Are people serious on here or wasting their time?

[yellothere]

You're wrong about that... The fact that members are polite/friendly when they interact doesn't mean that they've known each other for ages...

Hm. It seems people had pas interactions when someone I ones got banned. I want sure if he was to be trusted or not. No one would tell me anything....

i am nice. I just don't want to be ripped off. I just am in a hurry and getting anxious. I only have so much money and
Time before I have to live somewhere else. I can't fuck yo buying the PPH membership or anything else .

it seemed everyone in the thread knew each other...

 

[newave3]

I guess I better jump off the roof of my building this week. Don't want anyone to get the notion I'm not serious about killing myself.

Haven't seen you repeatedly post about buying or obtaining ctb drugs.

Sodium Nitrite does not to be all that peaceful. Just like about everyone else, I would love to have nice bottle of Nembutal at my disposal but it's expensive and difficult to obtain. I don't have any fentanyl or heroin sources.
My method is CO poisoning. I'm just waiting for a good CO meter because I want to make sure the CO levels are high enough.
Your post drew a fair amount of criticism but that's fine. It's not a popularity contest. You are obviously suffering like the rest of us.

 

[yellothere]

If you don't want to participate in discussions, you can browse the thread without making an account. There are also websites that teach how to ctb without a forum at all. Participation is not required…nor is bashing how people spend their time appropriate.

Not bashing. Just surprised that some people are stressing over buying N or SN or how to do it if they aren't 100% ready. Worst thing was googling it and thinking about it when I was in a self harm mode but not 100%. I have OCD and push myself towards things. Worst thing I did was look it up.....

 

[odradek]

It's not a goal. I am sorry. I enjoyed the friend I had in RL that I lost. I can't fix my mistakes. I only have regret.

I hope those that aren't planning to execute it right away don't think too much of how to do it. It made me shake with tremors the other day so bad and turn cold. I wouldn't consider methods and make myself sick if I wasn't very serious. Suicide letters have been written for a long time. Gave it a chance and it didn't work out.

Your experiences and how you personally react to them is not universal. Everyone is different, as the old saying goes. You seems to be in a bad place and I am genuinely sorry for that. I would recommend you not lash out with judgements of others, it will do you no favours no matter what you intend to do while on here.

 

[yellothere]

Sodium Nitrite does not to be all that peaceful. Just like about everyone else, I would love to have nice bottle of Nembutal at my disposal but it's expensive and difficult to obtain. I don't have any fentanyl or heroin sources.
My method is CO poisoning. I'm just waiting for a good CO meter because I want to make sure the CO levels are high enough.
Your post drew a fair amount of criticism but that's fine. It's not a popularity contest. You are obviously suffering like the rest of us.

Thanks. I just wish I hadn't looked it up. It gives me nightmares, makes me
Throw up and adds stress.
I'm sure the recovery forums are nice. As is the chat section I checked out.
Just not the methods part. Doesn't seem like something I would want to discuss with friends . Bad feelings yea. But not my death.

Your experiences and how you personally react to them is not universal. Everyone is different, as the old saying goes. You seems to be in a bad place and I am genuinely sorry for that. I would recommend you not lash out with judgements of others, it will do you no favours no matter what you intend to do while on here.

Have no intention of causing pain. I am surprised the people you with the idea so closely if not 100% sure.
Maybe not everyone is given anxiety by it. I do hope that others (from my dislike of human suffering) find time to talk about positive things more.

I dislike seeing others suffer. It is also frustrating trying to get info knowing I don't intend to stick around.
It's from a place of both interiors.

 

[Sans]

I'd love nothing more than to be erased from this world right now, along with any traces of my existence. Unfortunately, that's not possible, and no good CTB methods are at my disposal. I will get myself some SN when I can get it risk free or tie a noose if I can ever learn how to do it properly, but for now, I'm stuck in this limbo that is life on Earth.

 

[odradek]

Thanks. I just wish I hadn't looked it up. It gives me nightmares, makes me
Throw up and adds stress.
I'm sure the recovery forums are nice. As is the chat section I checked out.
Just not the methods part. Doesn't seem like something I would want to discuss with friends . Bad feelings yea. But not my death.

Have no intention of causing pain. I am surprised the people you with the idea so closely if not 100% sure.
Maybe not everyone is given anxiety by it. I do hope that others (from my dislike of human suffering) find time to talk about positive things more.

