng/aNyThIng/wHaTeVeR 'tHiNg'|tYpE oF 'tHiNg' etcetc blabla ""tHaT 'i WaNt'""/""tHaT iS nEeDeD|tHaT oNe CaN wAnT tO bE 'hApPy' aNd 'sAtIsfIeD' aNd 'fUlFiLlEd'"" and bLahBlAh all that ""pOsItIvE"" crap and i literally just couldn't give any less of a goddamn f*ck, jfc why the f*ck do i have to care yes or f*cking yes *just because 'i' have no choice but to 'be' 'born'/ 'be' 'brought' to whatever tf 'all' 'this' 'is', that ill never care 'how' tf it is, neither 'what' it is, neither if whatever tf is any/whatever ''''pOsitIvE'''' or any/whatever ''''''nEgAtIvE'''''' way blahblah, neither 'what' 'happens', nor 'what' 'there is'/'there can be' etcetc and no 'matter' anything else in general at all. *just because 'i' had no damn choice but to 'exist' and 'be' 'something'/'someone' and 'be' 'inside' a 'meat carcass'/'meat suit'/bunch of 'flesh' or however tf to call it apparently called 'human body'/'body'/'brain'/'mind' or whatever tf that is, iliterally just don't want to "be"/'be inside' ANYTHING/ANYONE/ANYWHERE ETC AT ALL IN GENERAL, not only 'be'/'be' 'inside' ANY 'human body'/'body'/'brain'/'mind' in general however tf it is/however tf it 'looks like'/no fcking 'matter' how "aTtRaCtIvE"/"hEaLtHy"/"fUnCtIoNaL"/"uSeFuL" blah blah and or any other """""pOsItIvE""""" ways 'it' 'is/'can be' etc blah blah and all that f*cking crap in general, but literally/absolutely ANYTHING ELSE IN GENERAL AT ALL OF ANY TYPE WHATEVER|HOWEVER ETC IT IS/ANY OTHER 'THING' IN GENERAL|TYPE OF 'THING' IN GENERAL|TYPE OF 'BEING'|TYPE OF 'SPECIES' ETC WHATEVER/HOWEVER ETC TF IT IS OF ANY TYPE, ANY WAY, ANY FORM, ANY 'SHAPE', 'FROM' ANYTHING/ANYWHERE AT ALL OF ANY TYPE, ANY 'DIMENSION', ANY 'WAY' ETC WHATEVER/HOWEVER IT IS AND A 'LARGE' ETC. "I" literally just dont want to 'be' nor 'experience' nor 'participate in' nor 'explore' nor 'do' nor 'be part of' etcetc LITERALLY ANYTHING IN GENERAL AT ALL, ABSOLUTELY A N Y T H I N G I N G E N E R A L AT ALL AND THAT'S IT!!!!!! that's. basically. it. i just dont and never at all will.
