Anyone with bpd?

[letmediethanks]

I feel very abandoned, lonely, and angry right now. just wondering if anybody is suicidal because of recently getting left by a lover or someone they trusted. Would be nice to not feel like i'm not the only person like this.

 

[letmediethanks]

I'm listening to songs we loved together. Its so painful. But I don't want to stop.

 

[livingisloathing]

Don't have BPD but I have been through heartbreak with severe depression.
For some it gets better with time but holy fuck is it hell (and it still is for me). Here to talk if you want.

 

[letmediethanks]

Don't have BPD but I have been through heartbreak with severe depression.
For some it gets better with time but holy fuck is it hell (and it still is for me). Here to talk if you want.

thank u for responding. I'd love for us to share more with each other, just don't know how PMing works or when I'll be allowed to start doing it haha

 

[wiIIow]

bpd sufferer here. i understand how painful it is to live with this illness, and the severe stigma towards it doesn't help (in my experience, anyway).

I'm sorry that you feel alone. i feel a kinship of sorts with fellow bpd folks and I wish I could take away the suffering. it's truly an awful disease, even now that I've become more aware of the symptoms and what triggers them. I'm in a constant battle with my own brain, and keeping myself in check 24/7 is an exhausting process.

 

[nuclearsnake]

Some therapists I've talked to suspected I might have it (I assume it's because of selfharm, selfhatred and maybe the trans shit) but others said I don't because I do not display the relationship issues. I stay away from relationships entirely because I think of myself as too disgusting.

I have one friend though and sometimes she makes me feel abandoned which isn't all that nice.

 

[letmediethanks]

@wiIIow
it is so painful, I'm glad someone understands. I really would do anything to make it go away. I can't escape it, not even when I sleep.

 

[letmediethanks]

@nuclearsnake that's rough, sorry about everything you're going through. I've felt abandoned by friends starting from like middle school, so there could be a possibility you have it.
I hope you are able to find more people to get closer to. God knows we all deserve it.

 

[Trashcan]

I do not but my heart goes out to you, it would be awful to have. The stigma is also unfortunate and very untrue.

 

[letmediethanks]

I do not but my heart goes out to you, it would be awful to have. The stigma is also unfortunate and very untrue.

Thank you, I appreciate it.

 

[JustcallmeChris]

I feel very abandoned, lonely, and angry right now. just wondering if anybody is suicidal because of recently getting left by a lover or someone they trusted. Would be nice to not feel like i'm not the only person like this.

I know exactly how you're feeling, pm me if you wanna talk.

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Ya I do along with bipolar and know how you feel about breakups. I tend to go from suicidal to then self destructive/hypomanic. Although it's been a long time since I was suicidal from a breakup.

 

[2CropcircleUNeedHelp]

Every human being is bipolar. it is our god given nature. God created night because he saw that day was good. Purgatory is when you are flatlined emotionally. Contrast is what brings entertainment and enjoyment. When you are sad or happy you are showing that you care about yourself. This effort to say bpd is a real thing is simply a method to incarcerate as many people as possible into the psychiatric trap of addiction and false idols. Autism is chemical saturation in the body which leads to brain inflammation, all other "mental disorders" are nutritional defficiencies and chemical poisonings. There are many gmo'd food which cause this. One trick to purify your body of these things is to eat let the sun into you, with raw vegetables, natural sun absorption and water consumption. Fasting also has great purifying effects. It is clear that the establishment has organized to stop true spirituality and self-help. They are promoted terrible chemicals and demoted natural sun light within their advertising world.

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Every human being is bipolar. it is our god given nature. God created night because he saw that day was good. Purgatory is when you are flatlined emotionally. Contrast is what brings entertainment and enjoyment. When you are sad or happy you are showing that you care about yourself. This effort to say bpd is a real thing is simply a method to incarcerate as many people as possible into the psychiatric trap of addiction and false idols. Autism is chemical saturation in the body which leads to brain inflammation, all other "mental disorders" are nutritional defficiencies and chemical poisonings. There are many gmo'd food which cause this. One trick to purify your body of these things is to eat let the sun into you, with raw vegetables, natural sun absorption and water consumption. Fasting also has great purifying effects. It is clear that the establishment has organized to stop true spirituality and self-help. They are promoted terrible chemicals and demoted natural sun light within their advertising world.