I dislike seeing others suffer. It is also frustrating trying to get info knowing I don't intend to stick around.
It's from a place of both interiors.

I dislike seeing others pain as well. Implying people are wasting their time and questioning their seriousness based on your own arbitrary criteria does cause pain though. It triggered a bit of "wtf" am I doing in myself when I first read your post. Your intentions seem to be coming from a good place, I would just advise maybe thinking through how your words will be received by others. We are all in some form of anguish on here, be it physical, mental or both. Just try to remember that.

 

[yellothere]

I dislike seeing others pain as well. Implying people are wasting their time and questioning their seriousness based on your own arbitrary criteria does cause pain though. It triggered a bit of "wtf" am I doing in myself when I first read your post. Your intentions seem to be coming from a good place, I would just advise maybe thinking through how your words will be received by others. We are all in some form of anguish on here, be it physical, mental or both. Just try to remember that.

I think I enjoy the shock value to se if people comment

I said the same one with "I shouldn't have to kill people...... to have access to being euthanized"

it seems people don't respond when I post questions. I was afraid of getting ripped off and saw a thread banning someone I was communicating with over past stuff and no one would tell anything...

it seems shock value gets people to respond and not ignore you. It's why people act as kids.

 

[odradek]

I think I enjoy the shock value to se if people comment

I said the same one with "I shouldn't have to kill people...... to have access to being euthanized"

it seems people don't respond when I post questions. I was afraid of getting ripped off and saw a thread banning someone I was communicating with over past stuff and no one would tell anything...

it seems shock value gets people to respond and not ignore you. It's why people act as kids.

Well this seems to contradict your previous statement of disliking seeing others in pain. Causing others pain to get a reaction is not really productive. Yeah you'll get responses, look at this thread, but most of them will just be antagonistic or worse. Trolling on a suicide forum, no matter your reasoning or intentions, is not a good look my dude.

 

[Bone]

how to do it if they aren't 100% ready

this is just not how suicidality works. it ebbs and flows and its totally unique for every individual, up to and even in the moment. at least for me, i don't expect to even be 100% in those final moments-but yep i'm as serious as i can possibly be. when i stopped having these thoughts and had a serious chance of recovery, i stopped using the forum. and i think most other users are the same. there are wayyyyy too many other things to do in this world than waste time if someone doesn't really wanna be here. lots of people have some really serious shit to process and this site helps a lot with that.

OP you kinda started this thread off in a "why aren't more people dying" kinda way, but have gone on to explore other thoughts-most of which are shared by a lot of ppl here. this community, just like suicidal ideation itself, is extremely complex and intricate, and sometimes just experiencing and observing helps to understand more than leaning so heavily on logic and forcing things to make sense. you just can't shove stuff about this topic into a box-there aren't a ton of "rules" for how to talk about this shit.

basically, this is a place for people in some of the darkest places of their lives to have some sort of common ground, a non-judgemental meeting place. i've seen people be extremely supportive towards each other here. i *DID NOT* expect to see so many people here be so sincere and caring. try to give a little bit and you'll also get some back, i'm sure of it.

also, just a suggestion-try not to have any expectations about what this forum "should be" and just take it for what it is. it's helped me and a lot of others indescribably in ways our closest friends or family cannot, nor anywhere else on the internet.

it seems shock value gets people to respond and not ignore you.

dude, no. i've been off and on this forum for 2+ years, and recently becoming more active, i definitely feel if people have something at all to say, any way to respond, they typically will. it doesn't really seem like people get banned easily, only as a last resort.

i feel for you-i am sorry you are suffering. believe me, i am too, GREATLY, and we all are, obviously. because of that, i would recommend resetting your exceptions of anyone on this forum to zero. it's hard to expect anyone else to do things for you, period-much less when we know they are in really dark places like ourselves.

One final thing-at the risk of sounding like a dick-your phrasing/grammar is hard to understand somewhat and might be part of the reason you don't get as many responses as you would like. Just a thought. I hope for the best for you, your experience here, and for your life/future.

 

[motel rooms]

I think I enjoy the shock value to se if people comment

I said the same one with "I shouldn't have to kill people...... to have access to being euthanized"

it seems people don't respond when I post questions. I was afraid of getting ripped off and saw a thread banning someone I was communicating with over past stuff and no one would tell anything...

it seems shock value gets people to respond and not ignore you. It's why people act as kids.

