Discussion Are you honest with your therapist?

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I quit going to therapy as it was making me more suicidal and several of them said they could not help me and that my ptsd was the worst they'd ever encountered. Being honest gets you locked up like a prisoner and completely destroys the expectation of trust and transparency.

I'd describe the relationship between most therapists and their clients akin to that of a Nazi and a Jew.

The Nazi prods, questions, and interrogates the Jew trying to get them to slip up by instilling fear into them while the Jew continues to deny that they are Jewish(suicidal) at all costs. If caught in their lies they're sent to a concentration camp where they're subjected to experiments, torture, and cruelty all while the Nazi(therapist) has convinced himself that they're doing this for the future of the Aryan race.

Therapy made me more suicidal as well and essentially forced me to lie. I'm not going to have anything more than superficial trust with someone that threatens me and has deluded themselves into believing that they're helping me by using force to "prevent" suicide.

 

[Rosiel]

It really depends on the therapist. I wouldn't be as open about my CTB thoughts as I am on here in general, but I make sure to let them know enough for them to be able to help me. I had a session today and they acknowledged the fact that CTB as a thought or plan is simply a tool that helps people deal with any kind of mental/emotional pain and difficulties and that the hope is that therapy can give me other tools to cope and feel less pain. You'd be surprised at how non-judgmental and understanding they could be.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Sorry but what's the point of therapy if you have to lie

Therapy just seems like a last resort that people ask you to get when they're tired of hearing about your problems even when you didn't mean to tell anything to them.

 

[followingfate]

I didn't at first, but then I started to get better for a little while. when I started self harming again, I was too ashamed to tell my therapist. which then led to me not being able to express my suicidal thoughts either. now it's been months and I'm just too ashamed to admit any of it haha,,,

 

[_Kaira_]

I'm relatively open and honest about things with my current therapist. If I talk about my suicidal feelings though, I do have to express that I am not a danger to myself and that I have no current plans. However, I have to be constantly showing improvement, otherwise I will be 'reassigned' to a new therapist or removed from that clinic's program altogether... so I do still feel a suffocating pressure to make them satisfied with my 'progress'.

Therapy just seems like a last resort that people ask you to get when they're tired of hearing about your problems even when you didn't mean to tell anything to them.

It's definitely this.
They never word it that way exactly, but they do let you know they are tired of hearing your sh*t, so they think people trained to deal with it handle your problems better. I guess to an extent that's true...not usually the most helpful for those suffering, however.

 

[FatalSystemError591]

She knows I have SI, that I have attempted in the past, have been detained for it, and that the reason why I haven't is because I want a death without pain... I have a plan that I wish to carry out but that's the only thing I don't let her know. All she knows is past me who knew methods but was too chickenshit to follow through

 

[yellowpig]

It took a long time, but I am. It's been so much more helpful being completely open. It's difficult when I want to attempt because I've told her multiple times about plans, and I was assessed and hospitalized twice. She never makes it feel like she's forcing me though—we both know what the next steps are, but she still asks "so what do you think we should do?" It's also allowed her to trust me more. I talked to her on Friday and she told me she was really concerned as I'd told her about finding SN as a method and how it's basically everything I've wanted in a method. Rather than asking "are you planning to kill yourself," she instead asked if I had plans to order it online over the weekend, and if I did then I needed to reach out (to a friend, anonymous text line, whatever). Then if it wasn't the weekend I could reach out to her.

I've wanted to ctb since I was 12, and having her for the past 5 years has saved my life without question. I understand not everyone finds a good therapist that is willing to work with you and would prefer to avoid sectioning you, but they're out there.

 

[hopeisgone]

I have been pretty honest with mine. I don't go into details about the method but I have told her I am no longer interested in trying to get better and I want to go in the opposite direction and reach the point where I can actually execute my plan. She knows I am not quite there yet but that I am serious about it, and I can tell she is worried about me, but I don't think she would ever actually forcibly do anything unless I told her I was actually going to do it in the near future. It's a weird situation though, she was my psychologist for 5 years and then we became friends... I no longer pay her and we kind of just hang out, but there is also some therapy in there so it's weird lol.

 

[nurplexkid]

I've been honest in the past and it's completely pointless.