Discussion Are you leaving a note or not?

[NoChoice]

Why or why not? I am going back on forth because I don't think anything I could ever write would convey what I truly (don't) feel and even begin to explain what I experienced in life that led to this, I cannot understand it fully myself. I'd rather people reach their own conclusions and have to think about it themselves, piecing together the puzzle. Maybe that is somewhat selfish of me but I have many strong opinions on things like the war on drugs, religion and government that I would like for people to think about more. You never know what butterfly effect/chain reaction you could start that could change the world one person and thought at a time... For example, one of my lifelong best friends was depressed and suicidal when I was the opposite, he later told me that if I was not there for him he never would've made it. He has since become the most intellectually capable individual I've ever met in my entire life and I know that he will do great things which gives me some peace knowing I've had a positive effect like this. I digress, what are the pros and cons of leaving a note in your opinion?

 

[wiroho]

I don't, but leaving banking data. I guess that's my note

 

[therhydler]

I feel exactly like you do, that I could never convey my true feelings and explain what has lead me to this in a note. Also to every person I am leaving behind I feel like I would have to explain it a bit differently. So I am leaning towards no note at all.

 

[waived]

I am not going to leave a note for the reasons you stated in the beginning of your post. If someone could suddenly understand and feel another person's life like that they would instantly go insane. There's also nothing particularly special or right about your life or your thoughts and experiences. Other people have similar things in their depths that they'll never be able to express in an exactness, there's also a lot of overlap in experiences. The topics you brought up being passionate about don't have a right or wrong, it's contended space, there are sides to it, personal interests, and people to stand next to, for however long.

 

[lady_godiva]

I'll leave instructions for what to do with my body and belongings but that's about it. Nobody is going to be surprised, so there's no need to explain myself. Also, I have a lot of pent up anger that might find its way into the letter and that would just be adding insult to injury. Much as I resent my family sometimes, I really don't want to hurt them.

 

[Memento Mori]

I think so.
What I'm writing depends on if I want to be found or be eaten by some boars, I'd prefer being food for some animal, circle of life 'n' stuff ^^

Expressing your feelings in a note could also be wrong since it's too complicated to express them right, and the people you leave behind have veeeery much time to read it over and over again and to interpret it, if I'm going to write a death note then it'll be very short and simple, only the most important stuff.

 

[21Neberg]

I can't bring myself to write one. It makes me feel so guilty towards my parents, so I haven't written one.

 

[Circles]

I think it depends especially if you are living with others and how close you are to them. On one hand you're giving them some vague idea on what was wrong and some closure but on the other end that won't take away the grief and the lack of understanding someone else's decision to end it. You have to think, one's decision like this was developed over a lifetime of abuse and blind misfortune to even nurture the will to give into those thoughts. What I'm trying to convey here is that whatever you may write in those letters may do nothing at all to help or may even backfire and lead you're loved ones into trying to feel what you felt. And sometimes they just will never understand. That's why for me I'm just going to summarize that I'm simply tired of living, the I love you's, personal info and will, thanks and bye. Anything more like untold emotional trauma pouring out will only add more unneeded pain to an already overwhelming experience. The only person that would care about me is my mother so I want to try my best to lessen the burden I'm about to put on her.

 

[Othermind]

For what it's worth, I'm gonna leave the usual "It's not your fault"s. I know they're probably going to do it anyway, but I can't stand the idea of my loved ones blaming themselves for something that I brought on myself 100%.
I'm also going to leave a more detailed one for my family explaining why I did it. I mean, not that they couldn't easily find out if they did some digging, but I think it wouldn't leave room for doubt if they got it straight from me.

 

[VoloFataliDoce]

I'm not writing a note. I've written a list of things for the survivors to do, bank account info, etc., but a suicide note isn't in my plans. No amount of explaining my actions will fix their pain, no logical arguments or heartfelt pleas not to blame themselves will actually do any good in reality. Maybe that's selfish, but it's my decision to make.

 

[stellabelle]

"Funny when you're dead how people start listening..."

Personally I will not leave a note. It's self explanatory. I don't have anything to say.