@yellothere, you're clearly in a really bad place, so your posts are all over the place. You have to try & calm down & be persistent. If you want to "attract attention" & gain people's trust, do it by making compassionate comments, not by attempting to shock us

 

[Bone]

by making compassionate comments, not by attempting to shock us

this is a big part of what i was getting at-if you want people to engage with you you kinda gotta be willing to give some yourself. i feel like i know the above poster well, even though we've never spoken just because of his many posts on this forum, for example. he doesn't have to take the time to respond and dialogue with people, but he does. it helps him and others at the same time-and that's why it's good for this community to be here.

**edited to say I would *think* it helps him-wouldn't want to speak for him <3

 

[AwaySeaweed]

I just need a way out. I need something ASAP for a peaceful death... SN may not be peaceful enough. I would prefer N or F?
I really just want help before I forget.
But it seems many people discussing obtaining things for a peaceful suicide aren't actually seriously trying to die.
Do people just want to make friends? Because this isn't a good place. I don't think making friends with people actively trying to commit s*ui*c*e is actually helpful for making friends l, nor is it good for your well-being to know people or aid people in trying to say goodbye.

I almost feel that people are much more likely to help you obtain what you need or give info on finding things if you are their friends? Am I wrong? I am a friendly person, but not looking for friends here. I just want support in my choice.

If I had more money and a long term place (couch surfing at the moment) I would have orders and tested SN, but I can't risk ordering some thing where I have to test it and compromise it or have to get it shipped in a month.

I sometimes get the feeling that people aren't serious about it. If so why be on here so long ? Could be wrong?

Aren't you literrally in the same group as the people you are trying to call out? Why haven't you done it, oh you have an excuse with coach crashing or money. Maybe others have similar hangups? Think man think

 

[yellothere]

@yellothere, you're clearly in a really bad place, so your posts are all over the place. You have to try & calm down & be persistent. If you want to "attract attention" & gain people's trust, do it by making compassionate comments, not by attempting to shock us

I think I was stressed because with tried to get a copy of the PPH. I am running low on time while I have somewhere to stay. I talked to someone about buying an online and turned out another thread they were possibly scamming, but I didn't get an answer why.

and my mind is everywhere. I wish I could freeze time or just wasn't stressed about running out of money. I should have ordered things while I was staying somewhere consistent. If I had more mine and time to order and test stuff I wouldn't be so stressed...

I am not looking to make friends right now. Not enemies. In real life I am
Quite nice to be around just anxious. I lost my friends not from acting badly, but from shame and not reaching out. People moved on and did great things with their lives. Got busy. I am actually a very kind person. Just an anxious one. Who is stressed financially and on time with school deadlines approaching .

 

[Cheza_mus]

As for me...I want to take my life but what is delaying me is that I am still looking for a method that can work for me..if I manage to get that I will sleep forever

 

[yellothere]

Aren't you literrally in the same group as the people you are trying to call out? Why haven't you done it, oh you have an excuse with coach crashing or money. Maybe others have similar hangups? Think man think

Dude. I just joined. It's been like a month. I have something a chance and it didn't work. It's not been a while. I just only really have one chance. I can't really order something and it doesn't work ori use all my money.

I'm in an odd situation. I am anxious, but not a hypocrite. Check my previous posts. I am trying to get info. If I didn't have s deadlines I would be better off...

Well this seems to contradict your previous statement of disliking seeing others in pain. Causing others pain to get a reaction is not really productive. Yeah you'll get responses, look at this thread, but most of them will just be antagonistic or worse. Trolling on a suicide forum, no matter your reasoning or intentions, is not a good look my dude.

Dude not trolling. I mean it. I am mad that I can't have access to a peaceful death yet people who commit murder can. How is that trolling? I am dead fucking serious. I am nice, hardworking, honest, and have done what society tells me. I deserve a choice in my life more than any criminal.

this post isn't trolling? You think I enjoy trying to find out how to die and trying to find out info? This isn't for fun. I don't think asking how looking up and planning in a very detailed way your death is helpful to making friends that understand you and trying to cope. It's my opinion. It's definitely not harmful. No name calling and no judgment of anyone's worth or character. Just looking at the threads to get access to a method. It's stressful. Not fun. I just find it harmful to look without intending 100%. It doesn't seem to be good for the psyche...

