Yeah I am scared to fail because of the available methods, that I have. I also did fail one time with not a real lasting damage ( only a cut on my head, that's slightly visible now). But I am afraid of failure where I a vegetable (damage that affects my life quality, which already sucks or damages that make me disabled/ or half disabled). I don't want to fail and then have to depend on doctors or other people to survive. PLEASE NOOOOOO.
If I am free like other normies, then I would be not afraid. Also society (normies, not you guys) feed into that anxiety. But it will not stop me from trying. If there would be hell, If wish all "pro-lifers" that are denying my wish to die go there. No offence and I am not condoning violence. But you guys are evil though in my eyes.
My method is handgun to the head. I'm scared of what the dying process would be like. I'm definitely scared to fail and be left in a vegetative state for an unknown amount of time. Lastly I'm scared of what awaits me in the afterlife. If there is a place of endless conscious torment, and I go there, that would suck bad.
Shutgun when directed to the brain in the correct way (you can research that) is a 99% successful method. In the US (where guns are mostly legal) the number 1 method for successful suicide are guns. I am though NOT RECOMMENDING this or any method to suicide.