****and i basically just don't give a sh*t about anything in general at all, not only about 'happiness'/'joy'/'satisfaction'/'fulfillment' and whatever other ""pOsItIvE"" bullshit in general, but i just dont f*cking care and never at all will about literally ANYTHING IN GENERAL AT ALL of ANY type, ANY way, whatever/however tf it is and THATS FCKING IT!!!!!! ITS NOT BECAUSE OF ANY DAMN FCKING 'REASON'/'REASONS' AT ALL FOR FUCK'S GODDAMN SAKE lmao. I have the 'ability' [or whatever tf that means, couldnt care any less lmao] to 'mAnY tHiNgS', 'aNyThInG/wHaTeVeR i WaNt', and all that crap and i couldnt give any damn less of a fuck lmfao -------- [[[*******]]] but about literally anyone no 'matter' 'how'/'what'/'who' tf it is lmao and i dont say it because of any damn reason, i simoly just couldn't care any less 'how'/'who'/'what' 'i' and literally anyone/everyone else/any other 'person' blahblah 'am'/'is'/'are' lmfao i just don't give a fuck for fucks sake, neither if 'I' and or any other 'person'/anyone|everyone else in general 'am'/'is'/'are' any/whatever """""pOsItIvE""""" 'adjective'/'way'/'way' of 'being'/type of 'person'/'aTtRiBuTe'/'qUaLiTy'/tYpE oF 'pErSonAlItY' blahblah and or whatever tf or 'I' and or any other 'person'/anyone|everyone else in general 'am'/'is'/'are' any/whatever """""""""""nEgAtIvE"""""""""""" adjective/way/type of 'person'/'way' of 'being'/tYpE oF 'pErSonAlItY'/'dEfEcTs' blahblah and or whatever tf lmfao i just couldn't care any fcking less ffs. 'they' want all that ''positive'' things for 'me' and well basically ""wHaTeVeR i WaNt"" and i couldn't care any less lmao. I've never had and dont have any 'physical' nor 'mental'/'emotional' 'pain'/'suffering'/'illnesses'/'disabilities' of any type in any way about anything and i couldn't care any less lmao. i dont give a damn shit 'how' ''''''good'''''' or how ''''''''bad'''''''' 'my life'/'life'/'existence' blahblahetc is/can be etc lmfao, i'll never give a shit and it'll never ''afFeCt'' me in any way lmfao, i dont give a shit that 'my life' is 'perfect'/'great'/'good'/'comfortable' blahblah and/or any other ''''pOsItIvE'''' 'way'/'adjective'/'type' of 'life' blaahblaah lmfao. why tf do i have to be '''hApPy''' and '''gRaTeFuL''' and all that bullshit lmfao, why cant I just not want etc anything ffs. I literally just dont want ANY 'life' of literally/absolutely ANY 'type'/'kind' etc, no matter 'how' tf it is lmao. I simply just dont want to 'have'/'live'/'enjoy'/'experience' etc ANY 'life' at all, of ANY type, ANY kind, ANY way etc at all, no matter how it is, in any single damn way, NO 'matter' how '''''bAd''''' or how ''''''gOoD''''' etc blah blah it is/it can be lmfao. I dont give a sht and i simply just dont want, never wanted and never at all will no fcking matter what etc, to 'do' etc ANYTHING 'with'/'in' 'my life'/'life' 'itself' in general ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING IN GENERAL AT ALL OF ANY TYPE, ANY WAY, NO MATTER 'WHAT'/'HOW' ETC THE FUCK IT IS ETC I SIMPLY JUST DONT AND THATS IT MUCH LESS ANYTHING '''''PoSiTiVe''''' lmfaooooo
---
'they' 'also' 'say' that I have the right or whatever tf "right" means, (dont give a shit about the 'meaning' of that 'word' nor about the 'meaning' of literally any 'word' in general at all lol) to 'be' "hOwEvEr i wAnT"/"tHe KiNd oF 'pErSoN' i wAnT", to 'do'/'like'/'enjoy'/'experience' etcetc "wHaTeVeR 'mAkEs mE hApPy'/wHaTeVeR i 'wAnT'/'lIkE'/aM 'iNtErEsTeD' iN etcetc", to 'live' 'life' in general and 'my' 'own' 'life' "tHe wAy i wAnT tO/hOwEvEr i wAnT tO" aNd "tAkInG tHe 'pAtH' 'i wAnT tO" and bla bla bla many other """positive""" crap like that/in general and I dont give a single sht lmao. I literally simply just dont want to 'be' anything at all, anyone at all, any way at all much less any """positive""" 'way'/'thing' etc at all, any type of 'person' at all much less any """positive""" type of 'person', nor 'do' anything at all, nor 'live' 'my life'/'life' 'itself' 'in general' in any damn way at all nor 'have'/'live' any type of 'life' nor any 'way' of 'life' nor any 'lifestyle' etc at all however it is lmao, I just dont, never wanted and never will jfc. 