 

[WatermelonMel]

You're trying just as hard as us because we're all still here, unsuccessful...

But it seems many people discussing obtaining things for a peaceful suicide aren't actually seriously trying to die.

This is an unfair assumption, how could you know whether or not someone is serious through text?

Do people just want to make friends? Because this isn't a good place. I don't think making friends with people actively trying to commit s*ui*c*e is actually helpful for making friends l, nor is it good for your well-being to know people or aid people in trying to say goodbye.

And who are you to decide whether or not this a good place to have friends? I'd be ok if this is the last place I made a friend at.

 

[yellothere]

You're trying just as hard as us because we're all still here, unsuccessful...


This is an unfair assumption, how could you know whether or not someone is serious through text?


And who are you to decide whether or not this a good place to have friends? I'd be ok if this is the last place I made a friend at.

Maybe not the suicide discussion threads. There are other nice threads I am not talking about.

 

[WatermelonMel]

Maybe not the suicide discussion threads. There are other nice threads I am not talking about.

That doesn't really answer the questions

 

[yellothere]

That doesn't really answer the questions

Not sure the question. There are other threads that seem conducive to making friends and reducing the pain felt.
I was just surprised in a thread about how to buy how many people seemed to have been on a while and all
Knew one another enough to know of past issues with someone possibly trying to rip me off...

 

[odradek]

Dude not trolling. I mean it. I am mad that I can't have access to a peaceful death yet people who commit murder can. How is that trolling? I am dead fucking serious. I am nice, hardworking, honest, and have done what society tells me. I deserve a choice in my life more than any criminal.

this post isn't trolling? You think I enjoy trying to find out how to die and trying to find out info? This isn't for fun. I don't think asking how looking up and planning in a very detailed way your death is helpful to making friends that understand you and trying to cope. It's my opinion. It's definitely not harmful. No name calling and no judgment of anyone's worth or character. Just looking at the threads to get access to a method. It's stressful. Not fun. I just find it harmful to look without intending 100%. It doesn't seem to be good for the psyche...

From Urban Dictionary:

Trolling – (verb), as it relates to internet, is the deliberate act, (by a Troll – noun or adjective), of making random unsolicited and/or controversial comments on various internet forums with the intent to provoke an emotional knee jerk reaction from unsuspecting readers to engage in a fight or argument.

You already admitted yourself you made these comments to elicit shock and a reaction. The "Are people serious on here or wasting their time?", was the troll, not what you mention above. I've really tried to engage you with empathy after my first emotional response. I would implore you to do the same with others. Admit you made a mistake and stop being so defensive. I'm disengaging now because this is frustrating me. I'm sorry for your pain, try not to spread it around won't you?

 

[agate]

I'm new here, or at least on a new account.
But personally, I just want to buy/have my CBT device and keep it (for now) for a safe/happier feeling. Know what I mean?
Just knowing I have something that could kill me , when I'm ready or need it, is enough for now. Then I will feel more at ease.
Just thinking of my young son and elderly mom, who'd be heartbroken.

Maybe more are in the same boat?

 

[yellothere]

From Urban Dictionary:

Trolling – (verb), as it relates to internet, is the deliberate act, (by a Troll – noun or adjective), of making random unsolicited and/or controversial comments on various internet forums with the intent to provoke an emotional knee jerk reaction from unsuspecting readers to engage in a fight or argument.

You already admitted yourself you made these comments to elicit shock and a reaction. The "Are people serious on here or wasting their time?", was the troll, not what you mention above. I've really tried to engage you with empathy after my first emotional response. I would implore you to do the same with others. Admit you made a mistake and stop being so defensive. I'm disengaging now because this is frustrating me. I'm sorry for your pain, try not to spread it around won't you?

I am sorry if I meant to offend. I did not mean to incite argument or fight. I have no intention to upset people.Again, it seems stressful to post about methods of you aren't sure and traumatizing to talk to friends you meet about sui*d* and posibly help them. I am just curious as to how people are able to speak of methods. I am sore to frustrate. I bring up that post because people don't seem to comment on my thread questioning about methods as when I asked on another thread about past drama regarding trusting another banned user, I was not explained.

