Are people sick of you because of your depression/suicidal thoughts?

[Deleted member 18655]

Yes. Every last one of them. Gradually but, within five months since the start of the Pandemic. Some said they got too wrapped up in my depression and didn't have the energy and others just had their own lives and their own families to take care of.

So, I'm getting a cat.

 

[redbutterfly]

I can also relate. At this point im not really talking to anyone anymore because they are tired of my depression

 

[StopPlease]

Yeah I've lost allot of people because of those thoughts and trying to talk about it but they don't understand

 

[Squiddy]

I feel like friends and family are starting to get sick of me as I get in a depressed suicidal mood a lot and end up in the hospital a lot. If they end up abandoning me, I might just be done :(

 

[patheticpartner]

I stopped talking about my suicidal thoughts after high school because of the dilemma you describe, and because of how heartbroken my parents were when they found out. Since then, I salvaged my social life and conscience by turning to my journal and anonymous online forums for expression of negative feelings instead of my friends and family.

 

[loopylou]

Yes! Everybody is fed up with me. The last person I reached out too told me to ' stop sitting around feeling sorry for myself and cheer up, stay positive'

 

[Øystein]

Lol yeah. My partner hates me for it. They don't care, they either make fun of what I say or ignore it completely or make me feel guilty for thinking and feeling the things I think and feel. I'm pretty sure they'd gladly break up with me, but are scared that they will be alone for the rest of their life. It's a pretty painful situation for both of us, but I can't really imagine how it would change. If I don't talk about myself too much it's a pretty happy relationship on the surface I guess, since they're fine with ignoring how I feel. They're a good person though. If I wasn't so devistatingly depressed, I probably would never see that face of theirs and we would be an angelic couple - they can be very kind, loving, passionate. Just not very...considerate?

I hate this state. I can't have a proper relationship (not just romantic, any relationship at all) because my crisis-packed psyche is constantly buttraping me. I'm sure my own mental state is also making things worse for my partner. I don't think I'm abusive, but you can't know someone this depressive for so long without it affecting you to some degree too. I regret getting to know them. It would be better for both of us if none of this ever happened, and now we have to carry on with these smiley paper masks over our faces and continuing this relationship. For what reason I don't know.

Sorry for this post.

 

[WornOutLife]

Not sick, but my dad for example, is very sad. He wishes I could get over this depression but I just can't.
Anyway, I've started to work again and quit alcohol. It's not that much but it's helping me not to turn into a full-time NEET again.

 

[callofthevoid]

I told two people before, my mom and my partner. But I've stopped when they told me how selfish it was to have thoughts like this. Never talked about it to anyone since.

 

[Pookie]

I told two people before, my mom and my partner. But I've stopped when they told me how selfish it was to have thoughts like this. Never talked about it to anyone since.

What an awful thing of them to say. It makes me sad.

 

[callofthevoid]

What an awful thing of them to say. It makes me sad.

It's alright, it's been years since then and I know now how I can deal with them and act as normal as they want me to be.

Lol yeah. My partner hates me for it. They don't care, they either make fun of what I say or ignore it completely or make me feel guilty for thinking and feeling the things I think and feel. I'm pretty sure they'd gladly break up with me, but are scared that they will be alone for the rest of their life. It's a pretty painful situation for both of us, but I can't really imagine how it would change. If I don't talk about myself too much it's a pretty happy relationship on the surface I guess, since they're fine with ignoring how I feel. They're a good person though. If I wasn't so devistatingly depressed, I probably would never see that face of theirs and we would be an angelic couple - they can be very kind, loving, passionate. Just not very...considerate?

I hate this state. I can't have a proper relationship (not just romantic, any relationship at all) because my crisis-packed psyche is constantly buttraping me. I'm sure my own mental state is also making things worse for my partner. I don't think I'm abusive, but you can't know someone this depressive for so long without it affecting you to some degree too. I regret getting to know them. It would be better for both of us if none of this ever happened, and now we have to carry on with these smiley paper masks over our faces and continuing this relationship. For what reason I don't know.

Sorry for this post.

I understand your position perfectly. I guess it's just really more of they might never fully understand how we may feel in the end.
There's been so many instances where my partner tells me to just stop mentioning when I get suicidal thoughts. Now though, that I have fully accepted to doing CTB in the near future I'm thinking about ending things with them at least. To spare them the aftermath when I do end my life.

 

[Bigpink]

I wouldn't tell any of the very few people I know that I want to CTB. There's nothing to be gained from it, it's my own journey I have to undertake myself.

I don't need or want help, I'm totally rational and have got to a point where there is no further living to be done, I've done everything I was ever going to.

 

[loopylou]

I don't mind being called selfish. Because I want to die for my own needs and everyone else's comes after that

 

[woknows]

I am not sure how one person does not run away. I deserve it. I am terrible. I should be glad she puts up with my outbursts.

 

[Lmd]

Some of them avoid me but there's a lot of people supporting me and listening when I need. I'm trying to deal with it the most "healthy" way I can so they don't feel tired too.

