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WinterIsComing

WinterIsComing

Fragile...
May 27, 2019
256
I told my brother and he invita me to a danger and then angrily said I wanted attention... Seriously....what a person can earn with attention???.. Anyways...
I wrote in a facebook women's group if they know about a suicide prevention service and...they gave the " the don't do it,we love you""positivity treatment"...like I appreciate the good intentions but they don't know me and my circumstances and I just asked for a service to try fix it on my own...
I told my bf and he just say silent or make questions.

I told a friend too...but yeah he was positive and life is beautiful and that... Yeah

Oh excuse my english mistakes
 
OmgDudeWhatNoWay

OmgDudeWhatNoWay

Member
May 27, 2019
81
Oh man... yea... I think I was like 23 years old. This experience is actually the most traumatizing in my life, but there's a happy ending

There was a time period where I was unemployed for a couple of months. I was alone sitting in my room at the computer playing games like I usually do. I had my headphones on and my room door closed. All of a sudden, I heard my dad yell and drag out my name, and to "come over right now". I'm assuming my parents were having a discussion about me in the living room, eventually leading my dad to have an outburst. I had this "ahh sh*t" feeling in my gut as I anxiously walked into the living room. My dad told me "sit down". I sat on the floor on the other side of the coffee table from my dad, with my mom sitting on a couch behind my dad.

He told me how he couldn't comprehend why I was depressed, and that I didn't have a reason to feel depressed. He couldn't understand why I was suicidal. He looked me dead in the eye and nonchalantly told me something along the lines of "you know what, just go suicide". "Yea, so that way I can live comfortably and mom can live comfortably". Then he said something along the lines of kicking me out, and how he doesn't want to deal with me anymore, etc. My dad excused me after the end of our conversation, and I walked into my room. About a few minutes later, my parents come into my room, and my dad is basically just repeating all the things he's been saying, killing myself, get out of the house, etc.

My dad then left the room, and I heard silverware being rustled in the kitchen. At this moment, I realized what was happening. He's getting an actual knife. My mom immediately blocked the doorway and tried to grab the knife from my dad, while telling him to discard the knife. My dad was constantly switching the knife from his left and right hand behind his back to prevent my mom from grabbing the knife from him. I was sitting on my bed just witnessing this whole thing with my mom being the barrier to prevent my dad from coming in. If my mom wasn't there, I'm not sure if I would defend myself. I'm also not sure if he would have actually stabbed me, I really don't know, but you would expect the worst in that situation. Eventually my dad leaves and I hear him crying really loudly. My mom was standing and crying next to me. I was crying too. I felt so traumatized by the event that just unfolded that I temporarily went into a catatonic state. It was something that I've never felt before. I slowly started to grab my clothes in my drawer because I was planning to leave the house, but my mom told me that it's okay, and to just put the clothes back. Eventually my dad comes to my room and tells me to go to sleep because he wants me to get up early to bring me and my mom to his carpentry work.

Next day comes, I get dressed and stuff. We get in his car. We go to Los Angeles to the house he's currently working on, and and he's still quite pent up from his rage the day before. He was cursing/yelling, and honking at many cars for the slightest things that bothered him. Eventually we go to his work to help him, and I don't really remember what happens after that. Anyways, fast forward a bit to like a month or two, I got a job, my parents are satisfied and glad. Ever since I got that part time job (which I still have to this day), my dad is much nicer to me now, nicer than he's ever been. He always greets me, gives me a brofist, sometimes comes to my room to check up on me, tries to get me excited to try out this certain food like I'm some kid. He always asks me "Do you know how much I love you? More than infinity". He'll recite the same exact question and answer from time to time. At home, he's very loving and treats me like a baby/kid when I'm 25 y/o now, but at work he's different. He's strict and stern, and he'll yell at you if you do something incorrectly. He becomes very job orientated, but I guess that's just his style.
 
Last edited:
W

Walilamdzi

.
Mar 21, 2019
1,700
No. I was talking about assisted suicide and my dad kept saying... "Well, if you want to go, I'm sure you'll find a way, but it would be a shame." He also told me, during an argument that I didn't really mean it and I was trying to emotionally blackmail him. Not sure what I would gain from doing that... My mother said she would be very upset if I 'do anything to myself'. It's hard waking up every day and feeling so disappointed by life, even when people who love you are trying to help. But my own life has no hope really anymore, other people can't replace the potential that has been taken out of my life, even if they can provide some support, I don't think it would be possible for anyone to undo the damage that I've experienced.. I think I can manage a few more months. But equally, I wake up every morning filled with dread and go to sleep every night disappointed with what's happened in my life. I hope that my family understand that this is what my reality is like and I don't really see a way to function in the world.
 
D

dumbLove

New Member
Jan 9, 2022
2
My wife told me to do it. Pretty much everyone else tells me not to.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: Istanbulite
A

ameliacecelia

Member
Mar 11, 2022
87
I have a complicated situation in regards to this. After a year of worsening neurological symptoms that I could not get a diagnosis for (I still have more tests to do now), I asked my close family and friends of they would support me in my decision to seek medically assisted suicide if things became unbearable. Everyone said they would support me and my decision when that time came but we were far from it. My condition progressed and I pressed my mother and father to agree on a certain point. I said if I started urinating myself, that was an agreeable time to exit. I was bringing this up because I started having trouble with other body functions and feeding myself. They repeatedly evaded the conversation and said we would discuss it when the time came. I've been losing control of bladder function over the last couple weeks. I originally wanted to go peacefully surrounded by my loved ones. At this point, I've decided to proceed without informing anyone.
 

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