How about you get out of here with your bs. I'm sor ty but bipolar and bpd is not some normal thing and you saying so is a insult.

 

[skitliv]

Every human being is bipolar. it is our god given nature. God created night because he saw that day was good. Purgatory is when you are flatlined emotionally. Contrast is what brings entertainment and enjoyment. When you are sad or happy you are showing that you care about yourself. This effort to say bpd is a real thing is simply a method to incarcerate as many people as possible into the psychiatric trap of addiction and false idols. Autism is chemical saturation in the body which leads to brain inflammation, all other "mental disorders" are nutritional defficiencies and chemical poisonings. There are many gmo'd food which cause this. One trick to purify your body of these things is to eat let the sun into you, with raw vegetables, natural sun absorption and water consumption. Fasting also has great purifying effects. It is clear that the establishment has organized to stop true spirituality and self-help. They are promoted terrible chemicals and demoted natural sun light within their advertising world.

Times like these I'd love to have a dislike button

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Have BPD, though at the lower end of the spectrum.

It SUCKS. The constant accelerated mood swings and the emptiness that follows are draining. Just want it to stop

 

[Fucking loving it]

I have BPD. Sucks

 

[MachineGunDani]

I have BPD! It blows lol

 

[skitliv]

I have it too

 

[2CropcircleUNeedHelp]

How about you get out of here with your bs. I'm sor ty but bipolar and bpd is not some normal thing and you saying so is a insult.

You cannot prove that it is a disorder. You can only prove that a person is acting a certain way. Maybe if you saw it in a positive light, you could learn to interpret how you are feeling in a positive way. Low energy and high energy moments. I am glad when I am feel really high or really relaxed/tired/recovering because it means I am doing what I am or was to the maximum effect. Why would you prefer to not be able to siphon more energy or brain power when you need it most, and less when there is time to rest. These emotions and cycles are beneficial if you get past the victim of genetics mentality. Genetics account for a fair amount, but there was a time when my slow friend was better at reading than me because he put in more effort. Genetics are the enemy of freedom and spirituality. With a shortsighted appreciation for only what is already attained, life becomes a communist, centralized thing where we are not in control of how much or little we experience in our lives. Seems like psychiatry is exactly what corporations that profit off of a person's will to fit in and normalize would want right? Why is it better to assume you are held prisoner to what society tells you are. BPD diagnosis are not scientific. They are assumed using insufficient evidence. The goal of the psychiatric community is to prescribe as much drugs as possible without being called into question. The most vulnerable and open to coercing are the ones who fall for the, "it is not my fault, but the world around me for not conforming to my will" lie. You assume the world should give you what you heart desires without any work? Communism is the opposite of freedom. It means that the centralized authorities control what the job of each person are. There is a point where we have a saturated job market and too many people. What will happen if we decide to be communist at this point though is, the economy will fail because the society will not run as efficiently. This is what will happen. Sally will ask Tim for some rice. Sally says she has to feed a lot of people. Sally thought she had the funds to pay for the rice for everyone for a long period of time, but she is short on funds because she hasn't made enough money in the first place. She hasn't mad enough money in the first place because the person who was going to give her money didn't receive enough money either. No body will be able to account for the money. This is because the gdp has dropped in the communist society. With this decrease is gdp, eventually the controllers will order the people to work in order to make up the deficit, except the people will be less motivated, and every good and service will be delayed and less accurately requested and fulfilled because people will not be honest with how much they need. They will not be accountable for the amount of goods they are consuming. Communism is just asking for famine and societal collapse. Just spoke to a man who moved from the Soviet Union before it went downhill because of communism and he said that communism is not good. Goes without saying. But I don't think that people realize that not taking responsibility for how you feel is communist. You are placing blame on other people for your live's outcome. In most cases, people are okay when they are aware of correct way to live, with on chemicals in the body. Consume the sun.