'They' also say i'm a lot of """pOsItIvE""" 'ways'/'adjectives'/types of 'person'/types of 'personalities' and blahblah whatever tf and all that """positive""" crap in general and ive always been/will always be like: ok i guess...? I couldn't care any less if they 'love'/'want' 'me' and or whoever tf or not neither "what"/"how"/"who" "I" and or whoever the fck in general "am"/"is"/"are" lmfao. *Why am i 'supposed' to care, act "gRaTeFuL" or whatever tf that means and 'thank' them, 'fEeL' 'gOoD' and all that bullshit yes or yes "unless I dont because of a reason/reasons"?  why can't i just not give not even a single damn fcking sht about/not 'have' any damn 'interest' for|about etcetc [and DONT want to and NEVER will at all no 'matter' what] 'exactly'/'literally'/'absolutely'/'basically' ANYTHING in general AT ALL and that's it and NOT being because of ANY damn f*cking reason/reasons at all?! just because 'humans'/'people' say so and feel like it that there has/there have to be a ReAsOn/rEaSoNs yes or yes?! Lmao and i literally couldn't give any less of a damn fck if 'humans'/'people' say that or not, that wont change the fact or whatever tf "fact" means that i simply just dont 'want' etc anything in general at all whatever/however it is and never at all will lmfao. I literally just will never f*cking 'understand' why tf there has to be a ReAsOn wHy yes or f*cking yes but well. *and exactly the same I'd 'think'/'react' if they told me that im any/whatever """"""""nEgAtIvE"""""""" 'ways'/'adjectives'/types of 'person'/'personalities' or whatever tf that means, i couldn't care any less and never will and it wouldn't """aFfEcT""" 'me' at all in any way lmao, why tf does it have to ""aFfEcT"" 'me'? Why cant i just don't give a damn sh*t? 

And as if i gave a fcking sht if anything/'something'/whatever 'thing' and or whatever tf is """"positive"""" or if it's """"negative"""" in the first place lmfao. I simply just don't give a damn single shit about absolutely anything in general and never at all have had, i simply just don't and thats it and i have no ""problem"" with that ffs why the f*ck should i have to? lmao. not only i just dont 'want' etc anything 'in'/'about'/'from'/'related to' 'life'/'existence'/'the world'/'planet earth' etc whatever/however the fck it is and no fcking 'matter' what type of 'thing' etc it is, but literally/basically/absolutely ANYTHING else in general at all of any types/ways etc at all, whatever/however the f*ck it is, 'from' anything/anywhere else in general at all, whatever/however the fck it is lmao and I've never had any "necessity"/"need" to 'want'/want to 'want' care/want to care etcetc and i simply never f*cking will lol. I'm not "empty" nor have any "chEmIcAl iMbAlAnCe iN tHe bRaiN" [although literally everyone in general would assume that it's a ""chemical imbalance""/""nEuRoLoGiCaL pRoBlEm"" iN tHe 'bRaIn' bEcAuSe ThErE aReNt aNy rEaSoNs aT aLl, lmfao why tf there has to be one for fuck's sake? i literally just don't give a shit and don't want to/don't have any "need" nor "intention" nor "desire" to and i simply never will lmao. literally NOTHING "bad" nor any other type of """"nEgAtIvE"""" 'thing' has ever 'happened' to 'me' nor 'happens' to 'me'/'in my