 

[aneurysm]

I am not leaving a note because the reason I want to die in the first place is because I feel a sense of disconnection/alienation to others humans being. I just act loving with everyone and they act loving with me but deep down, something is not quite right. I don't feel sorry for them and if I actually loved them, I wouldn't want to kill myself. If they actually loved me, I wouldn't want to kill myself either.
All we do is going through life wearing masks. When my mom says "I love you" at the end of her texts, I cringe. You gave birth to me but you can't even tell I am fake with you 99% of the time. And I know you hate the real me because every times I leak parts of my true self, disgust is all I can read on your face.

So no I wouldn't leave a note to anyone. I have nothing more to say to these fuckers.

 

[Lil_Intro_Vert]

i have one written cause i hope to ease the pain of my friends and family when i'm gone
hopefully if i can explain why i ctb their guilt will be lessened, even if it's just a little bit

 

[NoChoice]

I've decided to write one and do the best I can to explain this completely bullshit freak accident that led me to this, while also stating this doesn't even begin to truly describe it. Also, I read that if one declares they would like to die a natural death in the rare event of paralysis, comatose or persistent vegetative state, then your family can legally take you off life support, but only if it's written in your will. I think this is a big deal and reason to write a will, although this is not certain and like all other laws will be different in every area and scenario, it is good enough for me and I have made it very clear I want to die and am very opposed to life support if it somehow came to that. For me, this relieves some of the anxiety of a failed partial.

 

[Lil_Intro_Vert]

I've decided to write one and do the best I can to explain this completely bullshit freak accident that led me to this, while also stating this doesn't even begin to truly describe it. Also, I read that if one declares they would like to die a natural death in the rare event of paralysis, comatose or persistent vegetative state, then your family can legally take you off life support, but only if it's written in your will. I think this is a big deal and reason to write a will, although this is not certain and like all other laws will be different in every area and scenario, it is good enough for me and I have made it very clear I want to die and am very opposed to life support if it somehow came to that. For me, this relieves some of the anxiety of a failed partial.

i had never heard of being able to ask to be taken off life support in the event of paralysis and stuff, i wonder if i can ask for that as a minor? and does it have to be a legitamate will or if i leave it in my suicide note will it be honored? thanks for the info

 

[NoChoice]

i had never heard of being able to ask to be taken off life support in the event of paralysis and stuff, i wonder if i can ask for that as a minor? and does it have to be a legitamate will or if i leave it in my suicide note will it be honored? thanks for the info

I just read it on a few different links, but it's enough for me to include it in mine. Damn that's a good question though, I've typed mine out and can't even sign it and I don't need a will for anything else. Hoping it will be valid but who knows, hopefully it never comes to that obviously but perhaps it could be honored in a verified note? Not sure.

 

[NoChoice]

I feel like this could be a separate thread, this seems like something a lot of people are worried about and I'm sure the information is out there, I'm just lazy and dumb nowadays. Basically it would be, can a will save you from vegetative states and if so how can you write a valid one? Hoping an angel makes this but maybe I will at least start it if I have some time, I think that could alleviate a lot of anxiety for people.

 

[OkTotti]

This is an amazing suicide note that a person who recently CTB'ed on her personal blog: https://www.taracondell.com/

she hung herself earlier this week: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...-takes-life-posting-suicide-note-website.html

 

[Jupiter]

This is an amazing suicide note that a person who recently CTB'ed on her personal blog: https://www.taracondell.com/

she hung herself earlier this week: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...-takes-life-posting-suicide-note-website.html

"I have accepted hope is nothing more than delayed disappointment, and I am just plain old-fashioned tired of feeling tired."

I know so well how she felt.

 

[Eren]

I've thought about it some time, and I do not think it's sad to leave this world without "saying goodbye" with a suicide note, but it's also sad to leave a couple of sentences in a note.

I think if I left a note explaining why I left they would not understand it either.

 

[15dec]

I'd originally written a long one explaining why I did it and trying to answer any questions my family and friends might have had, but I'm gonna get rid of it. In my opinion people will just overanalyse it or completely disregard it and come up with their own conclusions about why I ctb anyway, so there's no point in writing anything. I'm not sure if I'll write anything about what I want happening to my body and possessions either, for the same reasons. No point in wasting my time and energy writing notes that people won't acknowledge.

