Anyone's downfall start with sexual/physical violence?

[LoveTakesManyForms]

My mental health problems started when I was assaulted at 15 and my knee damaged in the process. I then turned to weed to cope, which was encouraged by both my hippie parents, rather than being discouraged and seen as a coping mechanism.
They also told me not to worry too much as it "isn't addictive", despite my getting addicted after a short period of use.
My Dad was mostly absent and when he was around he was unstable and abusive. My Mum was extremely ill since I was 10, so I had nobody to help me cope with the injury. Back then I was too young to realise how it would affect me in the future.
The weed caused more damage to my mind at such a young age, and now I have severe memory problems and PTSD.

I wake up every day having to convince myself to keep living this life I can't stand. Wondering how much longer I should keep paying the price for somebody else's violence, and for having such irresponsible role models in my youth.
I mean I know we've got to take responsibility for our own choices, but when your role models teach you that what you're doing is OK, how would you know any better? I should have been sent to rehab, not having my Dad go "here Son, here's a nugget, it'll help you".

So to my question: how many of you are here due to violence, either physical or sexual, inflicted upon you? If so, what happened?

I wish you love and healing.

 

[motel rooms]

Yes, I was sexually abused & beaten as a child.

 

[LoveTakesManyForms]

Yes, I was sexually abused & beaten as a child.

I'm so sorry. What age? If you want to go into it you're welcome to, but it's totally understandable if you don't.

 

[Belljar]

Yes, abused and neglected as a child, bullying in my teens, abuse by men using me for sex in 20s, most recently had a home invasion where I was threatened abused and robbed in my longest time apartment. I'm ready to go.

 

[motel rooms]

I'm so sorry. What age? If you want to go into it you're welcome to, but it's totally understandable if you don't.

I was 3 or 4 when it started.

 

[Arrow]

nothing really caused my downfall i just started off falling down i guess

 

[LoveTakesManyForms]

Yes, abused and neglected as a child, bullying in my teens, abuse by men using me for sex in 20s, most recently had a home invasion where I was threatened abused and robbed in my longest time apartment. I'm ready to go.

Wow, that's enough to make just about anyone lose faith in humanity...!

 

[whateverthisnameis]

My mental health problems started when I was assaulted at 15 and my knee damaged in the process. I then turned to weed to cope, which was encouraged by both my hippie parents, rather than being discouraged and seen as a coping mechanism.
They also told me not to worry too much as it "isn't addictive", despite my getting addicted after a short period of use.
My Dad was mostly absent and when he was around he was unstable and abusive. My Mum was extremely ill since I was 10, so I had nobody to help me cope with the injury. Back then I was too young to realise how it would affect me in the future.
The weed caused more damage to my mind at such a young age, and now I have severe memory problems and PTSD.

I wake up every day having to convince myself to keep living this life I can't stand. Wondering how much longer I should keep paying the price for somebody else's violence, and for having such irresponsible role models in my youth.
I mean I know we've got to take responsibility for our own choices, but when your role models teach you that what you're doing is OK, how would you know any better? I should have been sent to rehab, not having my Dad go "here Son, here's a nugget, it'll help you".

So to my question: how many of you are here due to violence, either physical or sexual, inflicted upon you? If so, what happened?

I wish you love and healing.

I'm not here because of violence, but I do have a major sexual problem that makes want to ctb.

 

[Megneedshelp]

I'm not here because of violence, but I do have a major sexual problem that makes want to ctb.

Do you mind sharing the problem or is it private?

 

[whateverthisnameis]

Do you mind sharing the problem or is it private?

The very short of it is that I'm sexually attracted to nonhuman animals and am generally disgusted by it. I wrote a stupidly long post about it if you really want more details. It should be the most recent post if you search libido

 

[indigomoon]

Yes. I was molested by a cousin when I was 12. Then I was raped by a stranger when I was 17 and raped again by another stranger at 34z

 

[LucieInTheDark]

I was physically bullied by my mother and my classmates for most of my life, and I was attacked by my mother when I came out as trans. Also I was groomed by older men on the internet when I turned 15. I just wanted to be used, to feel useful and to feel a small modicum of love. Now I just want to dissapear

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Yes I wish I stayed a virgin

 

[Someone123]

For me it wasn't physical or sexual violence but mental and emotional abuse can be very similar if they are severe- if you are a little kid and your dad chases you all over the house screaming the worst things he can think of, all because you said hi, and then you collapse on the ground and he screams in your ear as loud as he can all the worst things he can think of you feel like you were beaten all over your body and you don't get up for hours, you feel like you were beaten everywhere on your whole body. I sometimes wished I was physically beaten so that I could show someone the bruises or so that someone else might see the bruises or other damage.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I have never had these issues in my life.

When I was young several adults attempted but they never were successful. I chalk this up to being raised in a generation where these issues were now openly discussed with children and part of the helicopter parent generation.