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

You cannot prove that it is a disorder. You can only prove that a person is acting a certain way. Maybe if you saw it in a positive light, you could learn to interpret how you are feeling in a positive way. Low energy and high energy moments. I am glad when I am feel really high or really relaxed/tired/recovering because it means I am doing what I am or was to the maximum effect. Why would you prefer to not be able to siphon more energy or brain power when you need it most, and less when there is time to rest. These emotions and cycles are beneficial if you get past the victim of genetics mentality. Genetics account for a fair amount, but there was a time when my slow friend was better at reading than me because he put in more effort. Genetics are the enemy of freedom and spirituality. With a shortsighted appreciation for only what is already attained, life becomes a communist, centralized thing where we are not in control of how much or little we experience in our lives. Seems like psychiatry is exactly what corporations that profit off of a person's will to fit in and normalize would want right? Why is it better to assume you are held prisoner to what society tells you are. BPD diagnosis are not scientific. They are assumed using insufficient evidence. The goal of the psychiatric community is to prescribe as much drugs as possible without being called into question. The most vulnerable and open to coercing are the ones who fall for the, "it is not my fault, but the world around me for not conforming to my will" lie. You assume the world should give you what you heart desires without any work? Communism is the opposite of freedom. It means that the centralized authorities control what the job of each person are. There is a point where we have a saturated job market and too many people. What will happen if we decide to be communist at this point though is, the economy will fail because the society will not run as efficiently. This is what will happen. Sally will ask Tim for some rice. Sally says she has to feed a lot of people. Sally thought she had the funds to pay for the rice for everyone for a long period of time, but she is short on funds because she hasn't made enough money in the first place. She hasn't mad enough money in the first place because the person who was going to give her money didn't receive enough money either. No body will be able to account for the money. This is because the gdp has dropped in the communist society. With this decrease is gdp, eventually the controllers will order the people to work in order to make up the deficit, except the people will be less motivated, and every good and service will be delayed and less accurately requested and fulfilled because people will not be honest with how much they need. They will not be accountable for the amount of goods they are consuming. Communism is just asking for famine and societal collapse. Just spoke to a man who moved from the Soviet Union before it went downhill because of communism and he said that communism is not good. Goes without saying. But I don't think that people realize that not taking responsibility for how you feel is communist. You are placing blame on other people for your live's outcome. In most cases, people are okay when they are aware of correct way to live, with on chemicals in the body. Consume the sun.

Not even gonna read all this. Please bpd and bipolar are real disorders you have no idea what it's like and you spewing this bs isn't helping anyone on here and actually pretty sure brain scans can show the differences.

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

I might be a male bpd, I certain seem to evoke strong emotions in many people, and be prone to what may be considered overreacting. I'll split, I've got no real sense of self, I don't know how to have friends or a relationship, it's more like forms of pain control for me, I've become much more introverted and selfish in recent years as I realize that though being alone is painful at times, the pain of friendships and relationships going bad is quite a bit more painful and traumatic at times. I'm more often bad news than good news, despite my intentions. I just feel sort of numbed after feeling much more acutely than many around me it seems, you know the kind, who always seem themselves as total victims and never apologize, sometimes even use you as an excuse to become a martyr or victim. They sort of have a sadomasochistic enjoyment of hanging on to my faults against them, but admittedly I do too I suppose. Oh dear xD

But beyond binge eating, I don't really self harm so maybe not, or just a milder case.

 

[2CropcircleUNeedHelp]

Not even gonna read all this. Please bpd and bipolar are real disorders you have no idea what it's like and you spewing this bs isn't helping anyone on here and actually pretty sure brain scans can show the differences.

Maybe, but that doesn't mean that differences are a bad thing. Even if they were, we know treating our body right and naturally is the best way to the top. We would be useless without bpd. I hope you feel you are responding as directly as possible.

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

I should add that today I have had a bit of a mood swing from when I posted yesterday, though the person I had a falling out with was trying to hurt me so that may have influenced my decision, but sometimes I feel I am very much to blame in most cases, I also suffer from what I might call "social media syndrome," where I have trouble committing to one friend or one person, or even a few, combined with some rather one-sided and dysfunctional friendships in the past I feel, all of which made it harder for me to act like I cared for anyone beyond a point. Indeed, I suppose that's true, I've put up an emotional wall for years now, and often the only people who can get through and affect me are those who hurt me, intentionally or unintentionally.

