Yes that's sad but also i think we don't know what they were going through at the time and what troubles they faced.
Generally i don't think suicide is selfish.
I agree to an extent, but when someone breeds with a chikd abuser knowingly that makes them very selfish. Please don't ask me how the parent knew there is documented evidence they were aware the other parent was abusive, maybe not aware of how bad but they were aware. I was sexually abused, physically abused, emotionally abused and severely neglected by my other parent just to give you some context.
Do you know why, for certain, your parent killed themselves? Not dismissing your feelings, but just to give your parent the benefit of the doubt, and maybe they don't deserve it, I don't know, but maybe there was no "plan" to abandon you. Maybe they were in a place of despair in their lives, too, even before they thought about having a child. Maybe they thought a child they could care for, and love, and who needed them, that this child would be their salvation and get that despair and hopelessness off of their soul. I don't know all of your circumstances and I don't pretend to. I think people look for all kind of ways to make themselves better. Sometimes it just doesn't work. I feel confident in saying that your parent had "something' going on long before you entered the picture, before you were even thought of. I highly doubt their suicide had anything to do with you. Suicide is about the person who takes their own life.
Yes I know the parent killed themselves, it's on thr death certificate and they were found by a dog walked hanging from a tree in the park. I don't agree with the child thing, because they had eight children before I was born some alot older than me so they knew exactly how they felt and what they were doing. This parent actually never had one picture with me of even holding me or looking at me but had pictures with their other children. If that doesn't make me feel unloved and abandoned I don't know what would. Imagine being singled out in that way. The person shouldn't have had children when they knew they were having them with someone who was abusive towards their other children. Imagine selfishly creating a child with a child abuser, and then cowardly backing out of all of your children's lives and leaving them in the unsafe environment you created them into. The person knew exactly what they were doing. I was sexually abused, physically, emotionally abused a few times a week for almost an entire decade and severely neglected by that other parent. I was left with a monster. I lived in foster care because of the abuse. The rest of my childhood because I was in foster care there wasn't really much any abuse apart from when I'd run to relatives whilst in foster care because I'd trauma bonded to them and had Stockholm syndrome, or when my visits weren't supervised properly and when I was made to live with them. There was some abuse in care but not much, I mainly just moved around alot so suffered extreme emotional abuse in that sense.
they are already selfish for breeding. Suicide just makes them even more selfish and hypocritical.
Or maybe they were just ignorant and didn't realize the suffering they were inflicting on you
I think both. I think they didn't care about their children because they knew the other parent was abusive and rather than protecting their children, they kept breeding and then eventually committed suicide and abandoned us all in an abusive environment.
I feel this is a bit harsh as none of us know what is actually going on within someone else. I think someone who reaches the point of ctb isn't even in a state of mind where they realize that what they are about to do is actually "harming" innocents, as you say. All they're thinking about is not hurting anymore. You can call that selfish if you want. And if it is, and I'm not conceding that it is, but if it is, indeed, selfish, at that point of ctb, I don't believe they're even capable of realizing how selfish it is. They don't have intent to hurt people. They have intent to not hurt. There is a difference. Until you are in someone elses shoes...........................
I have to disagree. When a person breeds with a paedophile, who beats children, emotionally abuses them, and severely neglects them then that person is beyond selfish and deserves to end their life because they are a worthless disgrace. My other parent who ended their life is a worthless disgrace. They didn't just breed me but they literally handed me on a silver platter to a paedophile by breeding me with that paedophile. I accept they might not have known the person was a paedophile but they had suspicions that the person was sexually exploiting one of their special needs children at the time. I mean arranging for relatives to sexually abuse that child and other men and sexually abusing that child themselves. The parent did however know that the person was very physically, emotionally abusive to their children and neglectful. A baby was severely burnt. The list goes on. Although what did the idiot decide to do? Keep breeding and create other innocent victims. I spent almost half of my childhood in care because of the abuse st the hands of my other parent. Imagine knowing that someone bred you into abuse knowingly and then just abandoned you. When you create a child in those circumstances your responsible for things they experience because without you they wouldn't be there. The person was aware about how it would affect their children because it was discussed by professionals with them. The person just didn't care, it was all about them. Like it was when they were only interested in their orgasm knowing it would create more children as a result. The person was beyond selfish and they're better of dead being remembered as a disgrace with their grave being neglected.
My husband's decision to ctb is often called selfish because he has a child, but I don't think it was. I think, when you make that choice, you're taking into consideration more than yourself. I have a child too so when I got to the point that I felt comfortable entertaining the thought it wasn't because I wanted to be selfish, it was because I felt like my child will live a better life without me and I'll be free from the pain as an afterthought.
Suicide isn't any more selfish than selfless. Murder is selfish.
I understand in your situation. Although your not a child abuser I am assuming. Your husband didn't have a child with a paedophile, chikd beater, child neglecter, child emotional abuser or someone who sexually exploited children. My other parent did and they were aware the person was doing three types of abuse and had suspicions they were also doing the fourth type. So in my case it was extremely selfish for the fool to breed because in doing so I was exposed to a childhood with alot of sexual abuse. Imagine knowing you were created by a parent who knew the other was highly abusive to children and having more with that person. Your not a paedophile your parter knew your child would be safe. My parent knew that their children wouldn't be safe. I mean having a baby almost die in someone's care speaks volumes as does the fact that the parents three babies were on foster care at the time whilst all the other children shockingly weren't in care at all. Baby's don't care put into foster care for no reason. The idiot left me with a child abuser I'm glad it's dead. This sicko bred children knowing they would be abused. Three of the ones who were sexually abused including me have disabilities including autism. So the sicko left not only children in a vulnerable and unsafe situation but it left very vulnerable children with special needs in that situation. I'm glad it's dead tbh. I wish it had never existed in the first place because then it wouldn't have bred children with a paedophile and child abuser. There's a difference between breeding children with chikd abusers and children with normal people. Your husband knew your child was safe. My parent knew none of their children would be safe.
