hella.physched
Member
- May 13, 2023
- 36
Are we all fucked from the start?
The first time i ever tried killing myself was when i was 12/13. At that time, i didn't fathom how someone so young can be in so much pain. This isn't invalidating those who develop suicidal tendencies/ depression later in life, but those who had it from the start were robbed of every life experience in someway.
Im 20 now, but i feel like the past 8+ years went by in a haze. Everyday is blurred together. I feel like my childhood was one long survival game.
Every. Single. Painful experience builds up. Its like im carrying the pain of my first break up at 15 along with the pain of my first day at school at 6, along with the people ive lost at 18.
It kinda hurts how older ppl will know im suicidal & tell me that im "still young" that "theres alot for me to look forward to" cause thats what hurts the most. Im still young to feel this much pain. & it's honestly so sad that all im looking forward to is ending this pain.
Its been years, & child me is tired, teenage me is exhausted, & this adult version of me is SO DONE.
The first time i ever tried killing myself was when i was 12/13. At that time, i didn't fathom how someone so young can be in so much pain. This isn't invalidating those who develop suicidal tendencies/ depression later in life, but those who had it from the start were robbed of every life experience in someway.
Im 20 now, but i feel like the past 8+ years went by in a haze. Everyday is blurred together. I feel like my childhood was one long survival game.
Every. Single. Painful experience builds up. Its like im carrying the pain of my first break up at 15 along with the pain of my first day at school at 6, along with the people ive lost at 18.
It kinda hurts how older ppl will know im suicidal & tell me that im "still young" that "theres alot for me to look forward to" cause thats what hurts the most. Im still young to feel this much pain. & it's honestly so sad that all im looking forward to is ending this pain.
Its been years, & child me is tired, teenage me is exhausted, & this adult version of me is SO DONE.
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