 

[botderlinemistake]

Found this website for that specific reason. My codependent fp just walked out of my life and I can't cope with this feeling again. That's the second time an fp has walked away in 2 years. I can't do it. It's too much. I'm ready to go. Thinking of shallow water drowning method.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

I was diagnosed with it in my early twenties I disagree with the diagnosis mostly because it took place during my time of psychological crises for me. I have many other psychological issues that on the surface may appear to the unfamiliar has bpd, .....

 

[2CropcircleUNeedHelp]

I was diagnosed with it in my early twenties I disagree with the diagnosis mostly because it took place during my time of psychological crises for me. I have many other psychological issues that on the surface may appear to the unfamiliar has bpd, .....

Did you know that psychological issues are fixable by definition? If there wasn't a sliding scale of measurement, there would be no such thing as psychological variance. There is a block and a repair that can be made always.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

Did you know that psychological issues are fixable by definition? If there wasn't a sliding scale of measurement, there would be no such thing as psychological variance. There is a block and a repair that can be made always.

I don't understand block and repair

 

[2CropcircleUNeedHelp]

I don't understand block and repair

So here is one example from my life if you care to listen. I want to approach a girl. I see one, I don't approach, I feel regret, I think more (this is the important part). If you don't think more and fall into a situation where you blame someone besides yourself, you will not solve the problem because of your avoidance. Let me be clear i use avoidance in cases where the best thing for me to do is ignore it. It is also called selective memory. When the most productive thing for me to do is avoid pursuing an outcome besides the one that is currently set, I move on to affecting other outcomes.

So back to the thinking more..... I think more..... and I remember what happened, feeling the emotions that are associated with each action and reaction, or what emotions are assumed to be associated with each reaction. Basically explained, I remove my ego from the past that I am thinking of and think why each thing happened once the thing before it happened.

So, many of the goals that I develop throughout each recollection as I pinpoint what I want my personality to be(perceived as by me/and others), are I want to be in a position where I feel like I am the leader or bigger person. I associate efficiency with these things.

Here is one more specific example, someone tells me in school that I am (a bad thing).

Here are my options

React in a way that portrays that you care about what they said.

React in a way that portrays (remember to yourself/and the audience) that you do not care.

It is also important to understand that if you are going for a connection to the person, reacting in a way that makes them think they mean nothing to you with make them not want to test whether you care about what they say.

If you react in a way where you want to change their opinions, you are conceding that they have power over you, and you admire them.

So let's elaborate on why I would react in a non-caring or caring way to a mean thing someone said.

Maybe you understand that mean things which are said are not mean but interested comments.

Maybe you want to make the person think you like them and are subordinate to them because you like being led.

It is up to you how you want to be interpreted.

There are multiple ways to guide each situation.

A block might be that you are mad at people for insulting you.

One way around it is to realize that, by executing the action that they assumed would lead to you begging them to stop, in the form of acting sad or rebelling verbally, they are portraying that they care about your opinion. They might think you are cute.

Maybe you like being treated in an subordinate way and what you are really mad about is the fact that they only incorporate you into their lives subordinately from a distance and refuse to make you their bf/gf.

So if you did not want to feel helpless and dependent on their approval, you would not care about what they said.

That is it. You don't care and if they approach you, you laugh at their attempt at making you their own(their dependent subordinate person) mentally or more physically) and this will portray that you do not place yourself as subordinate when they act this way towards you, but think of them as less confident people grasping at straws(people) who will agree to their terms(that they are the holders of the keys to approval in life around them).

The blockade was your dependency on their approval, and the repair was you teaching yourself to not care.


One method to teach yourself to not care is to..... look straight ahead, and notice how you are the same as how you were the previous step(physical step) and trust that you will be the same for the coming steps(many of them). After doing this once, you will have the confident not caring feeling down. If you know tha tyou are dependent on the approval of someone you deem admirable, you don't convince yourself you don't need it, you convince yourself that you need the leadership of someone else who is good in ways that you approve of.