 

[cherub]

I'm leaving a goodbye note for my younger sister. I'm certain about that.

 

[lost_soul83]

I'll leave instructions for what to do with my body and belongings but that's about it. Nobody is going to be surprised, so there's no need to explain myself. Also, I have a lot of pent up anger that might find its way into the letter and that would just be adding insult to injury. Much as I resent my family sometimes, I really don't want to hurt them.

You're lucky, when I ctb it's gonna shock the hell outta people. I kinda wish they'd see it coming, but if they did, they'd try and stop me so I can't let on what my plans are. As for leaving a note, I too am struggling with it. I go back and forth....but if I did I think I'd have to leave a few different ones for the most important people in my life, I'd have to explain it to each of them differently. I'll probably just leave a note that says I'm sorry. That pretty much sums it up.

 

[goxua]

Nope. I kept diaries (sporadically) from age 11. Everything's in there. The themes are constant but it becomes more horrifying, the braver I get over the years, of course. I guess only my kids will bother reading through my messy handwriting.

I also ran a blog for around eight years. An anonymous one which allowed me to be completely transparent. A lot of questioning, philosophy, physics, psychedelics, art, psychology......and rawness. (Didn't have a huge audience but the 1000 or so followers I had consistently engaged with me and were an intelligent and interesting bunch. Even had requests for interviews and artists sending me artworks in the mail.) So there's that too. Even though I don't keep it up now, it will be easy enough to find on my computer and phone if nosy parkers go a snoopin'.

 

[JustAboutDone]

I keep reading over the note Mexican Travels put up on the forum that he was planning on leaving for his sister. It has added poignancy now.

It was sensible, practical - dealing with financial and work aspects and explained everything clearly without anger or malice.

It shows him as a fine young man who knew what he was doing, with clear thought.

So maybe leave a note for someone who matters and not bother with the rest.

 

[NoChoice]

Nope. I kept diaries (sporadically) from age 11. Everything's in there. The themes are constant but it becomes more horrifying, the braver I get over the years, of course. I guess only my kids will bother reading through my messy handwriting.

I also ran a blog for around eight years. An anonymous one which allowed me to be completely transparent. A lot of questioning, philosophy, physics, psychedelics, art, psychology......and rawness. (Didn't have a huge audience but the 1000 or so followers I had consistently engaged with me and were an intelligent and interesting bunch. Even had requests for interviews and artists sending me artworks in the mail.) So there's that too. Even though I don't keep it up now, it will be easy enough to find on my computer and phone if nosy parkers go a snoopin'.

Sometimes I wish I did that, closest thing is probably my twitter feed which mainly consists of end the war on drugs articles and medical psychedelic studies lol. That sounds like exactly the topics I'm interested in, amazingly. Where can I find this?

 

[goxua]

Sometimes I wish I did that, closest thing is probably my twitter feed which mainly consists of end the war on drugs articles and medical psychedelic studies lol. That sounds like exactly the topics I'm interested in, amazingly. Where can I find this?

You'll read of my cold scoring H on a second date lol....and read too much an engineering and epigenetics. And my experiences with iboga and 30 day water fasting for altered states of consciousness and autophagy.

Lemme see how I feel about sharing it, as I do a quick scan and see how it holds up lol....

 

[NoChoice]

You'll read of my cold scoring H on a second date lol....and read too much an engineering and epigenetics. And my experiences with iboga and 30 day water fasting for altered states of consciousness and autophagy.

Lemme see how I feel about sharing it, as I do a quick scan and see how it holds up lol....

No worries at all, it's just that "A lot of questioning, philosophy, physics, psychedelics, art, psychology......and rawness" really describes most of what I love to think about haha, probably would have to add sex in there too but maybe that would be under rawness lolol.

 

[goxua]

No worries at all, it's just that "A lot of questioning, philosophy, physics, psychedelics, art, psychology......and rawness" really describes most of what I love to think about haha, probably would have to add sex in there too but maybe that would be under rawness lolol.

Yep, sex is in there too. Probably, too much.

 

[NoChoice]

Yep, sex is in there too. Probably, too much.

Seems in accordance to the rest of my life to meet someone with exactly similar interests on a forum about to ctb, also being on the opposite side of the planet as them hahaha.