 

[WornOutLife]

I think people are sick of me because I've decided to become a NEET/shut-in who barely answers any text messages or calls.

 

[Wrennie]

They find me exasperating. I don't make any effort to hide it because the goal is for my friends to realize I'm a lost cause. If I'm dead I won't have any need for companionship, so what point is there in expending unnecessary effort to maintain my relationships?

 

[Deleted member 25349]

They are sooo tired they or hearing about my physical pain qnd thoughts they avoid me.

 

[lost.ghost]

people say they're not, but i genuinely believe they've been sick of my depression. i stopped talking about it a while ago because of fear i was annoying everyone

 

[makingsure4]

I put on my ole licensed massage therapist face, thinking about what they need. Making it about them. Smiling. So they don't really notice then I just blow out a breath of relief they didn't, later. Leads to loneliness.

 

[idontwanttobeme]

they say they're not but i'm so sure everyone around me including my therapists are so sick and tired of me and everything about me. it'll be a (huge!) relief to everyone, including myself hopefully, when i'm dead

 

[watchingthewheels]

When I found out the truth about my father's suicide and my mother's involvement/lies about it a few years ago, while dealing with caring for her in the hospital at the same time (and while she was playing me, at the same time), I was highly unstable, and was unloading the details on a few people. No one ever said so to me outright about it, but I picked up on the signals early enough. I can be a bit "aspie" about such things, and learned about "blarping", so I learned to pull back and not say too much. (But when I keep to myself, I'm called anti-social and told I need to open up more. Catch-22...) But the damage was done, anyway, I know I wound up pushing away a few people, including my best friend. So now, I've gone back to bottling it all up and keeping my problems to myself. Which is probably for the best, as I don't want anyone to stop me when the time comes. Ironically, I don't want anyone stopping be in part BECAUSE certain people pulled me away and left me to deal with this alone. Their pulling away only contributed to my choice, since I see I'm always going to be alone, anyway.

 

[brokenwaves]

when i ended up in hospital, family kept saying i need to open up & be honest. but whenever they ask how i am, the second i say anything other than fine - they're annoyed. they just can't understand how after all these years i'm still mentally ill. why am i depressed why do i want to die, they just don't get it & it annoys them when i even mention it. not to mention the friends i've lost because i've opened up too much and become a burden to them

 

[HopelessCookie]

I have one person in my life who has told me, she wants me to talk to her about my depression etc as it's not good for me to keep it to myself... Yet then tells me I give her anxiety when I talk to her about it. Then I have my dad who told me if he can't deal with my issues he will and I quote "ignore me" (which is fair enough but don't tell me that) and then proceeds to use me to dump all of his issues onto . So now I breakdown in my own time and act like everything outside is ok to keep other people happy.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

No one to my knowledge knows about my suicidal thoughts besides one person, so no. They are not sick of me for being suicidal - they are just sick of me as a person, or at least it has always felt that way.

 

[Marchioness]

I can relate. I don't usually tell people I'm depressed outright, they are just sick of me disappearing and isolating.

 

[Natty]

I've only told my wife but she is definitely sick of me.

A year and a half ago I got so down and worn out from trying on my own that I finally had to just break down and ask her to please just acknowledge on occasion that I am unwell and need help.

She has refused continues to push me towards ending my life. She pretends to want me to be okay, but she only does things that further push me down the dark path. She's 100% doing it on purpose, but I think she might not even completely realize it because she's so tired of me.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

While I don't really consider myself depressed, I have opened up many times to people about my wish to die and how my life isn't worth living.

No one really understands except you all and a couple others online. It's as if my predicament doesn't fully compute in their heads. Others truly cannot grasp the concept of an illness being chronic. I will be in physical anguish the rest of my life, and they refuse to acknowledge it.

I don't really have any family, so I rely on my boyfriend. Like many of the rest of you mentioned, there is a tendency for people to want to try and 'fix' us. When things don't go according to their plan, they expect us to play pretend forever to shield themselves from negativity.

I suck at pretending to be happy. I have autism for God's sake, so hiding emotions has never been my penchant. Having to consistently bottle up how godawful I feel, besides the occasional, "Hey, I'm in a lot of pain today" is some of the worst emotional torment imaginable.

Because I physically don't have the energy to mask how sick I am, no one wants to be around me. Having several chronic illnesses is the nail in my coffin, because absolutely no one understands what that entails. I've witnessed the ways in which other people talk about me, and it breaks my heart.

I know my bf only stays with me cause he feels like he can't get anything better. I've seen my bf talk about me online to one of his friends, and so many of these damn normies say he should break up with me because my physical health and ptsd don't improve.

In this sort of state, I have to rely on others. When you can't be a positivity oozing fun Ray of sunshine no one wants to be around you! No one wants to believe this could happen to them in the blink of an eye. That they could become sick like me.

So yeah, people treat me like shit for expressing pain.

 

[Sensei]

I keep my depression and suicidality secret as well as I can. I seldom talk about it with those who know. I only really talk about it with people here. Works for me.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I wish my parents would turn psychopath narc mode and kick me out so I would have no choice but to hug that rope, but it doesn't look like a possibility :(