life' and so what lol, I couldn't care any less, and there's nothing at all that i 'want'/'need'/'desire'/'wish'/'care about'/'have' 'interest' in etcetc AT ALL and so what too lmfao, I just dont and dont want to want to and i simply at all never will whatever/however anything/everything/whatever 'thing', type of 'thing'/'activity'/'place' etc is/isnt/can be/will be lmfao i literally just dont want anything and have never 'felt' the "necessity"/"need" and i simply NEVER at all will and it's not because of ANY damn 'reason' at all lmfao and i dont give a fck if it's not 'believed'/'comprehended'/'understood', that'll never change the fact that I literally simply just dont give a damn shit about absolutely anything in general at all and i simply never will] nor "bored", nor "numb", nor "nihilist", nor "depressed", nor "apathetic", nor "uNaBlE tO fEeL 'pLeAsUrE'/'eNjOyMeNt'/'sAtIsFaCtIoN'/jOy'/'hApPiNeSs'/'fUlFiLlMeNt'" etcblahblah and or whatever the fck in general lmfao, NOR absolutely anything else like that in general lmao. It's not any of that nor any other "bad thing"/"problem"/"issue"/"negative thing"/'reason' at all. I simply just DONT f*cking want to/dont 'want' etc and never will absolutely ANYTHING no 'matter 'how'/'what' it is etc and that's IT and there aren't ANY 'reasons' at all lmao whether it's believed or not. Ive never wanted, dont want and simply never at all will want to 'be' any f*cking damn way/type of 'person' at all, much less ANYTHING """pOsITiVe"""/any """pOsItIvE""" way in general at all (as if i gave a fck if it's """""pOsItIvE"""""" or """"""""nEgAtIvE""""""" or however the damn fuck) like 'for example' "uSeFuL", "sElF SuFfIcIeNt", "wOrThY", "sMaRt", "vAlUaBlE", "iMpOrTaNt", "iNtErEsTiNg", "sIGnIfiCaNt", "iNtElLiGeNt" "iNdEpEnDeNt", "pReTtY", "aTtRaCtIvE" (as if i gave a damn fcking shit if a 'meat mask'/'meat suit' is """pretty""" or """ugly""" or however the fuck lmfao let 'me' just not 'be' absolutely ANYTHING/ANYONE/ANYWHERE at all ffs i simply just don't want to 'participate in' 'existence'/'life' etc however tf it is etc NOR literally ANYTHING else in general at all 'from' anything/anywhere, whatever/however the fck it is, of any type/way etc at all) NOR literally ANY other """"pOsItIvE"""" ways/adjectives/'ways of being'/'kinds' of 'person' or whatever tf all that ""pOsItIvE"" garbage bullshit crap is lmfao don't give a shit

"I" simply just dont want to 'be' absolutely ANYTHING/ANYONE at all in 'life' and never at all will no 'matter' what 'happens' etc lol. I simply just dont, simply never wanted and simply never at all will and dont have and never will any "iNtEnTiOn" nor "nEcEsSiTy"/"nEeD" nor "dEsIrE" nor "iNtErEsT" to want to 'be' 'someone'/'something' in 'life' and or whatever the fck lmao. Ive simply NEVER wanted and simply NEVER will to 'leave' a 'mArK' in 'lIfE'/'tHe wOrLd' nor anything/anywhere else at all whatever tf it is, neither 'how' it is, neither what type of 'thing'/'place' etc and or whatever the fck it is, ffs why do i have to yes or fcking yes???!!! i couldn't care any damn less if iM 'sOmEOnE'/'sOmEtHiNg' or not lmfao why the damn do i have to want to yes of fucking yes? why can't i just not give a single damn shit about absolutely anything NO 'matter' at all 'what'/'how' etc it is and THATS. BASICALLY. IT. and WITHOUT it being bEcAuSe Of A rEaSoN/rEaSoNs/bEcAuSe Of tHiS aNd tHaT/bEcAusE 'tHiS' aNd oR 'tHaT' 'hApPeNs' To 'mE'/bEcAuSe 'tHiS' aNd Or 'tHaT' iS 'tHiS' oR 'tHaT' 'tHiNg'/'wAy' blahblah and or whatever other 'reason' in general???!!! I simply just will never fcking 'understand' why the fck am i obligated/forced to yes or yes care about/want/have "interest" for etcetc (and want