This is a common social hierarchical dilemma.

That is why I spoke of it.

Another example could be nervousness.

Similar thing actually.

If you realize that your nervousness is because of your will to be appreciated by the audience, you will be able to feel more comfortable in your own shoes. When you are thinking one thing but your heart is saying another, the conflict internally distracts you to the point where you can't think efficiently. I would admit you want the approval of the audience, and that might help you focus on what needs to be said in order to meet that goal. Or decide you don't care and speak for the approval of your own conscience.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

So here is one example from my life if you care to listen. I want to approach a girl. I see one, I don't approach, I feel regret, I think more (this is the important part). If you don't think more and fall into a situation where you blame someone besides yourself, you will not solve the problem because of your avoidance. Let me be clear i use avoidance in cases where the best thing for me to do is ignore it. It is also called selective memory. When the most productive thing for me to do is avoid pursuing an outcome besides the one that is currently set, I move on to affecting other outcomes.

So back to the thinking more..... I think more..... and I remember what happened, feeling the emotions that are associated with each action and reaction, or what emotions are assumed to be associated with each reaction. Basically explained, I remove my ego from the past that I am thinking of and think why each thing happened once the thing before it happened.

So, many of the goals that I develop throughout each recollection as I pinpoint what I want my personality to be(perceived as by me/and others), are I want to be in a position where I feel like I am the leader or bigger person. I associate efficiency with these things.

Here is one more specific example, someone tells me in school that I am (a bad thing).

Here are my options

React in a way that portrays that you care about what they said.

React in a way that portrays (remember to yourself/and the audience) that you do not care.

It is also important to understand that if you are going for a connection to the person, reacting in a way that makes them think they mean nothing to you with make them not want to test whether you care about what they say.

If you react in a way where you want to change their opinions, you are conceding that they have power over you, and you admire them.

So let's elaborate on why I would react in a non-caring or caring way to a mean thing someone said.

Maybe you understand that mean things which are said are not mean but interested comments.

Maybe you want to make the person think you like them and are subordinate to them because you like being led.

It is up to you how you want to be interpreted.

There are multiple ways to guide each situation.

A block might be that you are mad at people for insulting you.

One way around it is to realize that, by executing the action that they assumed would lead to you begging them to stop, in the form of acting sad or rebelling verbally, they are portraying that they care about your opinion. They might think you are cute.

Maybe you like being treated in an subordinate way and what you are really mad about is the fact that they only incorporate you into their lives subordinately from a distance and refuse to make you their bf/gf.

So if you did not want to feel helpless and dependent on their approval, you would not care about what they said.

That is it. You don't care and if they approach you, you laugh at their attempt at making you their own(their dependent subordinate person) mentally or more physically) and this will portray that you do not place yourself as subordinate when they act this way towards you, but think of them as less confident people grasping at straws(people) who will agree to their terms(that they are the holders of the keys to approval in life around them).

The blockade was your dependency on their approval, and the repair was you teaching yourself to not care.


One method to teach yourself to not care is to..... look straight ahead, and notice how you are the same as how you were the previous step(physical step) and trust that you will be the same for the coming steps(many of them). After doing this once, you will have the confident not caring feeling down. If you know tha tyou are dependent on the approval of someone you deem admirable, you don't convince yourself you don't need it, you convince yourself that you need the leadership of someone else who is good in ways that you approve of.

This is a common social hierarchical dilemma.

That is why I spoke of it.

Another example could be nervousness.

Similar thing actually.

If you realize that your nervousness is because of your will to be appreciated by the audience, you will be able to feel more comfortable in your own shoes. When you are thinking one thing but your heart is saying another, the conflict internally distracts you to the point where you can't think efficiently. I would admit you want the approval of the audience, and that might help you focus on what needs to be said in order to meet that goal. Or decide you don't care and speak for the approval of your own conscience.

Sorry TL DR I'm too too drunk and too high remind me to read it tomorrow thank you I'm actually interested