 

[Freedomindeath4me]

It may have been. I can only speculate. My memory is shit but I do have pretty good reason to suspect it.

 

[LoveTakesManyForms]

It may have been. I can only speculate. My memory is shit but I do have pretty good reason to suspect it.

Some possible repression going on huh

 

[plsimnotokay]

Yes, the pain and trauma is incredibly difficult to live with. I'm so sorry for what you went through. Your parents should've offered more support instead of getting you high. It seems like lazy parenting to me. You are right your dad and mom should have done more.

 

[xo777]

Yes being molested as a child started my downfall. Craving male attention after it so overly sexualizing myself on the internet- getting groomed- living with older men 20+ years older- sex trafficking- prostitution on my own and now porn and not in the onlyfans way

Butterfly effect I guess. All of us were failed by the ones who were meant to protect us. My parents found out too late but I guess the signs aren't clear unless they were looking for them and my parents were never taught to identify the signs they thought everything was fine. I still feel failed.

 

[TrynaChingMyself]

Yeah, I used to think it didn't affect me that much. But when I confronted it and really thought about it, all the bad things in my life stem from my childhood trauma.

Not a day goes by where I don't wish my childhood was better or that I was protected at least.

 

[CursedSoul]

idk if i should classify myself in that category, at least in the sexual part, but my ex always threatened me to leave, threaten me to tell others i was abusing her (i'm a guy, people usually don't believe me or call me a pussy, so they would believe her more than me even tho i'm the victim), she would insult me, downgrade me, remind myself that i was nothing without her, constantly reminding how no females other than me liked me, and i always ended up sending her pictures or videos of myself performing various sexual acts for her to not abandon me cause i couldn't take it. Of course, i didn't want to. When i tell others, they call me a pussy, so yeah. then in the violence category, i was bullied because i didn't speak to everyone and was an introvert, i had to fight litterally for my life, every school year, was bullied into killing myself multiple times over and over again. What a shit show and what a shitty life. I wish the best to everyone on this thread and those reading us

 

[Weebster]

My downfall occurred when I battled God for the throne of heaven and was thusly struck down and forced to take corporeal form on this miserable planet.

 

[AloneInCollege]

idk if i should classify myself in that category, at least in the sexual part, but my ex always threatened me to leave, threaten me to tell others i was abusing her (i'm a guy, people usually don't believe me or call me a pussy, so they would believe her more than me even tho i'm the victim), she would insult me, downgrade me, remind myself that i was nothing without her, constantly reminding how no females other than me liked me, and i always ended up sending her pictures or videos of myself performing various sexual acts for her to not abandon me cause i couldn't take it. Of course, i didn't want to. When i tell others, they call me a pussy, so yeah. then in the violence category, i was bullied because i didn't speak to everyone and was an introvert, i had to fight litterally for my life, every school year, was bullied into killing myself multiple times over and over again. What a shit show and what a shitty life. I wish the best to everyone on this thread and those reading us

Jesus, I'm sorry man. And you're not a pussy, you were abused and that's an awful thing. I know me saying that isn't gonna help much, but still it's the truth.

 

[CursedSoul]

My downfall occurred when I battled God for the throne of heaven and was thusly struck down and forced to take corporeal form on this miserable planet.

thanks, very kind of you still, it helps a bit to atleast having nice people hang out with you :)

 

[Weebster]

thanks, very kind of you still, it helps a bit to atleast having nice people hang out with you :)

Is English your second language because I'm not understanding your comment?

 

[CursedSoul]

thanks, very kind of you still, it helps a bit to atleast having nice people hang out with you :)

yes it is my second language, just wanted to say thanks for the kind words.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Yes I was poorly Influenced by the wrong people about masturbation and learned about porn. Begun having phonesex in my late teens skipping high school, begun sending nudes to random men online and looking for men for sex leading to an abusive relationship that broke me. I then had a fwb, and then a one night stand leading to assault. I abused alcohol after my first heartbreak.

You know I'm just now realizing I was groomed to be sexually exploited. Parents were neglectful and didn't know the harmful effects of the internet. I feel if they had a child lock on the web for me I wouldn't have went to sexual path. Also if they promoted healthy tools like dance and martial arts instead of me sitting in my room playing video games. They just were ill informed. You can screw your entire life up having sex too soon before you're emotionally mature. I can't help but think I'd be more socialized with martial arts and dance and my sexual exploits wouldn't have happened and I would have had the plastic surgery necessary for my insecurities.

 

[Symbiote]

My downfall occurred when my mom took home a client of hers and they eloped, 9 months later I popped out.

 

[outatime_85]

I was physically assaulted by my bullies; constant beat downs, having weapons pulled on me, having things taken from me, etc.

I did not know or understand fighting at the time, so I was unwilling and unable to fight back.

Unfortunately, I'm still living with it all, unable to come to terms with it all.

On top of that, I remember everything that happened.

 

[Sinfulserenity]

Yes, molested by my father from babyhood until I hit puberty.