I don't want to fight. I just want to understand how it works. Getting knowledge on what has been tested or who is trustworthy. It was an attention grabbing headline, but the body text was not meant to offend.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Not everybody on SS want to CTB as soon as possible, in fact many members don't want to die, but to get support; SS offers methods for those who wish to die, and offers support and recovery for those who want to recover or just talk about their problems without the fear of
stigmatization and being forcibly committed into a mental institution

 

[yellothere]

Not everybody on SS want to CTB as soon as possible, in fact many members don't want to die, but to get support; SS offers methods for those who wish to die, and offers support and recovery for those who want to recover or just talk about their problems without the fear of
stigmatization and being forcibly committed into a mental institution

Fuck mental hospitals. The are sick and if you aren't harming others you should have the right to walk out any time.
The often make things worse. Especially if the patient doesn't want to be there. I wasn't suicidal when I was guilted into going a no then i colony leave. Become suicidal after. From PTSD and not being able to sleep without nightmares for a week. Kinda ironic. I told them I didn't want to be there. Same with Prozac. Was happy before people fucked with me.

and as I said. I see the good forums for fun topics. Just reading the effects of death is grizzly

 

[Jumping_realms]

Just wasting time.

All of us.

Why would you even ask that? You sound pretty erratic through this whole thread.

 

[yellothere]

Just wasting time.

All of us.

Why would you even ask that? You sound pretty erratic through this whole thread.

Dude! I am! I am soooo stressed! I just want a peaceful method without loosing my method and I have only so much time at an address and so much money.

And I am so frustrated to not have questions answered... I almost gave money a few days ago to someone who got banned and nobody explained the past stuff!

And I naturally defend my statements. I dislike being misinterpreted, so I explain myself. I do a lot. Overexplain. Sometimes in my head it bothers me that much.
. If I am being a dick I don't mind being called out though. I sincerely in the OP wasn't being sarcastic. I just don't see how discussing the complex ways of obtaining certain things (SN or N m) is helpful to anyone who may want friends or to get support. It's super anxiety inducing.
Again. I am nice just anxious. And avoiding bedtime. Because then I have to wake up.

 

[plough22]

Yes people are serious but equally it's not a competition. Others are at different stages, some may find this site helpful with like minded people. I know I'm not ready but I'm planning, will it happen sometime, YES but I need that final push and to hope that I don't Fail, that's worst then anything for me

 

[Jumping_realms]

Dude! I am! I am soooo stressed! I just want a peaceful method without loosing my method and I have only so much time at an address and so much money.

And I am so frustrated to not have questions answered... I almost gave money a few days ago to someone who got banned and nobody explained the past stuff!

And I naturally defend my statements. I dislike being misinterpreted, so I explain myself. I do a lot. Overexplain. Sometimes in my head it bothers me that much.
. If I am being a dick I don't mind being called out though. I sincerely in the OP wasn't being sarcastic. I just don't see how discussing the complex ways of obtaining certain things (SN or N m) is helpful to anyone who may want friends or to get support. It's super anxiety inducing.
Again. I am nice just anxious. And avoiding bedtime. Because then I have to wake up.

I'm sorry you're stressed. That's still no reason to lash out at people. There have been members who have CTB since your join date a month ago.

If you want just friends or support and don't want to see ways of obtaining SN or N, go to the recovery section.

 

[Chiisai]

I just need a way out. I need something ASAP for a peaceful death... SN may not be peaceful enough. I would prefer N or F?
I really just want help before I forget.
But it seems many people discussing obtaining things for a peaceful suicide aren't actually seriously trying to die.
Do people just want to make friends? Because this isn't a good place. I don't think making friends with people actively trying to commit s*ui*c*e is actually helpful for making friends l, nor is it good for your well-being to know people or aid people in trying to say goodbye.

I almost feel that people are much more likely to help you obtain what you need or give info on finding things if you are their friends? Am I wrong? I am a friendly person, but not looking for friends here. I just want support in my choice.

If I had more money and a long term place (couch surfing at the moment) I would have orders and tested SN, but I can't risk ordering some thing where I have to test it and compromise it or have to get it shipped in a month.

I sometimes get the feeling that people aren't serious about it. If so why be on here so long ? Could be wrong?

I tell you, SN is very potent. As for people not being serious to CTB, it takes a lot of time, courage, and opportunity to overcome the SI. And regardless whether the nature or the urgency of CTB-ing, this forum is a community that enables people who are suffering to let out their grievances and find a community that understands them.