Are you ever not suicidal?

[dietsodamnsad]

We for sure care about your life story so no need to apologize. I really appreciate you sharing that cause I feel similar with what you've felt and how youre still feeling if that makes sense. Thank you

Thank you for your kindness, I'm sorry you're feeling this way too. Its awful.

 

[nonamegirl]

Very very rare that I am not at all. Some days (my "good" days) it is not at the forefront of my mind, but residing in the back. Most days it is forefront though.

 

[Puppy]

Thank you for your kindness, I'm sorry you're feeling this way too. Its awful.

Yeah it truly is awful. I wish I could take your pain away. Sorry if that's corny to say lol but I do mean it!

 

[Squiddy]

Certain periods of time, I end up not being suicidal and actually hopeful, but that's when I'm manic (which doesn't happen often enough :( )

 

[Mooshi]

Nope, I think about ctb every hour of everyday. Even when I'm "happy" I think about it.

 

[willitpass]

sometimes i don't feel depressed, but no matter how good i'm feeling i know it will be what gets me someday. even if i don't want to die right in that moment i know the feeling will come back and eventually it will get me. i never fear death though, and i never have a fear of some accident happening that kills me

 

[muffin222]

Not really. It's always lurking in the background

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

The only time when I don't feel suicidal is when I'm playing music. Being focused, paying lot of attention to every noe distracts me from those thoughts but most part of the day I am suicidal.

 

[morningdew]

I can find distractions but almost always the same conclusion.

 

[Rockman]

Early childhood.

 

[Vault of Memories]

I had a happy early childhood that I very much enjoyed. Nowadays I have to be high or drunk to not feel suicidal.

 

[oneofthoseyoudontwan]

Maybe i distract from the ideas but it's always there at the end.

 

[Blue Starz]

i'm rarely wanting to ctb anymore when i'm in the safety of my home & know i have enough money for next month's rent... although God keeps making miracles or there sure have been a whole lot of coincidences!

Unless I experience major encounters with very evil or cruel people... or not having rent is when i am overwhelmed & then i consider CTB,
at least I was until about mid February ish, after attending church mass & my first confession in 3 years... & especially after I started praying from this website created by exorcists... (auxilium christianorum) everything started getting better almost immediately... i'm not joking either...

Maybe i was just a little possessed, LOL now i'm just on here to help others, and also because i like the idea of still being able to ctb possibly again to escape this bizarre planet...








A Parody on the "Exorcist" via Mary Poppins, for entertainment purposes only...





Oh, & i dedicate this song to Satan, because he "don't own me"... Ha ha ha ha LOL






i'm still going to have SN ready if & when i need to CTB...

 

[cattalk610]

I'm always suicidal. and i feel like i've always been. But there are times where i feel way more suicidal. Like i literally want to jump, i'm loosing all fear and i want to plan everything. But, even when times are """good""" and i am distracted, i consider myself still suicidal because i still feel like this is the way i should die. I see myself commiting suicide, it's like it's my destiny. And i don't mean to say it in a poetic way at all!! I just can't see myself dying other than ending it all by myself. I also feel like it's the fairest way.

 

[mesohappy]

Im not suicidal RIGHT NOW,this very instant,otherwise I would and could do it.Splatter my brains and viscera all over this computer monitor.I do think about it alot however.Sometimes more than others.

I just have a hard time finding happiness and contentment.Constantly restless, and as I get older it gets worse..Body pain, as well as mental,which leads to financial.I dont like the world and environment I live in and feel trapped.

But I still have things that I find that I dont want to leave yet....Some so simple.Sometimes I just tough out the hardest moments,and find a brief respite of peace before they start again.

I try to find anything I can..Like a drowning man reaching for land.Sometimes its my own pride and vanity alone.

 

[Lilmeowssi]

It's like always in the back of my mind and when something triggers my suicidal thoughts they become more present and I usually get a panic attack. I used to only have them when I went through one of my depressive episodes.

 

[taylor321]

I recall on and off moments. But even when I'm not suicidal it's something else. Either I'm disappointed in myself or wishing I would have done it sooner. Wishing and hoping things will be better. I wanna hope, but I know deep down inside it would take a miracle to happen for me to not have to end my life myself.

 

[last_tour]

One time I took DXM, and it felt like I was one with the world and everything was the way it should be. I deleted all my suicide related notes and "quit" SS. But it only took a day after it wore off for the depression to set back in and suicidal thoughts to return.