to want to lmao) 'things'/'activities' etc and or whatever the fck in general yes or yes, 'something' in general wHaTeVeR iT iS bUt sOmEtHiNg, and if i dont it's yES oR yEs bEcAusE oF a ReAsOn/ReAsOnS, ffs why lmao I just cant 'understand' or whatever tf "understand" means and never will why this (referring to 'life'/'existence' etc in general regardless of 'how' tf/what 'way' it is and also 'caring' 'about'/'liking'/'wanting'/'being' 'interested' in|for|about/'wanting' to 'do' and or 'enjoy' and or 'experience' and or 'know' and or 'explore' and or 'learn' and or any/whatever other 'action'/'verb' etc in general and referring to literally anything/everything/whatever 'thing'|type of 'thing' etc in general whatever it is etc. I just don't/dont want to want to and never will at all lmao, and i NEITHER 'like' NOR 'dislike'/'hate' ANYTHING/ANYONE ETC in general at all whatever/however etc it is, it's that I just don't care ffs i literally just dont give a damn f*ck never had gave a f*ck and never at all will and THATS. BASICALLY. IT. it's not because of any damn reason/reasons at all ffs, whether it's f*cking believed or not. It's not the "consequence" of anything, theres no "explanation" for this, it's not the "result" of anything, NOTHING has "brought"/has "made" 'me' "'sAy' ThIs"/to "tHiS pOiNt"/to "tHiS cOnClUsIoN"/to "mAkE tHiS dEcIsIoN" nor any other crap like that, and 'lastly', it's NOT because of literally ANY damn 'reason'/'reasons' in general AT ALL) has to be an obligation and i can't simply just NOT want it/anything in general at all (nor absolutely anything else in general AT ALL of any 'type'/'way'/'form'/'dimension'/'plane' etc at all, whatever/however it is etc at all) however tf it is, no 'matter' what 'things' etc and or whatever tf in general 'there is'/'there are'/'there can be' neither 'how'/what 'way'/what 'type' of 'things' 'they' were/are/aren't/can be/could've been/will be, no 'matter' what not only 'life' but anything/everything in general 'is' 'about', no 'matter' 'how' not only a 'thing' called 'life' but anything/everything in general 'works', no 'matter' 'what' 'happens' neither 'how' what happens is/happens, no matter what 'species' there 'exist'/'there are'/there can be neither 'how' 'those' 'species' and or whatever tf in general are/aren't/can be/will be, neither 'what'/'how'/what 'type' of 'things' etc is what 'they' 'do'/'dont do'/'can do, neither if anything/whatever 'thing'|'place' etc and or whatever the f*ck in general is any/whatever """"""positive"""""" or """"""""negative"""""""" 'way'/'adjective'/'thing'/type of 'thing'/'place'/type of 'place'/'activity'/type of 'activity'/'emotion'/'feeling'/type of 'person'/'way' of 'being'/'state' of 'being'/type of 'life'/type of 'world'/type of 'existence'/type of 'planet'/type of 'consciousness'/type of x/type of anything in general|whatever the damn f*ck in general of any type whatever/however tf it is lol, and a 'large'/'infinite' etc and NOT being because of ANY damn f*cking 'reason'/'reasons' in general AT ALL
So, 'answering' to the 'question', I literally just dont give a damn sh*t if i'm """pAtHeTiC""" or not lmao. I dont want to 'be' any """"positive"""" way/adjective/tYpE oF 'pErSoN'/'qUaLiTy'/bullshit nor anything else like that/in general and never at all will. I only/just want (and will always want/want to want) to NOT 'exist' AT ALL/NOT 'be' ANYTHING|ANYONE|ANYWHERE at all/NOT 'participate in'|'experience' LITERALLY/ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING in general at all of absolutely any type/way/'form' etc whatever/however tf it is for fucks sake!!!! I couldnt give any less of a damn f*ck about the rest whatever/however it is lmfao