I always felt different from others. I always felt things different from others. I always thought that, for some reason, I felt things more. That I was much more sensitive. That the other people were a lot more cold. I always took a lot a of time to get over things and that's why I am closing myself more and more. Also, I always had a hard time dealing with loneliness, like an unbearable feeling. So a lot of times I think that something is wrong with me. And maybe, maybe I have like some type of personality disorder, like borderline, and this (the way I behave) isn't my fault after all. Maybe isn't just depression. I am so lost :( No job, with a roof at the moment, no food nor hungry either. I just can't take it anymore alone.
The world is literally controlled by psychopaths.
You never found it strange that they call normal human emotions diseases to be drugged away?
Depression is how the body warns us that our needs aren't met. Malnutrition & exhaustion.
Anxiety warns us of danger. The adrenals unleashes adrenalin to releases fuel... It gives an energy boost. A woman lifted a car to save her baby. Anxiety is a superpower. The reason of anxiety is bad, it's abuse. An abusive society doesn't like anxious slaves about to lash out in revolt. They like them shamed, isolated & sedated. They gave mental disorders to ingrate slaves who dared to flee their generous masters. Does it seem right? It's evil.
Personalities disorders ate bullying pretending to be science. Telling an abused child that the pedophile isn't wrong, it's the victim who has a bad personality... It adds more psychological violence. That's why they think personality disorders are incurable. Because you can't make someone stop screaming by stabbing them a 2nd time in the heart. They don't understand. Because they're psychopaths with zero empathy. Or are too dumb to question protocols. Happy to look down & stigmatize people as crazy inhuman defects. Monsters.
You are emotionally more sensitive due to a hyper sensitive nervous system. It also makes you more intelligent. The extra stimuli information exhausts you faster & your brain needs more vitamin b & c to run faster than average. People see this as a defect because they want average marathons, but your specialty is sprints. That requires long rests. But you can be spectacular. Trying to sprint as long as those who do average marathons lead to burn out & bad self esteem... Cats sleep non stop then can sprint to catch a mouse. You're a cat in a world of dumb gold fishes. You were born to be god. But the pyranas will gang on you & devour you.
Don't let them.
There is no such thing as a personality disorder. But there is trauma... And people who lack the mirror neurons necessary to copy emotions & feel empathy.
Don't think you're the wrong one in a world lead by psychopaths.
I'm sorry you are going through this, it does sound awful.
It might very well be a disorder of some kind - I don't know much about bpd but I have been diagnosed with bipolar and everyday is a struggle for survival.
The mood swings and depression alone makes life harder than it should be. Sometimes this suffering we endure is an unfortunate defect of our brain (or wherever mental illness stems from). Loneliness is so common amongst the mentally ill because it alienates us from society and all the "normal" people.
Bipolar is reactive hypoglycemia. Avoid sugars & grains. Replace them by stuff high in c & b vitamins. Greens & meat. It will stabilize your blood sugar and power up body functions.
It can also be if you don't respect your limit & constantly burn yourself out. You rest in depression. Then go too much too long when you finally have energy. Learn to pace yourself & rest after sprints. We can't do it all. We must choose stuff
Think understand mean human differences follow norm way think. Always diffrente feel , problem now injury damage lost older selves. But always different, human follow program not follow Sam have own code
I think many people betray who they are to fit in. It takes courage to be different, especially when we can't hide a wound... People gang on us like vultures... It's best to have our own moral code than just mindlessly follow bad leaders... *Hugs*
